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Previous thread hit post limit >>119875
Let it out anons.
I've been told that I have a really low self-esteem. I take things way too personally, and awful things people do to me stick around for what feels like forever.
For example, one of the big things bothering me right now happened back in November. I was playing a video game, not a care in the world, and suddenly the admin decided he wanted to enter into a pissing contest for no real reason. So he turned on cheats for himself, and started stomping me into the ground. Instead of leaving, I instead asked why he was doing this, and his response was "Because I'm a doctor making 200K a year and I can spent my money however I want you fucking commie nigger.". He then stomped me into the ground some more with his cheats on, and kicked me.
The thing that has stuck around with me about it wasn't the game part, but the feeling of being helpless. I felt genuinely unable to do anything about it after it happened. That feeling has persisted for months.
I know I could have just quit the game, but the thought that this awful man with his poisoned mind is out there treating people has made me anxious to even visit a real-life doctor.
What do I do to get over it? I feel like a paranoid bitch right now.
I want to think so, too. But I checked his profile and other people on his friends list seriously seem to also think he's a doctor.
So he's either playing a long game, or he's a doctor.
I had this problem too because I grew up in redneck country. A lot of the hick girls who I went to school with that were absolutely awful people keep trying to add me to facebook every now and then.
I just let those invitations sit because I'm too shy to decline them.
Grow a spine and tell her you're not her best friend plus you don't want a friendship with her anymore.
Yeah you'll look like a bad person in her eyes but apparently you think she's toxic despite who she may be now so it doesn't make sense to care about her opinion anyway. >>181961
They're internet friends and you don't know. Unless there's a practice with his name listed it's all bullshit.
Trust me, any "doctor" would have some kind of online trail as practices and hospitals do list their names as staff.
He's probably some lab rat. Any kind of person who has to show off their "power" in a video game must not be very powerful irl.
This actually makes me feel better. I tried telling some people I knew about this incident and got those people sympathizing with him ('it's his right to play however he wants even if he cheats, etc') and that made me feel exponentially worse.
I guess you are right, though. There's no proof of that and I shouldn't take his word for granted. Thank you.
Having a problem with trying to be friends with a flirty guy. It's obvious that we both used to crush on each other but I have a boyfriend I'm committed to. I'm friends with the flirty guy and I'm starting to just see him in a platonic way now but unfortunately his texts are really flirty still (100% more than his irl behavior). I reply to his texts by avoiding whatever compliment or innuendo he's made but I'm always so paranoid my boyfriend will see them and think something is going on. Flirty guy knows I'm in a committed relationship but I worry he's reading too much into any of the usual relationship issues I once mentioned in passing, but he's not like this irl. Men are a nightmare, I just want to be friends with a hot guy and be his wingman.>>181988
Agree that you should just tell her that you don't want to be her friend because of the things she has done.
Ignorant isn't an excuse, so don't put her on a pedestal. You can type up an honest message without being cruel about it and just leave her to respond to it however she wants to. If you're afraid of her responding afterwards then just repeat that you don't have room/time in your life to talk to her and block her.
I know that feel. It's particularly complicated because I'm pretty much glued to my phone so even if I take an hour and reply to everyone, I'm sure to get some replies back and they'll be hanging on my mind until I deal with them. The ride never ends!
I'll get lonely and talk to a ton of people on Hellotalk and then get overwhelmed and drop them all and repeat cycle. I'm the kind of person who will be stressed until a task is completed. With friends there's kind of never a point where you get that satisfaction of "Right, job well done."
That said, I do have a couple cool kids who I can either chat with for hours or ignore them for days and there's no harm done. It's hard to find friends who you feel that comfortable enough with.
No advice here. "The only winning move is not to play at all" seems to be the toxic lesson I keep teaching myself though.
I know that feel, anon.
I hate my body. I get sick (a cold/flu/stomach flu/mono) at least 3 times a month. It sucks but that's not really the worst part. My biggest problem is that I cannot, for the life of me, stay awake. If I sleep for 7-8 hours, I feel utterly exhausted. I can function on 11-12. But even then, I will find myself falling asleep throughout the day and I can't even control it. I'll fall asleep at school, at work, at my friends' houses, on the bus– everywhere. It's kind of scary because I'm scared I will fall asleep somewhere dangerous. Because it's really hard to wake me up when I've fallen asleep.
It's making my life so hard and has been for years. I have so much trouble keeping on top of normal things no one else has issues with. I have tried to hard to tell my doctor about this but she just brushes me off. She tells me to go vegan and exercise, but I exercise 3x a week, I'm already vegetarian, and I'm underweight. I don't have any vitamin deficiencies or anything. I actually broke down crying the last time I saw her and tried to make her understand how badly this was affecting my life, because she just told me "I can find no biological reason for your fatigue, don't come back unless something is actually
Anyway, I'm sorry you have to deal with a shitty body too. I can barely keep up with life. I have lots of other problems but this just makes them all so much worse.
same. i don't like how promoting islam got tied up into all other liberal stuff, and disagreeing with islam immediately makes you "altright". i like equal rights for women so how tf am i supposed to be on board with a religion which clearly says a woman's testimony is worth less than a mans? or that hitting your wife is ok? fuck it. i mean, you kill or conquer people, force them to convert to your new religion, and it's no wonder they got stockholm syndrome a few centuries later. doesn't make it any better. >>182041
you need to see another doctor, the lady you're seeing now is wack. try looking for a walk-in clinic if you can't switch a family doctor
It's a very obvious Harlequin novel turned into a book tbh>Le Current Year Mary Sue goes back in time and falls in love with a sexy Scottish warlord prince>somehow everyone starts obsessing over the show in spite of its crappy premise and crappier writing
And everyone falls in love with the Mary Sue obv.
I watched thinking that "Hey but it's from Starz, maybe it won't be so shitty". I was wrong.
The worst thing is seeing all those women fawning over it, going all "Where oh where could I ever find a man like Jamie"… Like an attractive douchebag? Just walk into a club girl
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don't want to get into it but i feel like saying it anyway - i really hate myself. a lot. almost every night i lay in bed wishing i were a different person and crying myself to sleep over it.
Was this a standardized test or a class test?
If it's a class test, is it the kind of test where you may get some kind of scaling applied if everyone else did equally as miserable?
Most monotheistic religions are a scam. I get the same reactions criticizing Christianity, except I'm normally criticizing the people who claim to practice it.
People call me a filthy lib even though I'm an ex-Catholic and fiercely critical precisely because I was so involved with the religion and therefore know egregious behavior when I see it. Islam and Christianity are pretty damn awful viewed through a progressive lens–both have violent and patriarchal overtones. But as long as both are maintained at a personal level and it doesn't spread to influence federal or state decisions, I don't care.
Unfortunately, I think Christianity is rocking the boat harder than Islam currently is because of the actions of the current US potus and the federal government making it clear that it favors the religion over others and non-theists. I don't know why people would be calling you a bigot just for criticizing the religion, but I guess it depends on the context and where you're bringing it up.
If you think christianity is rocking the boat more than islam, you haven't payed attention to the massive refugee crisis. Europe is bending over backward to accommodate muslim wishes. Muslims are basically allowed to rape and be violent and they won't get punished since "they don't know any better and its their religion and culture". The media covers up whenever a refugee commits crime. Hell Sweden just allowed a 14 year old child bride to be legally married to her cousin since its their culture and she seems mature. 50 fucking percent of muslim refugees here think sharia law should be implemented here , 20 percent thinks criticism against islam should be illegal, and seven percent think death penalty is a fitting crime for blasphemy against islam.
But if you dare say Islam has any blame in this fuckery, liberals will claw your throat out for being intolerant against their culture.
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I must vent because I think I'm going crazy.
Fucking boyfriend. I feel bad when I hang out with friends because that pisses him off. Like he does not say why he just acts moody and bitchy during (if he is there, he LOVES just sitting with my friends and scowling like a little bitch) and after I have fun or enjoy myself. He constantly tells me how I do not pay enough attention to him/do not boost his confidence enough. I have no idea how to do that, he does not eider he just tells me I'm doing everything wrong. I am also doing sex wrong even trough he expects me to do all the work (no oral for me lol) and I have to suck his dick/ride or he gets all sad and shit and we're back to square one.
When we started going out I assumed he was this very confident dude since he acted hat way. As soon as I we started going out its like I'm his fucking mom. He is a little whimpering bitch all the fucking time and it drives me crazy. I walk on eggshells around this man to avoid his fucking horrific accusations of me 'ruining every piece of confidence he has ever had' which is bullshit and we both know it is. He does not cook well or clean and refuses to learn, he also assumes that when you have sex only the women has to be clean? Like he just Fucking enters with his Fucking shitturd breath attack.exe and breathes on me without a Fucking care in the world and when I point it out it waaaah waaaah the Fucking baby-man any has awoken Jesus Christ.
I am on my third year of an engineering degree so I'm pretty busy you know and so is he but Fucking noooooo I must pay homage to him and sacrafice my mouth to his dick every night as he plays fucking harthstone and does not do the work they I had already completed and handed in.
And he moans about it oh Jesus Christ the meaning oh god kill me just Fucking kill me being in a relationship with his guy feels like he biggest Fucking mistake of my life
I may come back to this and vent more
I explicitly said United States, but I'd believe you when you say that's the case for Europe.
I'm just salty because Christian politicians are directly interfering with reproductive healthcare, privacy, and immigration standards for vetted individuals. The past few terroristic incidents were caused by white older males. Islam doesn't have much to do with our problems here.
dump him numbnut, he sounds like an immature piece of shit
have some self-respect, there are plenty of guys that would clean and not whine constantly
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I want a really racist white separatist female friend. I'm so lonely, and I want a companion who shares the same beliefs as me. Every girl I talk to is either extremely liberal or extremely normie or both. I'm afraid no other female I can get into contact with would tolerate my extremism. It's social suicide to admit that I want to deport all non-whites and revoke women's suffrage.
It might even sound like a troll now, but I'm serious. I have no social life outside of a few acquaintances and family. I want a bff I can really open up to and connect with, but I'm pretty much blacklisted from finding meaningful relationships.
>>182151>So you want to be put on a pedestal for the color of your skin
No. I do not feel that my race is superior to anyone else's, but that each race is different and are happiest among themselves. It's more that I wish to have sovereignty. There is no refuge from multiculturalism in western countries, and whites are undeniably dying breed globally. I have concerns for the future of my people. It's not unnatural.>taking the easiest path in life via always having to follow orders without ever having to think for yourself?
I don't know why you'd think I think that. I don't need to be able to vote to be capable of thought and reflection. It's precisely because I have weighed of the consequences of universal suffrage that I came to this conclusion. >Carve out a life for yourself instead of hoping a life is made for you.
I do have a life I have made for myself, I only wish I had friends.
>>182155>I do not feel that my race is superior to anyone else's
Then why'd you ask for a "racist" friend? Being a racist literally means you view races as superior to others.
It's called the rural south. You can find lots of companionship with rural blue collar white people but there's a reason they stay and a reason why you better conform to their ideals and not be a freak in any way.
>I don't need to be able to vote to be capable of thought and reflection.
But you'd be taking away your voice. And that would be convenient up until people start making laws and lording over your person that you don't like.
Are you American? If so, I'm honestly curious – is it not hypocritical to want to deport non-whites when white Americans are not natives to the land, either? Also, you say there's no refuge from multiculturalism in Western countries – what about those of us who are non-white but born and raised in America and for all intents and purposes are NOT multicultural?
Also if you could outline why you don't believe women should vote I'd be interested in hearing it.
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>>182158>Then why'd you ask for a "racist" friend?
It's the easiest and most relocatable terminology. I can say "race realist", if you'd like. It doesn't really change what the average person thinks of someone who doesn't cow-tow to the multicultural narrative.>It's called the rural south.
I'm sad to say that logistically it would be impossible for me to make any friends there.>>182159
Yes, I am American. WASP with ancestors who fought in the revolutionary war.>is it not hypocritical to want to deport non-whites when white Americans are not natives to the land, either?
Sure, depending on your ideology. I do think that it was an injustice to the natives, what the settlers did, and also to black slaves. It doesn't stop me from advocating for the interests of my own group, however. Non-whites who have moved in recently advocate for their own ethnic interests, and they have replaced the natives, as well. I don't want to get wrapped up in racial guilt, because it only leads to weakness and confusion.>what about those of us who are non-white but born and raised in America and for all intents and purposes are NOT multicultural?
Multi-racialism is still the issue, in fact, race is a bigger hurdle to unification than culture. All races generally possess different physical and mental characteristics and capabilities, and produce different kinds of societies. I prefer the culture that whites have created and maintained. If whites become a minority, the culture will change permanently and irrevocably.
You could argue that what was done to the American natives was horrible- they were a people who lost their sovereignty and their culture and were usurped by a foreign one. Their numbers dwindled as another group took their place in hegemony over the American continent. If it is seen as an atrocity to do this to their racial group, is it not appropriate that I would feel bad if a similar situation were happening to my group, whether or not they "deserved" it?
>why you don't believe women should vote I'd be interested in hearing it.
Societies should be run as if masculinity was the foundation. All great societies were ran and maintained by great men. Masculinity is what should be promoted for the nation as a governing body. Pride, empiricism, duty, bravery, are all very masculine traits. I know there are women who possess these traits but they are a scant minority, especially since even men have a hard time living up to these standards. I do not have a problem with women, and I don't think they are inferior, I just think they are different and not suitable for politics and war. Women are by far more emotionally driven, more nurturing, and more caring. These are things which must be driven from politics, since it only leads to weakness. Other, more masculine cultures will infiltrate and overthrow a more weak feminine one. You are seeing this now with political Islam.
I believe that nature governs all things on earth, including the various races and both sexed. Forced equality is against nature and only causes struggle, strife, and conflict. It is best for all humans to work in the confines of the natural order than to blatantly defy it, for what gain? No one has ever given me an answer.
I'm not really a hateful person, I just feel like the world is unraveling and there's not many people who can see obvious truths our ancestors new for thousands of years. Maybe our recent generations just took it for granted and lost their way.
If you're interested I can list you a few books and public figures I admire.
oh my god anon this actually made me laugh a little. i would love to be your friend and listen to you rant. i also know this.
i know females mature faster than males but when i was way younger i still had chores to do. it's ridiculous how childish men are these days. so many women end up being their second mothers because they have a huge ego and think they can do no wrong and that they shouldn't have to do things because theyre either a. men or b. think theyre above those tasks and/or you
you seem like you can do better. i know you prob love him and you're only mentioning the shit things but honestly you could probably find a way better guy doing much less. oral every night is pretty much every man's dream
if anything, find someone else. It's not like you can't go almost anywhere and find good cybersex.
Thinking the same. Talking of women as "they" instead of "we".
Tbh, racial purity is not a thing (where do you draw the line? Can Scottish people mix with people from the Spanish south?) so I'm just going to have babies with someone of a different race. Have the guy already, just need to stop taking birth control. Not trying to decimate the number of white people, just living my life.
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How am I a troll? Can you argue any of my points? Is it impossible to believe that I prefer to live around my own people and want what is best for them? That's how our species was for thousands of years, it's only up until very recently that multiracialism became a focus of western democracies.>>182212
I'm not a man, why would you think that? Do all women have to have the same opinions to you?>>182222
White people are people with predominant ancestry in Europe. You can take a genetic test to prove you are white, so it's not like an abstract concept. It's not that hard to understand. Constant subdivision is just another way to muddy the water. I understand that there are ethnic differences between Europeans, but we should all act as allies in the struggle against non-whites. That being said, I don't have a problem with different ethnicities of whites mixing, but it can be harmful if taken to the extreme. It would be very sad if somehow the entire population of Denmark was replaced by Poles. You would fundamentally lose Danish culture, and the Danish people. On a individual level I don't see a problem, however.
I do think it is a crime against nature for very different races to create offspring, like an east Asian mixing with an aboriginal. The child usually has a confused and troubled identity and health problems. Mixed race children are more prone to schizoid disorders and depression. I would prefer if they didn't have to be born.
I think you're misunderstanding why I would prefer it if women were not able to vote. It's not some sort of masochistic urge, it's out of my own self interest and preservation of the society I live in.
Women tend to have destructive voting patterns. They treat the government like a patriarch and use it to divvy out benefits to themselves and to their preferred causes (which is now multiracialism). This instinct is not a bad thing when applied to the right places, but these patterns will undoubtedly cause the weakening of a nation. Women should care for their children, their family, nature, the arts, any hobby that allows an outlet for their nurturing instincts, but not politics.
