I have 4c hair but it's pretty soft and def has an obvious curl pattern. It didn't have one until I learned how to take care of it properly, though, so I guess you just have to find what does it for you. After experimenting for a while, it's soft and bouncy! I just embrace the shrinkage as a characteristic of my hair. Chasing a looser curl pattern rather than figuring out your own will only end in disappointment.
I've noticed (personally, in my rl exchanges), that it seems that women with the most trouble with their natural 4 hair just don't know how to do their hair and since they've had straight hair all their lives and don't understand that it's simply a different kind of work. Your hair should not be getting tangled too badly after only a few hours/day. My hair detangles after running it through the shower if I'm taking care to keep it healthy and hydrated, so maybe your hair isn't getting the right kind of protection? Maybe try letting the sebum get to the ends of your hair?
I'm not disagreeing, but so many people treat 4c hair like its the worst possible thing when it's manageable as long as you treat it like it should be, not treating it like your permed hair or just following everyone else's formula.>>63995
Matted like a rug? How? Is it hydrated and cleansed? That only happens to me if I leave my hair out and don't comb it for three months.