Anon, I get where you're coming from. I suffered of gender dysphoria since early childhood. I wanted to be a boy so bad, most of my friends were male and my brother was closer to me than my sister. I didn't get along with girls at all. As a teen I realized I was a lesbian and tried to be as androgynous (or masculine) as possible, and in my late teens I found out about transgenderism. Everything clicked and ever since that I was contemplating transition for almost a decade. My dysphoria got worse and worse during the year, every time someone called me a girl it hurt like you described. I fantasized about going on T, getting surgeries, what my male name would be, how I would come out etc. I even told about it to my mother and she was supportive of it. When I came out to my friends, they all told me they'd accept me whatever I decided to do. Taking showers was awful, I hated seeing my body. I started wearing a binder, loose-fitting clothes and all the rest. Getting ready for transitioning, basically.
It wasn't until the recent tranny craze hit, and especially when the transwomen started invading female spaces and I realized how strong of a connection I felt with the female gender when that storm hit. I saw other girls who were convinced that they were FTM. I met post-op FTMs who regretted going through with it. I read up about how there's no biological proof for "transgender brains" and saw people making pretty solid arguments against the trend. That's when I grew dubious of my "gender dysphoria". It took me a long time to really meet my own traumas and realize how I was basically the type 1-a described here >>221107
. I was bullied for being a tomboy, I was insecure about my looks not being traditionally feminine, other girls never accepted me as one of their own, as a teen I was sexually harassed by older guys, I admired the fantasy males in female fiction, I was ashamed of my homosexuality so I wanted to be a "straight guy" instead of a gay girl.
Every woman should be allowed to present as whatever they want and exist like they are without being harassed or told that they're "too manly". It really hurts
to see younger girls go through what I did. They have the exact same issues I had and people are telling them to go on T and cut their tits off at 16. That Post too long. Click here to view the full text.