It is undeniably true (this has been studied)women are far less happy in the spaces once considered to be for men. Women are the most happy being at home instead of involving themselves in the global market or politics.
It's only because I want what is best for women and for my country that I have came to this conclusion. I am completely mentally sound, would you say that every human being before the 19th amendment were not "mentally sound?"?>>182253
>>182254>Women tend to have destructive voting patterns.
Like what?>inb4 multiculturalism
Why do you assume only women want multiculturalism?
Do you even know what happened to a nationalist, populist government whose agenda it was to preserve white heritage under a patriarchal ruler that subordinated women to the domestic sphere? Ever hear of some dude called Hitler and all the destruction he caused for his people based on emotional and irrational decisions?>women are far less happy in the spaces once considered to be for men
You mean like colleges and the ability to transport themselves without male escorts? And your source is?
>>182245>The child usually has a confused and troubled identity
Because of how others treat them. It's not an inherent thing.>and health problems.
IIRC only one study ever claimed this, and it was still a stretch because of the shitty sample size and isolated area of the study.>I would prefer if they didn't have to be born.
Many people would also prefer if incels and Dylann Roof types wouldn't have to be born, and they're a lot worse than most mixed race people in literally every way so I'd say they're the real crimes against nature lol
My bff's dog of 13 years I basically grew up with, died today at 5 am.
I've just seen him yesterday, that wasn't even in the plans. I haven't seen him for years, and I insisted to see him yesterday. I knew he had a tumor, since a couple of weeks. My friend asked me if I wanted to see him in these days since now she knew it was uncertain how long would he have lived, and I insisted to do it yesterday. We took him to the pet shop to take a bath, he was lively. Then we brought him home, he started puking for two times and then started stumbling and falling on the floor when moving, as if he was really tired. My friend said the same thing happened two weeks ago, the vet said that this happening once in a while was a good thing because if he were a young dog it would have happened on a daily basis. It gave me some hope.
But this afternoon I turned the phone on and I saw the message from my friend.
It's so sad. And also so weird. I've been feeling weird during the whole night, and the whole morning. I had a weird feeling on, as if I was expecting it even though it was reeeally unlikely to happen. I'm glad I said him goodbye, but it's so hard to accept. I still can feel his freshly bathed fur through my fingers as I cuddled him, and his sweet sad puppy eyes looking at me.
I think I'm too emotional to ever own a dog, if a dog that's not even mine can hurt me so much.
I'm still so utterly sad about it, it's pissing me off to no other. Someone who I was good friends with started bullying me, but extremely hard for "copying" her, as in buying a ps4, although this isn't my first ps4, she accused me of copying her and bullied me all the way, she took my profile picture from Facebook and ruined my image, making fun of my appearance, calling me names, even her mum thought I was pathetic, and she showed me it. I did the right thing and I refused to get dragged in, but the fact that at the age of 20, you'd bully someone, especially when they said themselves that they were bullied throughout high school, just for a fucking console. It's pathetic, I cried non stop, and I'm still sad about it.
You'd get sick of it real quick anon. It's only fun as a hobby because it's a hobby.
If you had to eat pancakes every day for the rest of your life you'd get sick of them in a few weeks and never want to look at them again.
agreed. just keep on with art on the side, not saying you cant try and make money off of it but just make sure that before it becomes lucrative you have something to fall back on. Is it that youre just sick of the job you have? Try shaking it up with something in a different field.
I did retail for years and felt the same way. I was trying to find anything creative that I could bank on, turns out it was much harder than I thought. But I do online sales for MtG cards now and turns out I'm super great at what I do and now working a lot isn't really as grindy as it was before.
don't lose the passion. it could become that art is another job and you lose the same feeling towards it if you have to churn it out.
Rather than dreaming about dropping everything and focusing on art, see instead if you can successfully work on it weekends and evenings. If you do art full time, you don't get weekends or downtime so you might as well get used to that. Cut down your paid working hours to the minimal if possible.
If you can maintain a focused work pattern and generate enough of an income from your time making art whilst doing your dayjob, then you can consider it full time. If it's what you want to do be doing, then don't daydream about it, just do it.I learnt the hard way that I'm not capable of that sleep/eat/art lifestyle, you need to be either very driven or very lucky for it. You have to be able to work even if you don't feel 'inspired', too.
Alternatively, look at jobs abroad. If you're not bothered about career progression from now then go be somewhere exciting, lots of positions geared to young workers abroad offer limited pay but exciting life experiences
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I told my boss I'd cover for a shift I didn't think I'd have to. This morning I am told I need to do the thing I told them I would offer to do. My reaction: vindication. This new "talk yourself out of negative thoughts" thing does work well though, so I've essentially compromised with myself and agreed to go buy expensive Thai food to make up for what I thought would be a day off.
So maybe not a vent, just me coming to terms with having to not be a lil' bitch.
Responding line by line to the whole post like that always reeks of autismo, also MUH ELOQUENT GENTLEMENT ART AM ENLIGHTENED
I wish you could hide posters on this site>>182369
That 20 year old's childish behaviour was good news for you, now you're free of having to be their friend. As an adult you should be able to get over it without crying for a whole night>>182111
Don't "come back and vent more", just dump him!
If he's not threatening you with violence or blackmail or anything else I can't even imagine why anyone would pander to this baby. Literally why? You don't owe anyone sex, ever. You don't owe that guy anything PERIOD
Respectfully, don't think I'd get sick of it. It's all I did during high school. For for years it was my entire life. I know it's "just a hobby," but it's something I'm really happy throwing myself into. >>182539
I'm not trying to make a job out of it. I'm not trying to make money out of it. I want to do it because I love it.>>182544
Thanks. But I also go to school full time, so essentially working part time at a real job and part time at art means that I would just end up "working" full time. Which is why I don't want to work a real job.
Basically, this is all just going to remain a dream. Thanks anyway guys.
If you're young then you should probably invest more into school/education/courses/seminars/volunteering/hobbies etc.
Maybe even look into therapy or take up running or any other physical activity. (Helped a shit ton with managing my depression)
I know being a cam girl is tempting and looks easy af but it's actually a lot of work, you don't make that much and like you said, it could screw you over. A lot of these camming sites don't have "protection" so anyone can use a screen recording software and upload your session anywhere.
Why don't you try running outside or lifting? Maybe change the machine you're using? Instead of running do biking? Or the other way around? You can also do hiit or body weight workouts that will also make you sweat.
I'm the exact opposite of you, I loath cardio lol (will have to start running eventually bc stamina and shit :/)
I used to be a camgirl and honestly the money isn't that great. It's great for what it is - sitting around chatting with people and getting naked, but unless you're like amazingly beautiful with an incredible personality, it's not a living wage.
Also the camming industry has changed a lot. It used to be much easier to make money but now everyone and their mom is doing it, it's oversaturated. Sure you sometimes see girls that make ridiculous amounts of money - but most of it isn't real. They literally pay people to pay them those massive amounts publicly so they look popular.
Things like private cam shows aren't a thing anymore either, you're expected to do it all in public where even guests can see everything, you rely on tips from your regulars. Which you don't have when you first start, so you're doing it for free. It's really shit.
If you're willing to get naked for money, consider stripping. If you work far away and make an effort to look different enough so that no one recognizes you for sure, you can make much better money even if you're not that cute.
This. I was a camgirl a few years ago, and kind of sort of dabble in it (mostly people offering money for old content) and back then if I busted my ass and really really tried hard and got lucky enough to get people to want to cam with me, I would rake in about $50-$60 dollars a day.
Not to mention, one day you might do good and earn $80, but then your profile will be dry as fuck for 3 days. You can get some good money, but its not going to be consistent good money. And thats if you really put effort into it all.
He sounds like he's genuinely busy, in which case your pressuring him into a relationship probably isn't helping matters. I'm a busy person too and having an SO at the same time is hard because they constantly pull your sleeve and demand attention/sex/dates, birthdays and anniversaries. I don't mind those things on their own but it can get really annoying when you're trying to concentrate on doing well in school.
Either that or he's just leading you on, in both cases I'd say it's best to just look elsewhere.
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>not attending class this semester
>classmates talk about one class in our promotion's facebook group
>say it sounds like an interesting class
>they get offended and angry
I've been through enough of these to confidently say that he's just leading you on. Too busy is always an excuse for "I'm not interested but you're cool enough to be my backup", which explains the on and off communication you guys have.
Do move on. If he was really interested, he'd make time. Guaranteed.
Yeah and I realised I've been the only one messaging first :/
I guess I should give up
Seconded. Guys make up the most absurd excuses when they're simply not interested.
There was one time a guy told me "I would date you but we live too far from each other, I'm not into LDRs" and I was literally 10 km away from his town.
There's no such a thing as "being busy" if you're genuinely interested in someone, guaranteed.
There, there anon. I totally emphatize with you and I wish I could hug you then kick the guy in the nuts for you for being such a dirt bag. If you feel really down about it, I like to remember this quote:
"In life you'll meet a lot of jerks. If they hurt you, tell yourself that it's because they're stupid. That will help keep you from reacting to their cruelty. Because there is nothing worse than bitterness and vengeance… Always keep your dignity and be true to yourself."
You'll find a guy who is better and nicer and who will actually make time for you, and it'll be worth it.
I also showed our texts to my friend and they said that he doesn't really put effort into our conversations and he seems like he's not interested
Ughhhhh heart hurts
i'm going through the exact same thing anon, i've loved a guy for many many years and its gotten hardly anywhere. always tells me he's busy in some way or form, and i can tell he doesn't put much in the conversation, and if i didn't message him first, i would never hear from him. i've known for a long time it wasn't worth it, i would always give him excuses and believe him "maybe he really is busy…" "he works full time time.." stuff like that. but the simplest solution is usually the right one, if he wanted to be with you, he would be. reading these messages really stung today :(
idk anon. i hope you and i can find someone who actually wants to be with us one day. sorry to be so dramatic, this just hit me a little hard.
this is going to be long, i'm sorry:
for the past two and some years i've lived in a house shared by my bf, me, and his two brothers (being laid off and pretty poor forced us out of our apt at a bad time).
they have two dogs, a large blue heeler and a little samoyed.
the brothers neglected the fuck out of those dogs, they were left outside from 8:30am to 10pm, sometimes even til 1am and for context i live in the snowy north and this happened year round. then when the dogs were let in, they were caged up in a small hallway in front of my door. two dogs in a 9x3 space.
i am not on great terms with the brothers so me speaking out or criticizing how they took care of ( or didn't) their animals would have caused furious drama we didn't need, but i did bring up my concerns with their mother, because i'm friendly with her. it was waved off mostly, so i didn't bring it up much after. so the dogs are neglected and unloved, never getting physical contact except when i sat down to pet them and talk to them. their life sucks.
back in october the blue heeler got sick with i assume was pneumonia; wet rattly cough, gagging, producing mucus and saliva. she had a really really rough time, and i desperately wanted her to go to the vet. my bf and i couldn't afford to do it, and the brothers weren't willing too. so she suffered for months, and the cough started to dry out, but her breathing was labored and harsh and got worse over time. weeks ago i had to bring it up to their mother and she said "you know, she's old and taking her in to get diagnosed would cost a lot only to have them tell us to put her down. not really worth the cost" i was taken aback, but told her it would still be best to take her in. the younger brother has money from an inheritance, he could've done this for the dog. i personally wanted them to give her up to a no-kill to get treatment or to be humanely put down.
regardless she suffered, but had moments of getting better. she was already a sick dog, getting seizures they never bothered to diagnose or treat, so i thought she was toughing it out. that didn't last long and she got worse, and the past few weeks she had been sitting up, unable to breathe or sleep, her belly bloated, her in distress.
she died this morning after a few seizures and deaths throes. i heard it as i was cleaning, i thought they were her normal seizures. the brothers were upstairs, where they could see and help her, watching tv. she made a hard fall and i thought she had regained herself but when i listened through the door i heard the younger brother say "well it was bound to happen."
it wasn't immediately clear to me what that meant, so i went about my business, more wary however. when i stepped out a few hours later the hallway was bare and mopped and i didn't hear the harsh breathing i normally would. i knew she was gone. the brother's(who has said in the past he refused to give her up) last words about this poor animal was "it was bound to happen" that's it.
i'm upset and bitter and angry and i want them to burn. there's still the samoyed for them to neglect and let suffer. i wanted to do the things they refused to, but i couldn't and i hate myself for it.
she deserved better, she deserved a loving home with people who wanted to be around her, not just lock her away and let her slowly suffocate to death.
the samoyed won't run away, it has opportunities to all the time. it knows it's routine outside to the yard and back into the upstairs hallway. that's all he cares about.
a few years ago the mother bought tiny fragile, most likely puppy farmed, teacup chihuahua. she lets the dog eat chicken bones and she never trained her so she barks a lot. to get her to stop, she screams at it.
i hate them so much. my family went above and beyond for our family pets and seeing this shit makes my blood boil.
after this disaster tho, i will be speaking frankly to the mother, letting her know exactly how disgusted i am.
and by " won't run away" i mean it wouldn't convince the brothers if i absconded with it and gave that excuse. no one in the neighborhood or surrounding ones like this household, they let the dog(s) bark all day so it "being stolen" is also a no.
sorry i wasn't clear.
~Animal control took them? Neighbours complained you didn't call them.
~It had a seizure or are something poisonous in the yard and died, you got rid of the body.
~Guy was walking a female in heats and he followed, So crazy he never does that!
Idk just suggestions. The brothers and mother are seriously awful people. Hope you don't have to interact with them again after you can move out. Sucks that his family are a bunch of pricks.
thanks for the suggestions, i'll mull it over and discuss it with my bf.
when i'm gone i will never see the brother again and they can rot in this shithole. the mother lives most of the year in another state so i rarely see her anyway. >>182665
i know, but the fear of being kicked out and becoming homeless kept me from retaliating against their cruelty. not a good excuse…but idk.
it does have a doghouse with heating pad inside along with food and water. there's no obvious signs of neglect, so i'll just bring this up with the mother like i mentioned here >>182659
i don't know what they did with her body. i'm really scared they just put her in the trash bin or just wrapped her up in a garbage bag and put her outside for the time being. it's cold enough to preserve her body.
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i hate social media. i have no friends and i'm not attractive, its useless to me. my gf loves the worst social media things like instagram, snapchat, facebook, and what not. i hate all those sites. her instagram is private and i don't understand how to use snapchat so i can't see what she's posting there.
all i can see is her facebook posts, which get many likes and are basically garbage. the only things that i have in my facebook are things related to our relationship, hers is filled with shitty tumblr gifs and shitposting.
i'm starting to realize that her political beliefs are quite different from mine (i won't get into details cuz i know the thread will go to shit). and she's the type of dumb normie girl that i've always hated (i hate the word normie but its the only word that describes it… maybe basic would be fitting? i'm not sure). its so stupid but seeing any of her posts on social media make me rage because they remind me of how different we truly are.
i know i shouldn't care what my girlfriend does on social media. i know that jealousy is bad. but she literally refuses to talk to me about her problems or whats going on with her life. but she has no issue telling strangers on the internet about her problems (she would rant on insta before she made it private. i would't be surprised if she still does).
i know you all probably think "well so what she's happy and posts a lot on social media? what you want her to be miserable and have no friends like you"? and y'all would be right. like??? i'm just so bitter lol i hate myself
Work as much as you can anon, but when it gets to the final week don't be afraid to borrow money. Preferably from friends/family rather than a terrible loan company, but just get it paid off, and as soon as you are registered then start busting your ass to pay it back. Contact your student welfare team.>>182671
If there is even the slightest bit of hardship for that dog and you won't take it away yourself, you should contact a shelter as an anonymous tipster. If it's barking all the time and it's clear the other one died from coughing, then that's enough for a stranger to have noticed. Also if the body is lying out there you should report asap and mention that too, it adds weight.>>182695
Set her free
What kind of sociopaths are those guys? I'm mad as fuck just reading this. Animal abuse makes me fucking angry. You really must be a sociopath to not feel even an ounce of affection and compassion towards your own dogs. The heeler could've been saved or put down earlier saving her the pain.
Regarding the samoyed… I love samoyeds, I'd take him right away but I'm not in the right situation now and we 100% live in different countries, lol. But you could take care of him? Or as >>182656
said, just take him without telling them and drop him off at a humane shelter, or give it in adoption to someone. Or report the brothers' ass for animal abuse.
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I think i'm becoming a female incel.
>> Just got out of HS and have no idea how to follow. Everyone my age has their lives made.
>> Socially akward, probably haves the 'tism.
>> Hates self. It's hard to shower because i have to look at my body.
>> Literally looks digusting but don't know what to do because mirrors and not having sister, friends and a mother who never used make up in her life.
>> Literally never had a friend in my life for more than a year.
>> Would sell my soul for living like "the normies".
>> Bullied in middle school. Still have the feeling that people are judging my looks all the time.
>> Goes outside only if absolutely necessary.
>> Kissless handholdless virgin that lives with parents.
I think the only difference is that i try to be a kind and good person, and that my politics are moderate.
I'm sorry anon
But seeing that there's a problem is always the first step, or something like that. You just have to work on yourself. Yes it's difficult but not impossible.
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Lets be autists together, anon.
I think i could get along with incels if they weren't pedos misogynistics murder-advocates pricks.
do you mean that you are also disgusted by yourself? That would mean that i won't be cured even if i got a "normie" and married.
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i had a crush on this one guy, and for the first time in my life i think i had finally found a guy or even a person within my social circle who i made a connection with, even if it was based on just general interests. he figured out that i had feelings for him pretty quickly, and he turned me down, saying he didn't have the same feelings for me. it's been like 2 months since the fact and i'm still incredibly upset. this is gonna sound stupid, but i had spent so much time thinking about him and wanting him that ultimately i'm sad that i'll never be with the person who i finally had genuine interest in. and it fucking sucks to be in a semi social circle with him considering he messages my friends and seems to really like one of them. i keep compring myself to them and i can see that he'd rather want someone who's small and more attractive than i am.
it seriously fucking sucks and i can't stop thinking about him. when i'm on break and not walking by him every other day then i seem to slowly stop being concerned. but as of now it just really bothers me. and everyone around me is going "get over it lol", but they have no idea that i'm incredibly lonely, and that something like this completely wrecks me.
what the fuck do i do
Holy shit i was waiting for someone to say this.
The problem is that i know that.
Just because they are pretty, smart, short and skinny and already know what to do with their lives, haves lot of friends, aren't disgusted with themselves and have a supporting family. I know they are just people we all are just people, but when i am in front of someone like that i feel like they have so many things that i don't; that i'm missing so many things that are common for them.
I also know that just because they know what career path to follow, that doesn't mean they will succeed.
I know that i'm just a human, but it just doesn't feel like it.
I was rejected too many times, i got told to kill myself even so it doesn't feel like i should be alive.
>> tfw you make yourself cry.
>>182749>already know what to do with their lives
They're high school graduates. It doesn't matter what they think they're going to do with their lives, the fact is they're likely to change and go through periods of self-doubt and insecurities. You're judging them at face value without actually knowing them or what's going on behind the scenes.
I'm sure there are people out there who assume the same about you because if you're not airing your life story and problems on social media these days, people tend to assume everything is fine and that you have a plan.
That makes sense. If you don't want to read me attention-seeking please stop reading right now.
It's a feeling, and then a chain reaction that comes along with thoughts. It's not really rational, but it makes sense all the time.
>> People assuming i live easily.
Literally never happens. I look and feel disgusting most of the time. In HS i used to get asked if i was sick or needed to sleep, but it's just who i am. I almost never smile.
>> Other people also have problems.
Not the same. I'm sure average-looking people never felt like they can't stand their own self.They are always easy laughing.
I really want to stop being and feeling like i do, i just don't know how to start. I need a guide to make a strict plan or i'm not going anywhere. I don't want to be me anymore.
I don't know who you are and you sure as hell don't know me, but listen. From reading your posts, I am seeing a lot of myself from 2-3 years ago in 'em and it's hard to read because I know roughly what it is you're feeling.
Take it from the other anon: no one has their shit together. Anyone who thinks you have an easy life are probably just projecting and wanting something to vent their own frustrations on. We often deny other people's successes, no matter how minuscule, when our own lives are in the shit. So please just ignore them.
In regards to the self image problems, I can almost certainly guarantee that everyone has these thoughts. And that's not me belittling the vicious thoughts you're having about your own self image (mentally and physically). I understand that. It's only been recently that I can look at myself in the mirror without wanting to do awful things to what I see.
You just need to break the chain. Cut off the obsessive cycle of thoughts before they even have chance to grow. It really is easier said than done but I believe you can do it as you've got the awareness to realise there's something not right here. A lot of people don't have the mind to see that and are happily living their life with a distorted sense of self worth.
It will take time and there will be set backs (which you're totally allowed btw! Progress is full of them) but you've got this. Start fresh. Try new hobbies. Speak to new people even if you're shaking like jello on the inside. Anything to make life fresh again and eventually you will start to build that confidence up and the rest will come after.
I am sorry if I have rambled at you or haven't made much sense, but I do sincerely hope that I've helped even just a tiny bit and that tomorrow starts better for you.
Thanks anon. I'm glad that things are working for you.
I only disagree in that not everyone is like us. I think they might be something wrong with how my mind works and how i see myself.
Having a job is literally a routine like school, except that you get paid. I think i could do it alright. Then i should get professional help.
Really just crying and talking about it made me feel relieved.
I don't think i could overcome all my problems by trying to be confident.
X-post from the abuse thread on /g/ but, it works here too right?
I'm really fucked up right now. Yesterday was supposed to be a chill day and I ended up telling my boyfriend and mom that I think I was abused as a kid by my stepdad.
I say think, because for the life of me I don't remember my childhood that well… Only bits and pieces and I only really remember highschool up. Yesterday I felt so relieved to say something but now I'm doubting myself. My stepdad did some shit but, I don't remember him like this and I feel so guilty for even thinking like this.
But in a weird way it makes sense because what I do remember was weird… I was weirdly sexual as a kid, I played with dolls till like I was around twelve and my favorite thing to do was pretend they where fucking. I'd decapitate them, take their faces off with nail polish and I even had a cabbage patch kid which I wrote "sex" all over. I still have that doll and it's the only real "evidence" I have.
When I got into highschool I'd let guys finger me in the hallways and empty classrooms, I jerked a guy off in the woods and the cops told us to leave, I used to drink vodka when I got home early and my stepdad never said anything about it, plus I'm a pothead (I was high when I accidentally told my boyfriend and he convinced me to tell my mom)
I've told both of them I'm not sure if it's even real, and I'm definitely not going to try and press charges or even figure out if this did happen.
Yesterday wasn't the only time this thought crossed my mind, the first time I felt it was like in December… TMI but I was in the car with my boyfriend going home one night and I could just feel a vaginal pain like nothing else. My mind flashed to my stepdad but I told myself I was just remembering the first time he taught me to ride a bike. I still believe that but, fuck I'm confused.
I googled repressed memories and I relate to quite a bit… the most noticable is the fact that I peed the bed till my late teens, after I knew I'd never see him again.
The worst part is that… for some reason I remember liking the "attention" I got.
Yesterday I felt so relieved to talk about it but now I feel guilty because, what if I lied and made everyone feel bad for nothing? Why would I even do this in the first place?
The memories I had yesterday where so fucking vivid and now I can't remember anything at all.
Someone plz tell me it was the weed.
That's okay. And you're right, not everyone has the same mind as you but mine feels similar in that I too have very critical thoughts about myself but they are getting better now. Maybe see if there is someone you could talk to professionally?
I forgot to mention that I attended cognitive behavioural therapy too and I found that helped loads when I was at my worst. I am not sure if that is available to you?
Oh don't get me wrong, confidence doesn't fix everything and I am not implying it does. Just sometimes I feel that putting yourself in a new situation can help. Please look after yourself. <3
honestly it sounds like you were definitely sexually abused and you should go to therapy, not just to talk about it but to handle it properly.
i don't think you have anything to feel guilty over. it is common for sexual abuse survivors to convince themselves they wanted it or it did not happen because it is easier than admitting something as traumatizing as molestation happened to you as a child.
i think the fact you've told someone means subconsciously you want to process what happened and finally heal.
But I'm just really scared I'm wrong. I mean it just feels wrong to even say it out loud :/
I feel so guilty to think about it… Guilt than I'm relieved… And that I'm not really that mad that this happened, if it did.
I don't even know why I'm so nervous and guilty because it's not like I want to press charges or even talk to him again. But I can't bring myself to fully believe anything because I don't remember anything
i plan to let it be know that it is in fact illegal (i had to check my state and county) to withhold medical attention from an animal in need and if it happens again, i will call someone.
I did find out the next day that while the whereabouts of her body is unknown, they decided to bury her in the backyard.
it sounds sentimental, but i know that it's the easy, free, nearby solution. the cunts.>>182722
they're really terrible people. neither has a job and the older one is nearing 40 years old, they both just live off the younger ones freemoneycode. they play video games and watch tv all day and sleep. my hatred for them is palpable, so i make a point to never let them see me or be around me. if worse comes to worst i'll snatch the dog and take it to a shelter. full stop.
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Sigh. Sometimes I just hate myself so much. It's been 11 months and here I am still feeling sad over my breakup and missing my ex. I've done my best to get over things, but I simply can't. Dunno why. I spent some time alone, then got involved with another person for a while, lost weight, thought a lot about my life, cried, etc. but I AM STILL SUFFERING SO BADLY. I know I will, eventually, move on for real but… yeah.
This was basically me 7 years ago.
1. Get into therapy to work on your social issues. Not doing this is my number 1 regret.
2. Don't go to college yet. Get a a job, work for a year or two. My parents forced me into college right out of high school when I wasn't ready and had no idea what I wanted to do, and all it did was set me up for failure. If you do eventually go to college, ask your professors about where to start looking for internships. I can not stress how important internships are for not only figuring out what exactly you want to do but for getting hired in the future.
3. I'm going to be 100% honest with you. For some people it doesn't get better. There are people who end up alone, who end up losers with dead end jobs, who live shitty, miserable lives. I'm not saying you're one of them, and this period of your life is the best chance you have to wind up not that way. But it is a possibility, and some of it isn't even your fault, though many people will tell you it is. If it comes to that point, the only advice I can offer is that it's the little things that will get you through the day.
If you're fine with vocab and grammar, then you'll most likely pass the class. The issue is, are you learning?
Don't worry about the disparities because some people are great at reading, writing, and remembering kanji (esp the Chinese people who already read/write Mandarin), some people are more comfortable speaking, and some people are really good at listening.
Focus on the content, and be honest with yourself. IMO, if you're catching up quickly, then you're most likely just fine where you are.
With Japanese classes it's either like this or spend 8 weeks on learning kana it seems.
You should keep going Anon. Maybe do some extra listening on the side - watch some animu or drama for example.
There's a japanese language thread in the catalog if you want to discuss it, too.
Thank you for taking the time to reply anon.
>The issue is, are you learning?
I definitely am, and I feel like I'm consolidating things better as well since I have classmates to practice with now. I'm just worried I'm learning a little too much. We did a listening and read the script, but I had to look up a few grammar points I didn't know. I can't tell if I'm being challenged a healthy amount or if I'm seriously behind. Our Japanese department is notoriously wayward as well.
>Focus on the content, and be honest with yourself. IMO, if you're catching up quickly, then you're most likely just fine where you are.
Thanks anon, I hope you're right. Outside of my experiences with my classmates I understand 70~80% of what's going on, which I think is do-able? >>182827
I appreciate the reply, thank you anon.
>With Japanese classes it's either like this or spend 8 weeks on learning kana it seems.
I swear it's never been like this in any other language class I've taken, is there something about Japanese classes?
>You should keep going Anon. Maybe do some extra listening on the side - watch some animu or drama for example.
Does animu/dramu watching with subs really help? I've always had some doubt about it but my listening is my worst, so I'm probably wrong for doubting it.
>>182840>is there something about Japanese classes?
I think there's some sort of wall due to the grammar and culture being very different. I feel like you need to get used to reading or hearing a lot, even if you don't understand, before it starts making sense - at least it was like that for me. For a while I'd translate random stuff without any idea what I was doing and then when taking actual classes it came almost naturally to me.
In my opinion in Japanese practicing is the most important thing, but it might be different for you.
Also a big issue with Japanese classes is that they're often taught by Japanese teachers using Japanese methods - learn all the grammar and then do exercises, without ever building your own sentences, always using example sentences. I think all my Japanese teachers were shit, and when I got a japanese language teacher who wasn't Japanese it was incredible. So yeah there's that maybe.
>Does animu/dramu watching with subs really help?
Yes, definitely. Maybe also trying to watch an episode without subs and then with subs to see what you understood.
I watch a lot of anime and have been listening to basically only Japanese music for the last 6 years or so (been a weeb for a while) and listening/talking are my forte. Then again it might be different for you. But I'd recommend watching anime/drama or learning songs.
But in general it's a bit weird to doubt that, getting immersed in material in the language you're learning is a common recommendation no matter the language.
>>182841>In my opinion in Japanese practicing is the most important thing, but it might be different for you.
I agree, I used to do translations for random stuff like you and it did help for other languages. I don't know why I feel intimidated by Japanese specifically, but I guess I'm not helping myself by shirking away from it.
>Also a big issue with Japanese classes is that they're often taught by Japanese teachers using Japanese methods
That was one of the biggest complaints I've heard from people who took this class. We have a 'flipped' system where we learn grammar at home and then do exercises in class. The teachers essentially tell us to do an exercise and stand around watching us do it. I've learnt more from talking to classmates than from teachers so far.
>But in general it's a bit weird to doubt that, getting immersed in material in the language you're learning is a common recommendation no matter the language.
It is weird, I don't know why I thought that. Thanks for all the advice and reading my complaints anon, you guys have really motivated me to work harder on my moon runes. Now I'll have something better to do than flashcards on my commute.
It's really not. If you had the same environment as a child learning a language you'd basically learn the same way. Adults are either smart about learning a language and get quicker results than children or they're not as smart, don't want to speak because they're ashamed or whatever, fall back on their other languages and will be slow as fuck. >>182823
If you're fine with the contents of the course there's no need to take an easier one.
If you can, watch variety shows. They usually have most stuff subtitled in Japanese.
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after two months going steady and weighing 20lbs less than in dec, i binged ike a pig today. i feel like shit even though i know i will eat properly tomorrow. fuck. i always do that when im on my period, its like i cant control myself.
Make sure you and any classmates have evidence of contacting the professor with no response e.g. phone records, dated emails, right up until office closure hours. Just in case.>>182902
Stop feeling sad about it and own that shit, do a bunch of exercise as a penalty(light exercise actually helps with periods anyway) to balance out some of the binge and get right back to eating healthily asap. Don't waste your time crying over being human, two months is a great achievement, now start again and see if you can beat it.
I did. But he said it's kind of dumb to ask. Will probably do it again because idk.
Yea, he's like that too. But I really hate seeing him be disappointed or sad because he does expect a gift…it's a bit complicated.
Well,I'm sorry but he's kind of an ass then. How are you supposed to guess what he wants if he doesn't tell you? You don't get to be disappointed that your gf is not a mind teller..
Anyway, maybe then opt for an experience instead of an object? A restaurant? Two tickets to a movie he wants to see?
Not gonna debate that because he sure can be…and childish sometimes.
I wish, but he works 12 hour shifts mostly so I can't really plan ahead :/ But thank you for the suggestions, I'll figure something out (:
Imho x is way "understanding" because he doesn't actually value your relationship , and if t is still anything like he was when you left him, then he's not worth dating either.
Neither of them sound like dreamboats, stop putting men on pedestals and actually just love yourself girl. You don't have to date every sad broken loser you meet out of duty, you aren't their mother.
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I think a guy who's older than my dad likes me. It feels so awkward. Fuuuuuuuck.
I just started working at this place 2 weeks ago, and he's been talking to me a little bit everyday. Yesterday he said "so do you take your boyfriend out a lot?" and I said no, I don't have one. Today he asked me if I wanted to go flea market hunting with him this weekend since I mentioned earlier that I did that sometimes. I felt too bad to say no. Arhhhggg why?! It feels even more awkward because most people think I'm about 16 when they first meet me. He has to be older than 45.
Anon, for me, can you milk that shit and have him be your sugar daddy?
Sincerely, ugly anon with no chance.
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Jontron is a thicc cutie. I don't know what you're on.
Maybe don't rent out your grandmothers property just because you're staying there and thought you could get some extra cash?
Especially if you're not prepared, or even able to keep a room clean let alone an entire house.
Honestly though you're a total shitbag for renting out your own grandmothers bedroom. Hope she kicks you out tbh.
Wow, aren't you a judgmental bitch? My parents bought the house for my grandma so she could have somewhere private to stay when she is here. The other 90% of the time, it's empty, so I thought I could help me and my parents out by taking care of the renting. Apparently that makes me a "shitbag" lmao
I think things are tidy but not spotless. Some people are chill with that, some aren't. I thought I could attract more people like me who like to travel casually but don't care for luxury options.
My solution is to investigate my renters more and try to weed out the non-chill ones first
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>>182989>My DADDY bought this house, you'd better watch out!
Lmao fuck off kid.
Uhhh yeah, why are you jumping to conclusions? They live down the road. I'm trying to rent this out to help make them earn some extra money and to compensate for the fact I'm staying on their property for free. Somehow everyone got the idea I'm renting it out behind people's backs. No, the renting payout goes straight to my parents' bank account. >>182995
Wow what a bad asset XD
Yeah, I actually do have a job, and I have been paying my parents back from it. And you are so trendy 'af" >>182998
Wow, you're a hard knock thug, you sure showed me. I thought this was the vent thread in general, not the vent thread only for the most tragic thug princesses like you. I never complained my life was difficult, I just wanted to vent about cleaning since I was feeling stressed out about it. Idk where the chip in your shoulder came from. But if you're good at keeping a spotless house then you should consider renting out on Air BNB anyways.
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I've been dating this guy for a few weeks, and it was going great and we were getting along really well. We had sex for the first time on Wednesday, and he woke up the next morning with a UTI. He just broke up with me because he was 'shocked that he caught an STD' even though I told him countless times that you can't 'catch' a UTI. And he was worried that since he got it the first time, that there would be 'too many problems' in the future.
Fuck my fucking life.
I doubt it because he's making a big deal about how it's NEVER happened to him before, and how he would think about me going off and having a whole bunch of sex with other guys. He literally thinks a UTI is an STD because his doctor told him (we aren't in North America, so the standard for medicine here isn't exactly the highest). He's been overreacting about it every since he go symptoms the next morning.
He still wants to be friends, so there would be no motivation to make me feel guilty for it. I honestly think he's just being brash and stupid.
Yeah, that's fishy as fuck. I'm still thinking it's a way to fuck you when he wants. You don't stay friends with people you're mad at because they gave you an std. I'm betting good money he's going to come back soon and tell you how he forgives you about it and that you should make it up to him (watch out for him 'revealing' to his friends you're a 'slut')
You really should cut contact with that guy,doesn't sound like a safe situation to me.
You can get UTIs from sex, but they're not really considered an STD, since you can get them from stuff like wiping back to front (getting ass germs into your cooter), holding your pee, having a catheter…
Sex is just one of multiple potential causes. They're much more common for women, though, much rarer in younger men. (Generally, men under 40 don't get them.) I would say that you could call it an STI (sexually-transmitted infection, as opposed to disease) in this case. This doesn't mean that anon's slutting it up, it just means that bacteria was transferred from her to him. (If that was even the case.)
Also, anon didn't say that she had a UTI, just that the guy did.
Anyway, my take on it is that this guy sounds pretty stupid and kinda scummy. Don't give in, anon!!
>>182970>I think a guy who's older than my dad likes me.
All men "like" you, i.e. all men want to fuck you. You just have pathetically low self-awareness and don't realize it. You believe that grown men have women they "like" in the same way that teenage girls have crushes on guys, the reality is that guy would have sex with any girl, you're nothing special.
This is not something specific to him, this is not because he's older, all men are like this.
He's just older and realizes that attempting to seduce you is the best choice, because the best case scenario is he gets to have sex, and the worst case scenario is that he gets rejected (who gives a shit). That is his mind set, younger guys tend to not think like this because they're afraid of rejection.>>183000
If she told you he was an attractive rich older man he wouldn't be a "creep".
Sexual attraction =/= romantic attraction. Pretty sure they were referring to the latter.
You sound like a rustled old slimeball
>>183016>Sexual attraction =/= romantic attraction. Pretty sure they were referring to the latter.
"Romantic attraction" doesn't exist for men, that guy is not chasing after her for "romance".
Men don't compete against other men so they can get "romance" from women. Pretty much everything you have to offer besides sex is a negative to men, they just put up with it because they want sex.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
It can be common to get a UTI when you have sex with a new partner. It is a bit more common for girls to get them because the bacteria balance is more delicate for women, but consider it: normally you have a certain balance of bacteria in your nether regions that keep everything in check. When you have sex, you are introducing an entire new range of bacteria to that area. That throws off the balance and can make a UTI happen.
It is absolutely not contagious or related to getting an STD and it can happen even between the cleanest new couple. Same thing can happen with oral for the first time as well. Often people do adjust to the new person after the first UTI though and of course they can always be caused from stress, bad diet, bad hygiene, etc. Peeing as soon as you can after sex usually prevents them.
Touched a nerve princess?
I'd be pissed if I paid to stay somewhere and there were dirty dishes lying around too. Lazy as fuck. Cleaning isn't hard, you're just spoiled and selfish. What you're venting about isn't a real problem, other than your shitty disposition and attitude. Go apologise to your mother or disinfect your doorknobs you tit.
Yeah you have to do a lot of cleaning for AirBnB guests. I've searched for listings when I visit the coast and the landlord owners have really strict rules and clean the place like an actual hotel ie. no dishes, clean floors, no clutters, sheets have been laundered after each guest etc.
The guests are paying you good money for a property you don't even own or pay bills for. So the least you can do is play maid and make sure there's no dirty dishes in the sink.
It's not Couchsurfing.
It's the same anon again. I'm a bit surprised my story seemed to cause this many people to argue.
I didn't end up going with him, my mom told me to make up some excuse for that day. Today I texted him, apologized, and asked him if he was interested in me since I was getting the feeling. He said no, he was just impressed that we had something in common. He has a daughter my age and would be mad if someone twice her age was trying to pursue her.
I can't really trust it thought. Am I misjudging it? He was the one who wanted to talk to me, went out of his way to ask if I had a boyfriend after talking to me for only 12 days, hardly knows anything about me, asked for my number, knows full well he's twice my age and all we have in common is flea market hunting. He'd be mad if someone his age wanted to date his daughter, but it makes no sense that he'd be ok with asking a girl her age to go out shopping alone with him? I'm just all very taken aback by the whole thing and very frustrated. He seems like a very popular guy at work, everyone is joking around with him a lot, and I feel bad that I can't trust it.
It's not that weird things like pregnancy genuinely alter your brain chemistry, sometimes forever. Very frustrating but you're not alone with it, I cry at any commercial featuring a family.>>183012
What do you both want out of a marriage? If you're both in it for a comfy life together then that's perfect, but if you alone will always want kink then you can't just hope to will it away even if you do love him. Also, if you are 100% comfortable with him you should be able to talk to him about this. Even if he is never going to partake in your fetishes, you need to be able to talk about how you feel about that with him. Better to talk about it now than let resentment grow in the years of silence.
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I had a falling out with a guy friend who i was very close to. Close for years, non-sexual simply platonic relationship.
TDLR on why we fell out: he treat me like shit and used my kindness for his own personal gain - for years. He told me to not speak to him and thats what i've been doing.
Well, we live in the same uni Accomodation, same flat. The way you get to your room is layed out that you have to walk in and out the office also. Well he sits in the office all day everyday - doesn't go to uni (also on the same course). Since we fell out i've been getting the feeling the office workers and random people are just ignoring or talking behind my back etc. I just blamed this on my anxiety and tried to look past it.
Well these past few days have proved it true. I walked past him while he was with some girl in the office and whispered "thats her" she turned around glared at me - no idea who she is.
The girl who works at the office is around the same age as me (20ish) and she point blank refused to speak to me, normally if you walk past the office you get a "Oh hiya!" well not anymore since he's be saying bad stuff about me, she looks at me and looks away, my boyfriend caught her whispering something to ex-friend after i'd walked past and her nodding her head towards me. Other than the office people, no one really knows me here, i stay in my room and study 90% of the time. But I get so many dirty and horrible looks from people because of him.
Thing is, he can't even muster the courage to look in my direction and yet he's actively trying to make my life here hell. Even after the falling out, i told our group of friends to just act like everything's normal and don't leave him out of stuff since they were considering ditching him.. I wish i didn't stick up for him now.
My anxiety about the whole thing is through the roof, i can't go in my kitchen because he's always inviting people over. Last time i went in I had a random girl in MY fucking kitchen staring my down as if i just hit her or something. I have people I don't know always in and out of my flat all day and it drives me insane. I just want to study and get good grades, why does he have to try to ruin this while trying to seem like the good amazing friendly guy when he's the total opposite.
just think, some anon (probably more than one) out there is rooting for you! you can do this!!
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I wish I had a boyfriend or girlfriend. I've been alone for almost a year and working on myself. I don't take psych meds anymore and my depression is a lot better, finally, after a decade in hell. I don't feel as suicidal as before. I'm about to finish uni soon so the future seems bright despite the fact I'm basically penniless. I've gotten skinnier, I look healthier… So… Why am I complaining about boy/girlfriends? God, I just feel so alone. I want someone to cuddle with me, kiss me, and make plans for the future with me. My closest friend has become an ass after getting with a neet, always justifying herself and excusing her behavior because of the things he does, so I feel extra lonely. I took a shot at a new relationship after my last proper relationship ended, but it didn't work because the girl I liked was in love with a much older man who treated her like shit. Then I met this guy from Australia and we tried a LDR for a few months until his grandmother died and his life went down the toilet and we decided we should just remain friends. That was fine by me, especially because when his life went downhill, I noticed I felt bad for him, but not as bad I'd feel if I truly loved him, so… Meh.
Oh god, I'm such a mess today I can't even express myself properly… Fuck.
>Things are finally not complete shit
>But I'm lonely
>Being my own person has become terribly hard and empty
>Someone love me
>two weeks ago
>at bar with fellow expats
>friendly conversation with Australian guy
>yeah he's bretty cute
>at some point notice all others in our group have left
>decide to share a final beer together and head back ourselves
>start dancing awkwardly together
>brushes his hand now and then against my waist
>omg does he like me
>put my free hand on his waist, shoulders
>"sorry, am I touching you too much maybe?"
>"no, not at all"
>continue awkward dancing
>some awkward conversation too
>after a while of this suddenly he leans forward
>whaaat he wants to kiss me?!
>make out in bar in front of numerous other patrons
>later head back to hostel
>kisses before going inside
>forgot to mention he's working there
>walk past reception
>they're judging us
>he grabs extra blankets and takes me up to the roof
>more making out
>awkward fumbly affectionate rooftop sex
>lots of kissing
>after sex cuddles
>we're holding hands
>15 mins afterglow
>but I have to leave to catch my flight
>he takes my details
>shower, pack my shit, head down to reception to check out
>I can tell by their faces
>oh god it's humiliating
>but I'm so happy
>he made me an omelette
>check out complete
>walks me outside, kisses me goodbye
>still thinking about him
Sigh. So now…
>we're fb friends
>message each other occasionally
>DESPERATELY want that D again
We're in different countries right now, but I have a two week break coming up in April. I want to tell him I'd like to meet up, because I totally could, but I don't want to be that crazy person who doesn't know how to one night stand (which is true, it was actually my first one)…
Sounds like you had a sweet little fling anon. If I were you I'd keep the approach as such. Don't make it out to seem like you want to get married and have his cute Aussie babies. Just remark how you might be in town and it'd be fun to hook up again. I'll also say this, I don't want to stomp all over your nice feelings but if he works at a hotel and the other employees are giving you the look
chances are he does this all the time. So just accept it as a fun fling, maybe something more can come of it and maybe not.
Don't worry, haha, the same exact thought crossed my mind regarding the look @ reception, and I hold no illusions about having any cute Aussie babies…
So, hm, should I just go for it? You don't think it comes off as clingy or desperate to msg him about meeting up again somehow? I guess the worst he could say is no thanks. Tho it would devastate me a tiny bit, lmao.
This is going to be poorly written so I'm sorry in advance.
I hate how much I pick apart the faults of others. I rarely talk to my friends anymore and little things about them bother me a lot. The problem is obviously me because I have done this with my friends throughout the ages. I was a doormat a lot in the beginning because I was so unlikable otherwise, but once I stopped those friends left. Makes sense, since I am no longer a doormat. However some friends I have had for 3-6-10 years… I am having a hard time interacting with now? A lot of them just feel really inconsiderate even though that is probably just me because they have lots of friends. Also nearly everyone I know basically vomits all their woe is me shit on facebook (different friend groups too) but even if they call me to talk, I can't handle the melodramatics anymore. It's never anything serious, just their feelings about something trivial that I don't have the emotional energy to work on since I spend all my energy hating myself. I have a few friendships with adults who actually act like adults but I see them maybe once a month and feel pretty lonely most of the time. But with everyone else I'M expected to be the one to contact them otherwise I never hear from them, or they just complain about their lives and never ask me how I am, or they are just wrapped up in the stupidest petty shit about some ex friend from years ago and yell at me about it and I just can't OR they just brag about all these AMAZING things going for them while I am sitting here with shit and they know it. I physically can't stand it anymore and I have basically pulled away from everyone except a few casual/adult friendships and I am so fucking lonely.
If any little thing happens that affects me negatively because of a friend's behavior, I basically just dwell on it or if it is bad enough (like they stand me up a few times), I stop talking to them. It's a stupid move since these days everything is about who you know but I can't work like that. I see other people I look up to who seem to just have great, caring friendships but I know not everything can be judged by what's on the internet but they seem to actually love each other and be considerate of one another? I just feel like most of the time no one gives a shit about me, even though I know the problem IS me. And I just make it worse by disappearing. I am so shit at friendships and tired of loving people who say I am a good/close/important/best friend but then throw me aside so easily. I must really be the worst.
Fuck fuck fuck.
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My small group of friends decided to go to a restaurant 4 weeks ago because we had a week long break before going back to college. One of them couldnt come and another wants to invite her friends that nobody knows and cares about, we're all back to college and really busy and they're still planning to go to the restaurant and somewhere else too somehow. I really dont want to go anymore because now that I'm not on holidays anymore I'm really busy with a bunch of assignments. I'm pissed at them, I might not go and save some money and time this way. I know it's a dumb thing to complain about but it was something I was really looking forward to at the time because I was depressed and still am.
Also, I guess it should go to the college thread but whatever: I'm suck of college. I feel like it!s a waste of time because I'd rather try to earn money and professional exoerience instead and teach myself foreign languages at my own pace. The administration is bullshit, the teachers are annoying as fuck or incompetent and Im surrounded by rich spoiled brats at worst or just unrelatable students in general. I'm scared for the future because of all of this. I wish I could just work to earn enough money to live by myself and spend my free time on video games and other hobbies.
True, I know I was naive. Some of them are very manipulative though and I fell for it hard, because I live in dreamland where everyone is considerate of eachother.
I won't go into much details but I work in the night/party industry and it's obviously filled with these types of guys. I wish I had a more regular work schedule to meet balanced people :/
Uni is worse than highschool for me.
People have babbys first day trip away from Mum and go ape shit.
I live in an Accommodation, for some reason i'm the only girl and english speaker in my flat not sure how it's fair.
I walked into the kitchen this morning to a pan left on the hob with it turned on and half eaten egg fried rice just left everywhere.
Uni is forcing me to hate chinese students.
I'm an asshole to people that I find gross. When I have enough time to think it through I can stop myself, but when it comes to snap decisions I always find myself saying 'no' to any request from older smelly guys at work even though I would have done it for a nice lady. Really petty stuff like people asking if they can put something behind my desk or whatever. I don't think race plays in to it at least, it just seems to be about whether I find the person pleasing/attractive to the eye and sometimes if they speak clear polite English. I'm a bit of a sjw so I hate myself for this so much.>>183283
You should start putting in complaints to whoever is in charge now. A history of well evidenced complaints against the mess your flatmates make will help if at the end of the year you get hit with a bill for cleaning/damage. My flatmates fucked up the communal area by never cleaning and the bill was huge, but I managed to get the charge waived for myself with this same method.
My current boss is a sociopath and is trying to set my coworkers and I up for failure(he's trying to have us fired or quit voluntarily).
He's known for gaslighting, sexual harassment, manipulation, as well as emotionally and psychologically abusing his victims-I mean, workstudy students/employees.
I fear I've become his next punching bag and is trying to make a case of insanity/mental incompetence towards me. Just this past Monday, he was ringing a bell on my direction, out of annoyance I've tried to find the source of the noise (I kinda knew he was doing it but wanted to find the specific location) but ended up slipping and falling and made look like an idiot and everyone (boss and coworker) pretended I was the only one hearing things (of course, my cw knew this). I fear this wasn't the only incident and cannot remember one previous to this.
Previously he used to threaten me (he still does, more subtly now) with terminating my job and shit and would constantly harass me for not being a "perfect employee" out of nowhere. Granted, this is my first office job as I previously worked in retail and it's only been a couple of months since I started.
There may be a lawsuit and court hearing coming from all four of use (my cw who I work with every other day has a lot of evidence as she was his first victim), I just don't know when and how to prepare myself and I don't really want to testify when that time comes to pass but I know I have to 'cause it's either that or being declared to mental to hold a job.
My boyfriend was in a abusive relationship for years (verbally, physically, etc) and as a result gets very sad and angry with me when I lose my temper with him.
My personality is I don't like people to hover when I'm not feeling good. I don't like to open up until I'm ready to vent my feelings. I'm working on this, because I want us to work and I don't want to release anger on him, but his personality is to try to make me feel better and smother me when I'm upset, which makes me more frustrated for space.
Today I was making food, he came to visit because I'm a bit ill. I burnt the pan a little and went to scrub it. He was trying to help, I know, when he told me that he would do it, but I told him I wanted to do it (friendly enough) he thought I was being stubborn and we had back and forth about it, him trying to pry it off me. I told him to go away a third time and firmly grabbed it back. It made him feel upset and unappreciated but at the time I just needed to do it by myself. He had been hovering the whole time when I was cooking.
How can I control my temper? I usually verbalise better to tell him I want to do it (even though he just wasn't choosing to listen to me) but he then said I keep making him feel worthless and it's a red flag for abuse. I don't want him to feel insecure or bad but it's ridiculous to me I can't get a little bit frustrated with him without him getting literally hysterical. I do things quickly out of frustration but I would never abuse him and it makes me feel like an evil person when all I do is get a little annoyed sometimes. How do I control my temper when he smothers me anons?
Thanks anon, hopefully everything goes well whether the lawsuit is filed or not. Recently, I found out one of my coworkers is working alongside him for our (myself and other two's) downfall.
In the meantime, I am looking for jobs to get extra cash (we don't get paid much as workstudy students) so I can gtfo by the time this semester's through
Around two years ago one of my best friends, the same who mocked me for liking glam rock and shit, as they were gay and looked like women, came out as MtF. At first I was super supportive (read tumblr brainwashed) of him but lately I'm so done with his shit I just want to stop being her friend.
He's not out to everybody yet and he made me lie about it to our mutuals friends, which I hated but still did because I was dumb as fuck. He started talking about getting the boobs and once even tried to guess my size and when I told him it he said something like "no way yours are really small, I hope I get mine much bigger". He talked about boyfriends and cute animu guys (we both like anime) and hot guys. Our chats started to become just that and nothing more. He tells me everything from his job, how is colleagues speak about the boobs finally starting to grow "so I really ned to hide them". We can't have a chat about anything else, it always has to be the boobs, the operation to take out his dick, the meds, the body, the makeup, well, all of those things that he thinks defines women.
Then he has these times when he stops talking to me for weeks and when he comes back he acts like it's my fault, because I didn't say anything or because he was suffering so much with his body. It started to gross me out and I just want him to hate me so I can finally be free of him and his delusions. I'm glad I started reading a lot of shit about trans that opened my eyes.
I'm probably being a little shit but sometimes I just wanna emphasise being a woman (I don't usually dress up or use makeup) to make him feel bad and envious lol
What's a shame it's so sad losing a friend, but Friends develop different interests and grow apart all the time and ghosting starts to happen, it's normal. If you dump them and they ask about it then try to play that up rather than mentioning the trans thing. Starting on hormones is pretty much endless PMS or a second puberty, their chemicals are out of whack completely and they're getting all of this ego pumping feedback from the internet, but they might eventually develop into a decent human again. Don't be the catalyst to let them stay an asshole.
However if you want to stay their friend then stick up for yourself and stop mollycoddling them. What happens if you try to steer the conversation? If you lead by example and say "sorry I'm honestly not that interested in boys/makeup/boobs, they're just there, but have you watched x?". When they're rude about your body, say calmly that it hurts your feelings, but follow up with an unrelated question so that you can both move on from it. If you have nothing in common anymore then just give up.
Either way don't be a bitch by deliberately trying to make them feel envious, that's such a cheap move. If they take offense to normal stuff like you mentioning your period that's one thing (you can counter that they get to talk about their boobs, and so maybe both of you should be banned from those topics) but deliberately hurting them is not going to make either of you happy. Just don't talk to them if you're going to do that, be the bigger person.
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Cunt sauce. I have to do an interview over the phone. They said they would call me within the hour 3 hours ago, and I called again, and they said they had "a lot" of interviews and the office is only open for 3 more hours and they might not get to me today!
I have been waiting my whole LIFE FOR THIS PLEASE HURRY UP AND FUCKING CALL ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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My brother has been missing for almost a day now. He was supposed to meet with his gf today but he never showed up. He also didn't come home and should be at work right now but didn't check in. He isn't answering his phone, it looks like it's dead/turned off. Usually if it close to dying he lets his gf know, but he didn't contact her or any of us today. I got into his gmail to locat his phone but it seems like it's not connected to the email. None of his friends our relatives saw him today.
I have never had a conversation with him longer than 3 sentences, we never got along very well but this is making me want to bawl my eyes out. I just want him to come home…
As morbid as this might sound, I hope he's dead rather than kidnapped or sold into slavery or some shit.
Doubt it, he's not the kind to just wander off, especially without telling his gf, he's also 27
It just feels unreal. I hope he's safe, wherever he is. It's cold outside and dark :(
It's almost 10pm and my parents want to wait until 11pm or so because he might still come home. I think they don't really want to accept it yet
We called the hospitals, nothing turned up sadly :/>>183414
His gf asked around, no one saw that day
And no, he has an old ass lg but I couldn't track it because it's not linked to anything with his email
I just don't get how no one saw him. He works in a hotel, nightshift, so when he leaves in the morning there are people around, it's also in the center of the town
Tell them that it's better to accidentally make a mistaken report than to wait.
It's still very likely that he will be fine and just rock up home but on the off chance it's always better to err on the side of caution
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I'm new at the gym and I've already had 2 personal trainers look at me, give me pic related smile and loudly ask if I'm okay.
Yes I am fucking okay, can't I fucking read the instructions on the exercises machine without one of you jackasses coming up to me? I'm not a complete novice to exercise, just fuck off. I hate my fucking resting suffering face.
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i feel ya anon. i have no friends. i've been trying to lose weight (and i've been doing good i guess) and no one approaches me. when i try to approach people they seem scared. i tried changing my style to look normie and still no one liked me. now i'm trying to go back to my shitty edgy style because it makes me happy but… i feel like it makes people feel more put-off by me. basically no matter what i do people won't enjoy my company. i've been told that i'm boring and unfunny to my face. i'm just fucking unlikeable. whenever i think i'm making friends it leads to nowhere, they only talk to me once and never again. i hate myself so much. i think things would be different if i wasn't so ugly, but theres really nothing i can do about it? so i'm just so fucking lonely? and ugly? and no matter how much i try no one seems to like me? i'm halfway through college and i've yet to make a friend. i'm so fucking lonely.
i don't crave being in a relationship… i just crave company, someone to talk to. i'm fucking lonely, just in a different way than you are? i'm sorry i'm just venting too. anyways i feel ya. let's kill ourselves together.
It's 4:30am and he just came home. Said he lost his phone
Idk what to think about it, but I'm glad he's back home
We have things to work on but he just blew up at me because in addition to not being as affectionate recently, I wanted to be "alone" for 30 minutes before I went to bed. I wanted to unwind. We had a fight earlier about sex and affection and we both agreed to work on things and it was all good. He falls asleep on the couch, I get up and tell him "let's go to bed". We get up. I bring my laptop, and I tell him if it bothers him that I bring it to bed, let me know (because this is another problem I need to work on). He says yeah, it's okay, I just want to cuddle. Immediately, ugggh I feel dread. I don't want to cuddle. We just had an argument about this intimate shit I just want to be left alone. He takes this as him being unloved and not attractive to me. I understand where this anxiety comes from, because I have been less affectionate for reasons I explained to him and I thought we could work it out, it wasn't a big deal, it's a hygiene thing among other things. But I laid down with him, we spooned for like 5 minutes, I couldn't sleep because I was still all wired from shouting at each other. I got up, I said "I'm just going to sit in the living room for 20 minutes." He's like "oh, you can go on your laptop in here." I reply, "No, I'm going into the living room." I am starting to cringe just writing this out, it pisses me off so much just thinking about it. He goes "oh, okay" pretty reluctantly, I get that he's upset that I want to be alone. He gets up within 10 minutes and goes into the living room, turns on the TV and starts smoking weed. I'm super irritated, I've mentioned that not having space is bothersome to me. I get up and say, with obvious restrained anger in my eyes, "Not to be rude, but I just want to be alone for like, 20 minutes. I just want to relax". I go into the bedroom. He comes in and is asking me "Well if there's anything you want to talk about let me know". I snap, which is obviously making the issue seem more complex than it is, and say that I just wanted to be fucking alone, curse words curse words I just wanted to be fucking alone, period, no offense to you, we just had a fight, etc.
He comes back with "Well that's what makes me feel unwanted!/unloved!" and his version of "relaxing" IS "cuddling with girlfriend". It's not absurd, I was just pissed and didn't find that activity very relaxing! So I freak out and cry, blabbering about how it's not so fucking hard to understand that I just want to be fucking alone, he shoots back that it IS hard for him to understand, because it's not how HE feels about it and how we share intimacy. I got called out of work today, not because I magically wanted to, but because business is slow, and he throws that in my face like a double whammy - I work harder than you and you got alone time today so this can only mean I am unwanted. That pissed me off because only until RECENTLY was he working full time, I paid our rent in entirety TWICE, AND OUR DEPOSIT, bought him pants and new shoes for work because his legs and back hurt and he wanted to have style, who doesn't, I did too, we went to H&M together it was a whole thing!
So he gets pissed and says that he feels like our relationship is a ticking time bomb and that I am just going to break up with him soon. Not all at once, but soon, and that scares him. Exactly what he said to me is "I'm afraid you're going to break up with me because I'm acting like a psycho." (about that wording, not precise, but used the word psycho specifically) We both have problems, I am willing to work with him and help him feel less insecure, but he's not fucking helping when he says that.
I get up and go. At this point is 12:30 AM and I'm going to walk down the strip to get cigarettes. He's following me down the road, under the impression that because I left with him, I'm going to angrily walk with him, and for whatever reason, he wanted that to happen.
He stops me, tries to hand me cigs, and tell me that he'll go out if I stay home because he's worried about me walking down the strip by myself, at night. I get it, it's a little sketchy, I cross the street when I'm walking towards people, I walk fast, I survived doing that the three years before we started dating.
I just tell him to leave me alone. He argues, he doesn't want me to leave. I relent, and he says something to the effect of "I'm putting a lot of effort into making you happy, and it seems like you're not returning the favor". At this point I want to throw myself into a moving car and let my guts spatter all over the place. I just walk away as he says "I love you". Fuck you.
I come home after a brisk walk and too many cigarettes to a note, on the bed, detailing that he takes back everything he says, he has a problem, it's not my problem, and he's a shitty boyfriend. He writes, verbatim, sorry I'm a shitty boyfriend.
What do I even fucking do? I feel like I'm getting fucked with to the nth degree. It almost doesn't feel right. I'm not the most emotionally stable person, but this is bothering the fuck out of me. I have to live with him at least until August. I seriously want to leave him at this point. I don't know what he could do to make me think otherwise. Maybe I just need some sleep.
I'm just sick of every argument him throwing all he does for me in my face. I never mention the bullshit I do for him when we fight. It's so fucking annoying. I can see through your guilt tripping. You're driving me crazy.
God, I know this is an impossible question, but has anybody experienced something crazy like this? Is there anything "simple" that could clear the air? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Any second now he'll probably come in accusing me of torturing him for not immediately forgiving this dumbassery and making him "tired" for work in the morning. Please, make me feel like shit, I just want to be guilted into being a better person for you and only you.
>>183456>Is there anything "simple" that could clear the air?
If you really want to stay together, the only thing that can initially clear the air is telling him your faults clearly and concisely about this, tell him how you really feel about him, apologize for anything you feel you did is wrong, and then say how you feel.
To be honest you both sound a little immature (I am not trying to be mean, I'm just judging from your interactions). It is 100% normal for one person to do their own thing while in bed before going to sleep for a bit as long as it isn't say, EVERY night (like spending hours on your laptop/phone) when the other one wants a little talking/cuddle time. It's fine if you are not a bed talker/cuddler, but most importantly is asking yourself is that just how you are, or do you just not want to do it with HIM specifically? If it's the idea of him, well, there's your answer, you aren't as attracted to him and should probably let him go.
I can go on if you like, I'll be awake a bit longer, but I hope this is a good start. My s/o and I had a lot of bumps down the road and had little weird things like this happen over the years, but you can eventually even it out. It's basically a situation of 2 people expressing their love differently, and a happy medium can be reached after enough trial and error. (So long as you actually want to stay with that person.)
It sounds like you're a good friend, I hope it works out for the two of you but it's their loss if it doesn't. You can always come back to us if anything changes!>>183451
Good! This is soppy but maybe you should tell him you were really worried for him and didn't know what to do if something had happened to him. You say you guys barely talk, so it might be good to just put that out there>>183456
Like other anon, I just don't feel from this that you want to patch stuff up with him. I understand that you're locked into your apartment until August but if you see him more as a friend or flatmate then ending it cleanly is the right thing to do, there is no shame in being unable to return someone's feelings. People can't guilt trip people into loving them. However if you do want to make this work then you both have to communicate better like other anon said.
You're right, we are both immature. I have intimacy problems that I need to work on. I have an attitude. I am still thinking of breaking up with him. If not because we aren't compatible, but because I clearly am not affectionate enough for the average relationship. I think it's more of my problem that I need to deal with than his, because a lot of his problems would be alleviated if I was turned on by him enough to be as affectionate as he wants. That's really it, he doesn't turn me on, and I don't really have a clear inkling of what actually turns me on.
And I have an attitude and am a snappy cold bitch who doesn't make eye contact when we argue. It's a lot of problems on my end. Thanks for the response. I'm really dreading everything. It's really hard to be honest and not just beat around the bush.
No worries, happy I could help a little bit. Have a little snack and some water if you can, and some sleep asap. If you have to face him before sleeping, ask if you can talk in the morning because you are really drained and don't want to say the wrong thing/not say what you mean because you are sleepy. I find arguing/having heated discussions while tired makes them 1000% worse so I hope you can both sleep for now.
I totally understand, I was (and still am) horrible socially, and was very similar to you when I dated/got in my first serious relationship. It takes a lot of trial and error and arguments to learn those things about yourself and how to refine your bad traits to where they don't hurt others as much. I am sure you can do it, but for now the main thing driving your decisions is how you feel about him.
If you both express yourselves in a relationship differently, that is totally fine and no one's fault. It's trying to force the other person to just be completely ok with it if it hurts them that isn't ok, which seems like it is happening on both sides. It sounds like he really wants to try and if you are unsure it is fine to keep trying until you know for sure (that you have feelings for him or not I mean), but if you don't have that urge to make it work that feeling is probably speaking for yourself. No harm, it will hurt both of you a bit, but there is nothing wrong with not bieng compatible.
It's fine, and I understand being bothered by trainers. Just try to think, it's their job.
If you're really bothered just put in headphones and watch youtube videos that explain how to use equipment.
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Sooo, if I've processed and understood what has just gone down correctly…
>bf comes home from work with a nug of weed after trying to find a hookup for us
>thank him, tell him I made steak
>he eats two
>we continue watching a nostalgia childhood movie because some parts are trippy and stupid
>after we're done bf complains he has to go in early for a business meeting
>I have tomorrow off and was going to stay up late on the couch
>tell him he should go to bed now so he won't be tired and regretting it
>he leans in to kiss me but he doesn't go after a few
>suddenly he pounces on me and starts doing silly shit trying to make me laugh like blowing on my tummy and neck and trying to tickle my sides
>I still had the mouse in my hand but I wasn't letting go bc I wanted the laptop
>kept trying to take the mouse
>prickles me with his beard stubs, gropes and fake humps me
>humor this for the first two minutes but after that it was pretty unfunny
>playfully in nice tone tell him to get off
>tell him in seriousness to get off a couple times
>he doesn't, thinks it's funny to 'restrain' me more like holding down my arms
>tell him to get the fuck off and bang him w/ the mouse
>laughs it off
>tell him I ain't fuckin him and to get off now
>after a few minutes of me not playing along (I'm talking like 8 minutes of this shit total) he gets it
>"So I can't show you any affection huh? Even after I got you that weed?"
>can't tell if he's still playing games or not
>I laugh and say "Hah, no not like that. You were being ridiculous and obnoxious."
>mind you I wasn't even saying this in a pissed off/negative tone, I wasn't trying to make him feel bad
>"Hah, yeah okay."
>he gets up in an agitated manner, proceeds to speedwalk to bedroom door
>"Are you..mad at me, bf?"
>"Hah. No. Goodnight."
I didn't do anything wrong…
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I haven't had my car for a month yet and I've already made a massive dent on the door.
They have passed before and so eventually they will pass again so please be kind to yourself. I get them too anon, you aren't alone.>>183617
If that ever happens again, just flat out tell him when to stop and that he is doing stuff that you don't want him to do. Don't apologize for feeling uncomfortable or soften it like that ever again anon. If he acts like a manbaby again like that if he doesn't like being told no, then it's a serious red flag.>>183653
Prepare some meal plans. Most people forget how to look after themselves when they move out, so it's not a bad idea to plan what groceries and kitchen utensils you will buy and what meals you will cook for the first two weeks.
Ugh everytime my parents go on holiday in the summer I go on a crash diet (I'm not deluded enough to call it ana since it's just a few weeks at most). I'm moving out soon too and I have no clue what's gonna happen.
I'm pretty well adjusted food-wise because any appearance of having an eating disorder is terrifying to me. But when I'm left to my own devices I just stop caring.
I'm so sorry anon. I'm sure your cat had an amazing life with you despite that, so many cats never have the opportunity to have a caring family or a life at all.
I hope you're okay otherwise anon, regarding insurance and such.
Dw, you don't have anybeating disorder if you can unironically use the term 'ana'
Just a regular dieter like 75% of first-world women
Fair-o. Sorry, it's too hard to take any thing that says 'ana' or other cutesy stuff as anything but 13 year old humble bragging. I saw your post and immediately assumed.
For real tho, just make a meal plan and work at keeping it. Idk how y'all have such a hard time with basic self-care when you're apparently not mentally ill or handicapped.
Either you're not actually doing anything bad or you're deliberately hurting yourself and downplaying it. Eat the food, drink the water. Mum and dad being home shouldn't change that unless something else is wrong
Stop checking. Just don't do the thing. Delete all the texts, the number, the social media connections, all of it.
It's hard but you just use willpower.
if you like movies and series I can suggest tvtropes
or maybe you can play games on your phone?>>183753>cracked
I used to love that site but it seems to have few good articles since the site got overrun by sjw's
Wait do you think she shouldn't have told anyone that her friend is abusing meds and seems suicidal?
Her parents need to know, and the school is equipped to refer her parents to counsellors and probably provide some basic counselling at school as well.
It's a serious thing and needs to be dealt with like the danger it is. Casually saying 'that's not very good' isn't going to do anything.
You seriously want your 12-year-old niece to talk to her friend about suicide? I think that's a way too heavy topic for an elementary student.
And of course her parents need to know, if my child had suicidal thoughts and parents of her school friends knew I'd be furious if I wasn't being informed. Just because your mum was shit at talking to you does not mean the girl's mum is equally crappy.
Sage bc diary but I had to be resuscitated after suicide attempt that happened. It could have been prevented if my friends mother had told mine that she knew I had been cutting myself so yeah, it's good that this kids parents have been told.
OP is seeing it way too personally to be reasonable about it imo. Privacy about depression and suicidal ideas lead to deaths.
I hope this is the right place.
Two years ago I left home. I went to a different country and married my long distance bf. When I did this, I ceased contact with my mother, step-dad, and their family. Mom was a narcissist, and since leaving, my mental health has improved A LOT. For months my mom, her friends, even her fucking drug dealer harassed my husband for months, we got it under control about 3 months ago and I was doing great! (Obviously I'm not 100% okay, I'm still a little depressed and anxious, but whatever)
Then this morning I made a new IG account, to post things separate from my personal life, and I don't know how, but everyone I had got away from was there. My mom, step-dad, all the old family. Everybody came up in the suggested users to follow "based on my likes" even the only post I had liked was so irrelevant. I deleted immediately in case anyone saw but now I'm just so. Shaky. I haven't had a panic like this in such a long time. My arms went numb, my mind is a complete blur, I can't even see right. I just don't understand how this can happen.
I'm not really expecting anyone else to read or care. I just want to know when this will end. Seeing a photo of my mother sending me into a fucking panic attack. I feel so pathetic. I thought I was making progress.
just keep breathing anon.
it sounds like you're having a panic attack. IT WILL END. you will be okay. just slow breathes & even if its out loud count things you notice with your senses. sights, smells, sounds. go through them all
for a lot of people, a small amount of immersion will help prevent the sudden onset of panic when they see pictures of somebody they're on negative terms with, ect. (it happens with exes too). just try to sit with it instead of hiding from it or trying to erase it.
nobody can hurt you or harm you or anything. none of them can affect you right now. they are not in your life right now. they can't hurt you or make you upset. only you can and its okay if you still have unresolved feelings and DO experience painful feelings towards them just know in time it will go away
Maybe this is cliche advice but discipline is much more important than motivation. Discipline is doing something even when you don't want to because you know that it'll benefit you - even if not immediately benefit you. You just have to do it, try not to take your personal feelings into account.
I've had many of the same situations and one being that when I was in school and I skipped classes for weeks and was failing every class, I realized that I had to get my ass in check so I did. It definitely wasn't easy but it had to be done and sometimes, pain and discomfort and awkwardness can be beneficial even if it doesn't seem like it. It helps if you have someone else to keep you in check but ultimately, you have to do it yourself and kick your own ass when you need to.
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When I see posts like this I can't help but laugh. This is what /pol/ makes to people.
i do this every once in a while: i find a cow, obssess about her for weeks and then forget she exists. she can still be milky, but i just stop caring. it's like some people just get bored of their gfs and bfs. but with cows.
i hate that about my personality because it makes me feel like i have no life (tho i do, i just have lots of free time) since i spend so much time reading about people who dont even know me, and laughing at them or just hating them because they're so shitty, and that i am an idiot because i move onto other stuff so fucking fast. not only with cows, i actually lose interest pretty fast as a rule.
i remember i was like this with margo, venus, onion, etc etc etc. my current fav is luna, and she has been since her first thread, which is my oldest dairy cow.
maybe my hate boner just isnt that great, which might be good in the end.
after venting, i have a question to ask here because apparently the Search bar is gone(?) otherwise id just use it:
i binge-watched this girl's Madlelynn videos and idk why i dislike her a lot but i kept watching kek. she came out as the infamous extremely pretentious weebish vegan who wants to be special in a 'dorky', hipster way (just watch the vid, its one min). if anyone knows anything about her please let me know, especially if milky (she has like 800.000 followers and i do live under a rock when it comes to e-celebs or tumblr so..).
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>when you're trying to be supportive but say something stupid instead
this happens way too much.
thank you, anon. i appreciate it. i hope you're health problems are manageable and you get all the healthcare and emotional and physical support you need!
and yes true, atleast i'm not a munchie lol
So I went on a vacation with my mom, my aunt, her husband and my granddad.
A little back story on my aunt: she's a doctor, she's model-tier hot and comes from a good family, looks 25 when she's really ~33 (wont lie Im a bit jelly lol) but dear lord, she's got issues. She lost her first husband in a car crash when she was in her mid twenties and remarried when she was around 30.(In our culture, this is a bit taboo, but okay.). Idr if she was like this from before she lost her first hubby or not, but she's got a bit of a shitty personality. She has a habit of mocking the people around her incessantly (even though its said she doesn't really mean it?) and is unable to control her negative feelings, resulting in temper tantrums. She also has a really high pitched, kinda nasal voice which just makes things worse but I digress.
(Imo shes a good person with flaws but thats not the point here)
So she gets a new hubby who's actually kind of a good guy (except I dunno rn.) who seems to treat her fairly well, like putting up with her shit and going all like "honey calm down please :)" when she's screaming over…whatever. He's kinda chill I guess and values logic a lot from what I've personally seen.
Except this morning my aunt throws one of her regular bitch fits (over not wanting to stay at her mother-in-law's house because she thinks she's the personification of every shitty personality trait known to man (she's not)) and screams about how her husband never pays attention to what she wants and starts jumping down the throat of any poor soul that is misfortuned to be in the immediate vincity at the time but okay. She quiets down after a few bitch fits and we all go back to our hotel sometime around noon. After thirty minutes or so we hear (mind you, her room is all the way down the hallway) the sound of my aunt sobbing really hard, really loud. My grandad, my mom and I were just like "Oh they're just having a fight and she's throwing a fit again."
Apparently not. All of us go out again in the afternoon and on our way back to our hotel my mom elbows me and tells me that no, my aunt wasnt throwing a fit. Her husband lost it and started threatening her. From what I was told, he had pushed her against a wall and put pressure on her neck (these exact words), yelling about how he was going to kill her and pushed her around a bit. While my mom is telling me this, my aunt breaks down crying.
Thing is, he's never been violent. Ever. My aunt isn't the type to keep things to herself either. And now all other parties (my grandad, my mom and me) are freaking out, because on one hand they don't want my aunt to divorce and on the other hand…well, no matter how annoying your SO is, threatining to kill them is not okay. So my grandad (who has REALLY bad heart issues) is fucking losing it, and my mom (who has mental issues) is fucking losing it, and I'm just sitting in a corner wondering what I should do to help.
Sage for bs vent even though this is a vent thread.
Burning yourself out never works. You need sleep. You need sleep as much as you need studying.
If you don't get any sleep, your ability to retain information goes down the toilet. The more you strain yourself to study and work, the less effective it becomes overall.
You can force yourself awake for study sessions, but the longer you go the further the returns on keeping yourself awake go down. Go to bed.
Lol energy drinks are pure shit and ADHD meds don't help you study or focus unless you actually have ADHD. Since you're just abusing it, its acting like the stimulant it is and probably made your grades way worse than if you had of studied and worked harder like everyone else.
Why does anyone still think Ritalin etc does anything other than get regular people a little bit high?
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This fucking guy i fell out with who I actually live with in my student halls is trying to make my life hell for some reason.
We had a falling out after a long friendship and it was fairly civil, we just didn't talk to each other.
Now i've had a lot of issues this year living at these halls with noise and lack of sleep and i've complained hundreds of times, I got 2 exchange students moved out of my flat due to harassment and threatening behaviour towards me because I politely asked them to not smoke in my flat due to my breathing issues.
Well this guy who i fell out with has known me FOR YEARS, he knows i dislike cigarettes but I don't mind if it's outside or in an open area. Well since falling out he started smoking, then he started smoking in my flat making it smell so bad, it's awful. He's now had parties in the flat for 3 nights in a row, including day time where random people are just in the common area/kitchen all day. I'm pretty shy person, so i try not to interrupt if someone has friends over resulting me not going into the kitchen. I have to make food in my room sometimes because of it.. which isn't bad because a party lasts for a few hours, right? Wrong, 3 days. 3 full days.
I found out earlier that he told one of our friends that he's doing it because he knows i would avoid the kitchen and that i wouldn't go in and eat and he wanted to make me as uncomfortable as possible.
I've had people knocking on my door and running away, shouting my name in the corridor and being forced to stay awake till 5am, even when he knew i had a job interview and had to be up at 8am he chose to make as much noise as he could.
Here's the thing, i would normally complain. but this fucking guy since day 1 he's moved here with me he's had his face in every staff member that works in these halls. The cleaners, office workers, maintenance guys, you name it. If i did complain they wouldn't even tell him off due to how much they all love him and they're all friends with him. I just dont know what to do and im trapped in my own room all the time.
It's so fucking annoying, we fell out and didn't talk. Nothing was said or done it was just no talking but all of a sudden I have 20+ people who i don't know hating my guts and basically setting up camp in my kitchen.
Please i just want to study..
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I just want a dick and balls. With a real, working prostate. and NOT some vagina and clit with a Gspot.
I don't care about other people's genitalia preferences. They're entitled to have their own preferences to their genitals.
but FOR ME, I just want a fucking dick. I feel disgusting whenever I "feel turned on" because I KNOW that i have the wrong fucking genitals. I've felt this way since I was fucking 6, and yet, here I am still trying to pay for my surgery.
It isn't even the fact that half the world considers me a "degenerate" for doing this. It's the fact even the best surgeons in the world aren't perfect with their methods, and still expensive as fuck, and practice far away.
Seconding the other anon, you need to call the police if there are random people in your flat and you want them to fuck off.
You should confront the guy and ask him what his problem is. It's definitely bullying. I hope he and everyone else leaves you alone or you find someone else to room with or something.
Also if you haven't attempted talking to the RA or whoever deals with this stuff because you know they're friends with him… you should anyway. Never know what'll happen til you try
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Goddamn, I'm just…so conflicted right now? My sister (for as long as I can remember) is a borderline narcissist and known to lie and/or over exaggerate every little thing. God bless my parents as they've tried to get her help, and she is smart (off at uni) but this current situation… She claims that last year at her senior party a student raped her. She didn't say anything until she went away to college a few months later. She never told my family exactly what happened because we're supposed to believe her but I guess everyone the detective interviewed said that they were both drunk and trying to get back at their exes? Not to mention there's no physical evidence. The only people who are saying that it did happen are my sister and her two friends who actually said she was wrong at first? Well I guess after being told there's nothing they can do she tried to take him to court, and now she's warning us that if him or his friends come into contact with us to call the police. I live in a small town and this kid and his friends are these weird fucked up, drug addict rednecks so now I'm fucking terrified that they're going to vandalize/damage our house and cars or even try to harm my mom and I. My parent's don
t believe her, my therapist was even skeptical. I feel so shitty for saying I dont believe her but she has always thrown my family under the bus; people calling our house to yell at us, students confronting me back in high school to get in my face and vent all their shit about my sis, the list goes fucking on. I can't do it anymore anons, should I just silently stand by? she is definitely mentally ill, thank god she's staying with boyfriend #600 because I can't talk to her anymore.
I'm terrified of smelling. My breath, my body, whatever. What's driving me nuts is that I don't know if I do or don't and even if I do I wish someone would tell me, even though I know nobody will.
I know my breath smells when I'm really hungry or as soon as I wake up. Brushing my teeth doesn't help. As soon as I have something savoury, like a sandwich or slice of pizza in the morning it goes away until I'm like literally starving again. In between meals I pop xylitol mints. I brush regularly, including my tongue and cheeks, but I'm still paranoid and try not to get too close to people.
I walk to college every day so I get a little sweaty in between (winter, lots of layers, usually in a hurry to get inside), but I don't think I smell. I wash my clothes whenever they start to smell or look dirty, but where I live nobody washes their clothes after every wear (I think it's an American thing) and jeans and jumpers are seldom washed yet nobody has body odour issues. Most people I know smell nice. I do the smell test before putting anything on but I can usually only smell my deodorant. I also ask my bf but he always says the same. I wash regularly and use a homemade, lavender-scented deo, and I change my underclothes and wear a merino wool layer and heattech tights under my clothes. I'm still super paranoid about it.
The reason I'm paranoid is because I've seen comments online like 'Ewww, you don't floss? Your breath must reek
' and people making fun of their friends with bad breath or BO/thinking they're dirty without telling them anything.
I've also heard people say things like 'you can't know if you smell because you can never smell yourself' or 'your bf/gf can't tell either because they're used to you' but I've definitely smelled myself before, even when others couldn't (when I wore a polyester T-shirt one summer) and I've definitely smelled my bf before too, multiple times.
Also, my bf is kind of obtuse and my aunt once had to tell him he had bad BO in front of everyone so I'm also worried that he's just clueless and doesn't notice even when I do smell.
Sorry for the novel, I just don't want to be known as 'the smelly girl', I'm awkward enough irl.
Have you tried clinical strength anti-persperant? It's for people who sweat enormous amounts so it should definitely help prevent any stink from regular daily sweating. My diet sucks, so I often reek of ketosis and rexona clinical was a life saver.
Sugarless gum will work for breath, and a nice perfume could help ease some of the anxiety. A quick touch-up of deodorant and perfume after lunch or a loo-break could help as well.
It sucks feeling smelly, but you're almost definitely not a stinky person. Is there anybody at school/work you trust enough to say something along the lines of 'hey, you'd tell me if I ever smelled bad right? I'd hate to smell and not realise'
For real though, you probably never smell as much as you think you do. Your daily bathing, deodorant, and clean clothes all smell good.
someone i work with is very very obviously cheating on their husband with a coworker. they're always attached at the hip at work, it's shameless, everyone in the place knows they're a thing. but she's on her facebook posting happy anniversaries with her dude, like "this was a trying year" …. trying to find a place to fuck your work bf? work guy is an uggo with no self esteem too, so she wrings hundreds of dollars of makeup and food and shit out of him…. they're both fat and uggo, honestly
bothers me so much to know this poor dopey guy is sitting at home with her crotchspawn having no idea. she's friends with work dude on social media too, i want so badly to tag him in the comments of her lovey-dovey posts like oh hey [work dude] i thought you two were together?
but she's otherwise a nice person who i don't want to hurt…
So I just started a new job and I'm dreading going to work after being called the n word by a patient I was sitting. I don't know how to get over that slur, I WAS SO FUCKING UNCOMFORTABLE! I wasn't even suppose to be sitting this guy, I only deal with less severe patients and this dude was not that….There was actually a mix up and I got the wrong patient.
Ugh, I fucking hate them for mixing up the patients and traumatizing me with this shit.
He made me so fucking uncomfortable, I'm transferring to the children's hospital after I'm done with my first month.
:/ I honestly fucking hate them for making me go through all that, I was scared for my life when they left me in the room with him….
He was in restraints when I was suppose to be sitting him and spoke about killing the nurses….That fucking SCARED me!
Not to mention, they let him out of his restraints not shortly after…
I'm only a few days in and they decided to put me with a suicidal patient. Which was a huge mix up, since I'm only suppose to be dealing it less severe patients. It's in my contract.
Also yes that word made me super uncomfortable, I never had it said to me before! And this dude shouted it at me three times before I ever stepped within the room, I was in utter shock…
I know a lot of people assume within America it must be common place to hear racial slurs due to all the race shit in the media, but in reality I never dealt with any of that. I got lucky….
I know to a lot of people think the word nigger has no weight, tbh I use to think being called that word was terrible but not soul crushing.
Until it happened to me…It felt like shit.
I don't know how people can deal with having racial slurs constantly thrown at their faces, I'd snap
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Oops, dropped pic…
I thought I could handle a long distance relationship.
Finally, after being away from my partner for the majority of 3 years, loneliness hits. I miss going on dates. I miss having someone around.
I finally realized just how little time we "spend" together (i.e. texting throughout the day). He works all week, while I pull 9-10 hour weekend shifts; when we're off at night he's hanging with buddies and playing video games, while I have to go to bed fairly early for the occasional weekday shift or school; when I'm off during the day, he's at work. We used to have regularly scheduled Skype dates, but he liked spontaneity. Because of the lack of scheduling, they dwindled off into maybe once every three months, at most.
He said he could be home within a month or three, but because of our circumstances even that's not a promise. I would much rather kill myself than break up with him. I'm not sure if I'm staying with him for the comfort and consistency, because of the time put into it, because of my dependency and abandonment issues. I care for him, dearly, but there's a part of me that wonders if this is still right.
I lost my grandfather suddenly in a car wreck almost 2 years ago. Family grew apart, I avoided grieving properly by concentrating on college and my job. Up until recently, it's been hitting me out of nowhere with the outbursts of crying/anger spells. I'm terrified of death even more so now and losing the people closest to me is a thought that haunts me everyday. I've become so paranoid and anxious of death, I've also let myself go health wise.
I have accepted he has passed, but my grandparents raised me so he was more like a father to me. There are days I get caught up in my own daydream and want to call him about something going on in my life or to vent(I never deleted his number from my phone). Then it's like a kick in the stomach I can't. I never got full closure, I have a lot of guilt and anger inside of me I don't know how to cope with it.
I know many people have experienced loss, but I never knew what it felt like until he died. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.
tldr; I've let myself go, I never leave the apartment unless my boyfriend urges me to get out and go somewhere, lost friends, panic disorder and depression are at it's worst.
You should stop :( Especially if they're opioids.>>184179
If you're unhappy enough with the relationship that breaking it off is crossing your mind, but you would still >rather kill myself than break up with him, then somethings wrong imo. If you really feel that way about a relationship of the quality you're describing then maybe you need to work on valuing yourself more or some junk like that. Or maybe you have some other issue that you could seek a bit of help for. I don't really know, I just wanted to say what came to mind.
I fucked my life up by being an unmotivated depressed idiot. I fell for the community college meme, and proceeded to flounder about for a few years skipping classes, changing majors, retaking classes, never studying, not doing homework, etc. I finally graduated back in December with a low GPA (2.2) and an Associates of Science degree. The only college that would accept me was one of the worst colleges in the state (Radford University) and now I am attending there. The school had/has a reputation for being a huge party school, so you know the kinds of people that attracts.
You can choose to believe me or not, but I'm actually a smart person, I'm not living up to my potential. I don't fit in here, I have no friends and romantic prospects are nonexistent. I'm trying to raise my GPA just high enough to transfer out to a marginally better institution in around 6-8 months, but if that fails I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm considering trying to find people of my own sort on the internet in the mean time, but I don't know how to go about doing that. At the very least I have all A's and B's now, taking only Sci/Math classes, so it's not so bad.
That's my story. Wish me luck I guess.
Sorry, this is going to get really long. Found this thread and it’s exactly what I need.
My boyfriend treats me like absolute garbage and I’m at a loss for what to do. For a quick background, we dated when we were 14, and broke up a couple weeks later because he cheated on me with my best friend at the time, then decided to get back together with his ex. We still talked though, and when we were about 17, I snuck him over a few times when he would sweet talk me and try to get me to sleep with him, even though I didn’t want to. I just wanted him to like me. He would keep trying to pry my legs open and I’d tell him to stop, but he wouldn’t listen. He’d keep going and going, and I’d tell him no, over and over. I got scared every time, so I kicked him out. Every. Time. Is that sexaul assault? I don’t fucking know. Anyway, I moved after that, and we still kept in touch, and I still liked him, and I still had pipe dreams that someday we’d date or be together whatever, and he still just saw me as a piece of ass. He legit said that taking my virginity would be like a “prize” or some shit.
So whatever, I moved back home 3 years later. We hung out. We made out. Two years went by, now I’m here. Within those two years, he never wanted to call me his girlfriend, ever. It wasn’t until I threatened to break off contact that he dropped the “I love you” bomb that he decided that we’re a couple. It took him a year + some months before he would even take me out in public. I lost a ton of weight and grew my hair out and then FINALLY he started to take me outside my house. He never told his friends about me until recently. Until about 3 months ago, he fucking shoved me into a dark room and refused to let anyone know I even existed. His family didn’t know about me for a year? Something like that? I was an invisible, sad, embarrassing fuckbuddy for more that one and a half years, and even now, I still feel like I'm nothing more than that. He comes over, falls asleep, wakes up, fucks me and leaves because everything else takes priority over me.
Last year, we experimented with sex and I told him I liked things rough. He’d slap me around, that sort of thing. Then it got to the point where he’d do that outside of the bedroom. I jokingly wouldn’t leave his car one time, and he backhanded me and told me to get out. There were quite few instances like that, and he thought it was ok because it was my ‘fetish’. I went to lunch with my ex-boyfriend, WHICH I TOLD HIM I WOULD DO TWO WEEKS BEFOREHAND, and he… like. Actually beat the fuck out of me, and had sex with me when I didn’t want to, and it scared the absolute shit out of me to the point where I just laid in bed and cried for an entire day afterward. I don’t want to call it this or that, but it was legitimately scary. I told him that it felt like a hatefuck, and he said “yeah, it was, I’m pissed."
He told me he cheated on me a few months ago. Because I'm a fucking moron, I told him that I forgive him.
But now, I’m fairly certain he’s cheating on me again. He’s hanging around with his ex-girlfriend and the fucking time, and I'm a salty jealous bitch because she's the text-book definition of perfect. He doesn’t go anywhere with me anymore, but goes out of his way to spend time with her and accommodate her. They text all the fucking time, he talks about her all the fucking time, and he's admitted to me that he's lied to me about hanging out with her. He tries to reassure me that nothing is going on, and that everything is fine and that we’re “good”, but I’ve finally reached the point where I’m fed up and angry and disenchanted, but not yet strong enough to confront him or say “fuck you, I’m done, leave me alone”.
It’s so easy to say “just leave,” but I've invested 10 years of my life into this festering piece of human trash that it’s really, truly and honestly, not that easy. I love him, and I've loved him for a very, VERY long time. I'm furious, miserable, and stressed beyond anything I could have ever imagined, and I know I could do better, but when I think about my life without him, I just fall apart. I'm a pathetic, stupid, fucking moron. I realize this.
No one has to give me advice. I just really, really needed to get that out there. So thanks, lolcow.
>>184198>we dated when we were 14, and broke up a couple weeks later because he cheated on me with my best friend at the time, then decided to get back together with his ex. We still talked though, and when we were about 17, I snuck him over a few times when he would sweet talk me and try to get me to sleep with him, even though I didn’t want to. I just wanted him to like me. He would keep trying to pry my legs open and I’d tell him to stop, but he wouldn’t listen. He’d keep going and going, and I’d tell him no, over and over. I got scared every time, so I kicked him out. Every. Time. Is that sexaul assault? I don’t fucking know. Anyway, I moved after that, and we still kept in touch, and I still liked him, and I still had pipe dreams that someday we’d date or be together whatever, and he still just saw me as a piece of ass. He legit said that taking my virginity would be like a “prize” or some shit.
If I were you I'd read this part you wrote over and over and then some more. He cheated on you as a kid and then you paint him as a sleezeball who just wants your virginity and then you end up with im anyway?? Why do you want to be with this guy again? He cheated on you recently and there's a good chance he's been cheating on you the whole time, not taking you outside or calling you his girlfriend probably made it a lot easier for him.
>I've invested 10 years of my life into this festering piece of human trash
It really doesn't sound like an investment to me anon.. what are you getting out of it now that 10 yrs have passed? He hits you? I wouldn't stick around to see what else I'd get out of my investment if I were you. Sorry for being rude but after reading that he wouldn't take you outside of your house for a year and a half I think that's the kind of thing you need to be told. If this is really how it is then you've been treated like a joke for a long time and idk how you still accept it.
Oi, this got way more attention than I wanted it to, but thanks guys, I appreciate it!>>184202
You're absolutely right, and I should have seen the signs 100 miles away, but I was so blinded from the start that I honestly threw all of it out the window and didn't care, admittedly. All the little details and how I felt during the past 10 years are really complicated–I'd be here forever if I went into all of it, but I'd probably just narrow it down to the psychology being manipulated over and over again, especially at such a young age. But the thing is, I didn't come to that realization until recently, when I really started reflecting back on this and putting the pieces together.>>184203
It's really not that I like the drama, but I will admit that I'm co-dependent on him and he's the only person I've ever been that way with. I also didn't mention it in my post, but he has insane anger management issues. He's had a restraining order against him, and harasses everyone to get an upper-hand just because he thinks it's hilarious. Sociopath, I wouldn't be surprised. If I end up dead, I wouldn't be surprised either, but maybe he has to give a shit about me to kill me so. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯>>184204
Acknowledged! >>184205>If you have any self respect you'll just leave this dude instead of talking to him and being manipulated
Thankfully as each day passes I'm getting more pissed off and more disillusioned and I just don't give a shit about what I used to want for us, so I do want to leave. My problem is that I'm scared because I don't know what the aftermath is going to be like. When he's been coming over and I think, "okay, say it NOW", but I always end up choking.
.. So it's okay for you to see your ex boyfriend, but if he does it with an ex girlfriend he's suddenly ~an abuser wah~
You both sound fucking stupid. Highly doubt most of that is even true, you seem like the type of whiny bitch to play the gender card. You deserved it and have no room to talk then, and I'm only sperging because I felt bad for you up until you contradicted yourself with thw ex situation. Lmfao shut up.
I hate it when people try to hold be accountable for someone else's actions. I'm not in control of what other people do, most of the time I'm not even aware. And if I am aware, they usually don't take my advice.
So I wish people would stop trying to make me feel accountable for the stupid shit other people do, that I don't agree with. 99% of the time if I'm associating with someone, it's not because I have a fantastic choice in the matter.
Understandable, but when it boils down to it you're the only one that can stop it. No one is holding a gun to your head, and as far as abuse goes, I've been in that with my ex but it wasn't difficult.
You can love them but if they aren't treating you with the respect you need then cut it off and don't complain about being treated badly if you're choosing to not fix your situation.
Yes, but I'm not in control of the things people do or say. I can't stop people, and it is unfair to judge me for their actions.
Yeah, fine, judge me for my response. But before I respond - before I am even aware of the actions that people are taking - why judge me for what they do? I am not God, I don't control them. I don't oversee their actions. Why should I be railed for shit that I'm not even aware of?
Or when someone says something I disagree with, all I can do is tell them to stop.
And as far as abuse goes, sometimes it is harder for some people to leave abusive situations. I was raped as a kid so I struggle to leave abusive situations. I'm not sure why I should be judged for something that I struggle with, especially when I take a proactive approach and am always trying to do better.
But at the end of the day, if I ditched every single person in my life for doing shit that is disagreeable, I would be alone. And homeless. I choose a roof over my head and a quick meal over principals.
I do apologize for being aggressive, what I'm trying to boil it down to is you know you deserve better. In my past, I've been raped as well and ontop of other types of abuse. It is hard to leave, and no I'm not saying you're in control of who says what because that's out of your hands.
What you ARE in control of is removing yourself out of that toxic environment. I know you can't just get up and go, but make a plan on how to get out of it.
Also when I mentioned cutting out people, it wasn't about disagreements(that's going to happen with any and every one). The ones that are toxic and causing you significant stress is the ones you definitely need to cut out imo.
I don't think he's doing anything shady or questionable! He's very honest and as far as I know, I'm his only major relationship, if not his only
relationship, ever. I talked to him last night about when he'd be home again (permanently), and for all we know it could be at least another half a year, best case scenario. At worst, he doesn't come home that quickly and it's another 2 or so years until he's permanently back.>>184192
Oh, I know I've got some stuff going on with regards to self-image and self esteem. I'm looking into regularly seeing a therapist again. Hopefully I can make that appointment soon and bounce ideas off of them as well.
Thank you both for listening to me and responding though!
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It does feel like bullying, he managed to have 3 more parties after this, so 6 in a row, every night.>>184051
The thing about confronting him is that i'm a fucking pussy when it comes to it. Although today I was going to finally tell him to fuck off and leave me alone but he wasn't in.. I just need to catch him when he's alone so i don't get ganged up on, which is fairly difficult.
I did complain on the 4th party of the 6 nights due to the drugs and cigarettes in my kitchen and nothing happened. Just my luck the the super old and chill security was on that night and he's not very good at telling people off. At this point i'm going to wait till i finally bump into him again and let it all out.
He started liking my Instagram pictures, knowing i would see him to that because he thinks it would upset me(?) yeah i don't know it's just super childish.
Getting the police involved is that LAST thing i would want to do but if it continues i will have to do it. I do have to live here for the next 7 months and I want to live here pretty low-key for that time.
also, yup. They were knocking on my door EVERY night of those 6 parties. Every. fucking. night. I try not to answer my door since thats giving them the attention the so clearly crave. But next time it happens I think i'm just going to run after them and at least get their picture for proof, since i have no idea who they are, they're my ex-friends bffs so apparently they know a lot about me???
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There's been another death at my college, and it seems like it's suicide. It's just so sad because this was a first year who had a whole life ahead of them. I'm not angry but just sad that they chose to take their lives instead. I had a friend commit suicide last year and I'm still pretty shook…
It also doesn't help that my school is known to be stressful for its rigorous academics and internships that students must take every alternating terms.
he's gonna fuck up his heart and die at 54. i wonder if he thinks getting swole is worth that.
Medicine helps but it's not going to take it all away. I'm in the same position as you regarding the friends/job/school part. I wish I could tell you how to make it stop but I don't even know how myself.
Just know that everything that is bad now, it won't stay that way. Little by little it will get better.
First of all, try to relax and take a deep breath. I know it feels terrible right now for you. I've been there before. It feels so dark and empty, like you've reached the end. But you have to know, that there is most definitely a future for you. There's a lot to experience in the world and the possibilities are literally endless. You might not have any idea what your future holds, but you can find it by experiencing life and taking on opportunities.
First of all though, you need a support network. It sounds like you have secluded yourself from everyone. Do you have family members you could talk to? A counselor or psychiatrist? If you don't, there is likely a hotline number you could call. Please anon, get help. As much as it doesn't seem like it, there are people who care for you and would be sad to see you go. I hope you feel better and feel free to talk here if you want.
bless you anon>>184150>>184153
Unfortunately whenever you work with people, especially old or ill/angry people, these things might happen. It doesn't make it ok but you also need to have a thick skin. Just btw if you do work with kids, you WILL hear stuff like the n-word. Kids are dumb, I remember saying Golliwog at school even though I didn't know what it meant just because other kids said it. Good luck, though.>>184190
I'm really sorry anon. Loss never truly goes away but you learn to live with it in time. Try to live as best as you can for him until you can safely remember the good times, but also be kind to yourself, there is no normal way to grieve and nobody should expect you (even you) to just get over something like this.
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I've posted in vent threads about being pissed at myself for "wanting" stimulants all the time, thinking I have a problem, and that I can never shake the quasi-addiction feeling.
Turns out I have ADD. I've had ADD my whole life. I obviously feel a lot of validation for things, but I also feel bitter that my parents didn't believe it existed or was something worth testing for. No, I don't actually blame them for anything, I more blame my father for telling me a few months ago it isn't real.
So I just sent him a message telling him that he needs to do some research and get back to me, I'm not going to waste my time convincing him that something he doesn't even believe in is real. It's more insulting that he thinks I would knowingly accept bullshit information from some random source, not a bunch of medical professionals and a family doctor whom I've seen my whole life.
So my rant is just because I've heard "pull up your bootstraps" and "try harder" and "stay positive" my whole life, wanted to kill myself multiple times over perceived failure and inability to do anything worth acknowledging, and now I realize that everything - my binge eating, my trouble focusing, my anxiety in hanging out with others, my conversational problems, they all have to do with ADD. My eating disorder, ADD. Depression, anxiety, ADD. God fucking dammit, I'M FREE!
Are you American?
Odds are your doctor is just mass-diagnosing you like everyone else.
Also it sounds as if you really want to have ADD, so I'm willing to bet you're just gonna start popping pills and using it as an excuse for everything.
For the record, it's totally possible to be a good student even with ADD, you'd just need more time to get everything done, so you're probably still just lazy.
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I'm pretty much fucked at this point. I can't go outside or interact with others because I feel like I'm dying, I can't focus on anything, can't learn anything, I feel like I'm going crazy everyday, I have no hobbies, just waiting for the days to pass me. My anxiety is so fucking bad my palms are always sweating and I feel like I'm having a heart attack, for the past couple of months it's gotten so bad I can't even go to school at all. I live in Eastern Europe and people don't even believe mental illness exist, my grandma thinks I'm possessed by the devil when I have panic attacks and my dad thinks I went ''crazy'' like my mom and I'm irrecoverable.
I'm also addicted to masturbating, I masturbate 3 times a day and been doing so since I was 10 and my kidneys hurt because of it, I'm also a huge binge eater and I pick my skin everyday and I look like a meth addict because of it.
I'm going to a psychiatric hospital next week and I'm terrified because I heard they are like jails over here but hopefully I'll get some medication.
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I am sooo fucking nostalgic today. Relieved still. Just thinking about one of my exes who was LEGIT crazy, always in and out of mental hospitals, taking electroshocks and shit. He threatened me after our breakup, destroyed every friendship he ever had, and overall was a shitty bf during our relationship but i stayed with him because, besides ~loving~ him:
1. my self esteem was zero
2. part of me thought i could 'fix' or 'save' him
3. guilt. he was good at guilt tripping me and used to say id be at fault for his suicide, so yeah
I remember one day when he started to attack me because he thought i was the soul of his dead twin reincarnated in a new body, and was mad at me because I left him to be born alone. Yeah, you read it right.
It's so easy for him to lure girls and new friends because he is very good looking and knows how to chat. A friend of mine used to say he was a narc. I completely agree with her and I actually did agree back then as well, but I couldn't break up with him at the time.
Sometimes I wonder if I could do anything to tell the world that he's insane and abusive, or find a way to stop him, but then I remember anyone who interacts with him more than three times will know that he's not mentally sound, so I shouldn't worry about other people's safety.
He's truly a shit stain of a person. I hate even thinking about him, not because I miss him, but because it reminds me of how unwell i was during that period. I let him cheat on me and do horrible stuff to me and other people. He also destroyed any kind of hope I had that most people were good or that you can blindly trust others 9don't blame me, i was very young) which is probably good but i miss the innocence.
also, sometimes i go to bed and start wondering if he's going to find me and kill me. i dont mind dying tbh, im still super depressed despite the fact I am trying to improve. but, no matter what, i dont want to die BY HIS HANDS.
Thank god we live really far and he doesn't know where I am right now and probably never will.
sometimes i wish he'd kill himself like he always said he would, just so i'd sleep better at night. i hope that doesn't make me an awful human, but it's the truth. I wonder if someday i will finally be happy and bam, he will pop up to destroy everything. our relationship ended over a year ago and i cut ties for good around Nov. He was still going after me last month.
A few weeks ago, I agreed to buy my friend some random shit off of taobao because I thought it would be a nice thing to do and she is too scared to use one. I asked for just the price of the items + shopping service fee.
The money got to me yesterday, but I couldn't pay for the SS because I was super sick. I spent the entire day sleeping. My friend was asking me what's wrong, so I told her I might have mono or strep throat. But she still insisted on finalizing the transactions today. Wtf??? I'm doing her a favor, not a job. Please, learn how to use taobao yourself if you want things done at your pace.
All of this has been rubbing me off the wrong way. She's only been texting me about looking up stuff and taobao and then asking me if the money has arrived in my bank account yet. I don't know, this makes me want to distance myself from her. >>184355
If you don't like patient care have you thought about doing medical research?
I think i might be bulimic. It's fucking stupid. I don't fit the "I'm out of control" or the "I'm cleansing myself" stereotypes, and I don't feel like any of the stuff I read about it fits me, but I still throw up. It's not about losing weight and not related to how much I eat. I just throw up. It's been going on for about two years, sometimes every day for weeks, sometimes only once every two or three weeks. I used to be very underweight but I didn't starve myself to be thin either, I would just do other things, like clean, or work instead of eating. I don't know what the fuck this is all about. I'm not this fucking earing disorder snowflake, and I can't relate to them. I'll talk to my therapist about it, I just needed to, well, vent. Jesus christ I feel so dumb.
I'm pretty much Pixielocks without the money and old and not lying to myself anymore. I fucking hate myself so much for being the most mediocre waste of opportunities ever to exist, I have had SO many opportunities and here I am, nearly 30 with no career and no velocity. I can take enough responsibility to work a minimum wage job and be self sufficient, but I can't get myself on track to an actual career or follow what are meant to be my passions. I wanted to be an artist but now I've grown up I'm just over it, I've accepted that it's never going to happen but all the people around me still expect it from me. Old friends don't want to talk to me after they hear I'm not pursuing and art career, even though I try to smile and talk positively about how I'm just focusing on living and paying my bills, they avoid me like I just told then I have a contagious disease. I like to say it would be different if I had rich family to pay for my life but even that feels like a lie. I'm miserable that it's turned out like this, people just keep rubbing salt in the wound when they won't accept it.>>184351
I went through something similar, by letting yourself think of that old stuff it's like you're still in that situation, being controlled. The best thing you can do is remove all traces of that from your life and do everything to never think about it again, or get a counselor so you can unpack it in a contained space away from your life. He's gone, don't let him stay.
I have a mental disorder because of long-term abuse during my childhood and youth. I learnt about my disorder two to three years ago when I hit rock-bottom. Then, I had really strong suicide thoughts and my depression had really ruined my life. However, I got help and even though everything was still a horrible mess I swear the suicide thoughts were gone from the moment I took that route. Fixing my life is still an on-going process though and after this time, I don't really get better at it (organizing it and stuff). Meaning instead of going on to get an apprenticeship, I'll have to go inpatient at a clinic (which will take soooo much time). I do have therapy but it's not enough. Idk, all of this is giving me a sense of defeat, I worked really hard on recovery but it looks like a normal life is still out of reach and … more gaps on my shitty resume. I'm actually terrified. As long as I have a sense of getting better, I'm good, mood is good, high hopes are up but now this. I also have these death wishes now, far from what I used to have and not at all demanding but it's like I wouldn't mind not living my life. And often I have these surreal moments where I don't want to believe this is my life, especially waking up, so .. ya … my vent on ~lolcow.farm~ lol
It's not about having a superiority complex, and i never said i didn't think bulimia is legitimate. I'm just venting about what this feels like for me. I am getting help. I guess I could have worded it differently, because my main issue is that 99% of resources I've found online seem to treat people who are dealing with this like we're out of control and made of glass, needing to be coddled.
sorry if that offended you.
I definitely get the image in your head, and I don't deny that there is a startling reluctance to reconsider handing out amphetamine salts to children, it's pretty ignorant to assume that ADHD isn't an actual debilitating thing. Not making it seem like I struggled tooth and nail my whole life, but it specifically is interfering with my career.
And, for the record, I was a good student with ADD. I got diagnosed after college, from which I did graduate. You're not the first person to equate different feelings with laziness.
Sage because you got to me anon, I feel like I fell for some classic bait.
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day hasn't been going so well and worse in a quiet house
i feel like i've emotionally recessed into the moody emo kid i was in high school because i can't process whats happening
every passing minute feels like toture
just waiting for the worst to finally materialize into existence
either way, it's a break from my usual obsessive self-hatred
That depends, if he's still close friends with them or only recently came out of a very long relationship with them, then it's to be expected, but if they broke up long ago and aren't a part of each other's lives anymore then he's fixating.
Either way there's nothing wrong with saying that it bothers you, and reaching a compromise.
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I get what you're saying. I don't get angry when I see children, but sometimes I get anxious because I am fearful of how they perceive me. I also don't want to be even close to a bad influence, even in passing, so it makes me stumble all over myself trying to interact with a kid.
You're not degenerate, the only way anon could know for sure is if they knew you, but this is lolcow, where we're all ready to rip each other apart.
Yeah, we were all kids at some point. Some day we will all be corpses. Doesn't mean I've got to be comfortable with a corpse in the room. :^)
In all seriousness, there's nothing wrong with hating or even just feeling uncomfortable around children. I feel really awkward around kids and have no desire to have any. Some kids can be cute, I suppose, when they're polite or curious about learning. More than the kids, I can't stand their crazy entitled parents. The kids are learning by terrible examples.
It will be fine anon almost all the girls here went to japan and theyre fine.
I noticed most of this board is just closet weebs.
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I've posted in the ps thread before, but posting here again for visibility since I want to hear multiple people's opinions about this/don't trust my own.
Do you guys think top pic is a difficult nose shape to fix? I'm going to get a nose job soon and it pretty much looks like the top picture.
I'd very much like to get the result the lady in the picture had, and I have very delicate features so the bulbous, bumpy nose just makes me look ugly. What do you think she had done, what should I suggest to the doctor? Ofc he's going to give his opinion too and we'll decide what to do together.
Third, my doctor is very well-respected and so many women sing his praises, but very recently one lady's told me that he doesn't care about the end result and that there were others who were unhappy but didn't say anything out loud. How likely is it that he'll fuck my face up?
Fourth, if I get the tip reduced and raised slightly, will it sag over time? Will it be noticeable that I had rp when I get old(er)?
Basically I'm shitting myself because of that lady's comment and want to make sure things go as well as I can hope.
Pls respond :(
Idk if this is your case anon, but I had bulimia before. I really liked the sensation of throwing up, it was cathartic to some extend. It was a way to cope with shit happening in my life during that time and the suicidal tendencies that I've had for the most part of my life (still managing not to kill my self tho). I didn't give a fuck about being slim or wathever, I did it just because it felt good. The joy of self destruction at the palm of your hand (or just a finger, sorry for the bad pun lol).
Talk with your therapist about it. Even when it feels fine, it's not cool having bulimia cheeks, horrible stained teeth and stomach pains.
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I'm disappointed as well anon, but I honestly don't think that it's a terrible game. The gameplay is decent, though some animations in cut scenes are wack, even for Bioware. The writing is what bothered me the most, really. The plot doesn't support the game very well, so small things like visual bugs and creepy animation seem worse. Also that horrible excuse for a CC doesn't help things. Bioware isn't what it used to be after that shitstorm of an ME3 ending.
They're still marketing Mass Effect towards dudebros which explains all the M/F and lbh, the lesbian romances are for them as well. If you're talking about the Jaal fiasco, it was kinda low of Bioware to bait on twitter that broRyder could romance him. If they had said outright from the start that he'd only be available to femRyder they could have avoided this altogether. Even so, I am more confused as to why Liam and Cora aren't bi, cause y'know, Jaal's an alien.
I still like the game, but I'm disappointed because of what it could have been. It doesn't deserve the hate though. Memes for sure, but not the kind of vitriol I've been seeing on boards/forums. Lastly, I actually think Sara is kinda pretty? But I'll never be able to unsee things like pic related. She looks legitimately retarded in some scenes, which is just a shame.
sage for sperg
It's a shame that so many big companies that used to make really great games are slowly becoming worse. OR at least it's more noticeable.
Ubisoft, TellTale, Bethesda, etc.. Or maybe it's just a bad game for gaming. Either way, it's a shame.
While the Jaal thing was poorly handeled, I could do without him being a male romance. And I get having more characters to romance for dudebros. But no fleshed out m/m romance what so ever? Even ME3 had that. And DA:I got so much praise for having romances for everyone. Was Bioware thinking "Gee our fans loved that, lets never do that again".
I think the game deserves all the hate it got. It is a game made by a huge company with a big budget, and was supposed to be a fresh start for the series. It should't have the problems it has. But when you hire people for being "inclusive" and "progressive" instead of being good writers and animators, I guess this is what you get.
Pfffffft you fucking graduated didn't you? You slogged through years of hard work whilst managing shitty health. Your mum should be grateful that you're dedicated and successfully earned a diploma and education, not bitching because it wasn't fast enough for her liking.
Has she gotten a degree since the 70's? She's probably got no idea what it's like.
Your mom is overreacting. You're probably putting yourself through a lot to achieve this much. Seconding what >>184591
said. Your mom shouldn't rag on you for taking a little extra time. That happens a lot, honestly, and it's nothing to be ashamed of. You'll feel a lot better when it's over. I sincerely hope you find a job doing something that makes you happy and that you can rest easy soon.
>>184564>Do you guys think top pic is a difficult nose shape to fix?
Absolutely not, it's pretty easy to fix.>What do you think she had done, what should I suggest to the doctor?
Show him pictures of the result you'd like on yourself. If you're not familiar with rhinoplasty's language, pictures talk more than words. And even if you're familiar with it, pictures are better. >Third, my doctor is very well-respected and so many women sing his praises, but very recently one lady's told me that he doesn't care about the end result and that there were others who were unhappy but didn't say anything out loud. How likely is it that he'll fuck my face up?
There will ALWAYS be people unhappy with the result. This count for every surgeon in the world, as good as he can be. Hell, on realself there's even people who went to Grigoryants that ended up with a result they don't like.
Literally everything that counts is the happy/unhappy patients ratio. What do happy patients say about the doctor? Is he honest? Does he care about fulfilling your request? Also, you shouldn't panic because of something "a lady told you" because there are people paid by other surgeons to badmouth their "rivals". Look at your surgeon's works, do you like his style? Search for more opinions. But keep in mind that for every surgeon there will always be people unhappy with the result, and it's natural because some people have unrealistic/impossible standards (for ex. "I have a giant bulbous nose and I want a tiny Kardashian one! What, why did it come out slightly bigger than a Kardashian nose? Yes I know that I have thick skin and my nose was big, b-but it's the surgeon's fault!") or didn't communicate enough with the doctor. Speak up about your request, don't be afraid to annoy him since it's his job and it's better to be annoying that ending up with a nose you don't like.>Fourth, if I get the tip reduced and raised slightly, will it sag over time? Will it be noticeable that I had rp when I get old(er)?
Eh, honestly I don't know. He could use grafts to raise your tip. I don't think a rhinoplasty nose could sag worse than a natural one tbh.
I wrote an essay, hope it helped
That helped a lot, thank you so much!
I've hated my nose since I was 13 or so, so I'm super happy to get it done, I just don't want to replace it with something even worse.
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Same, I was around 13-14 when I started being self conscious about my nose and I'm currently turning 22 and saving money, in max 2 years I should make it.
Another thing is that you should have realistic expectations: from the side view your nose already seems easy cake, I don't know about the front, but for example a person with a bulbous nose can only expect a reduction of max 30% of its original width, more than 30% would mean a collapse for sure. Check out Bella Hadid's nose: can you see that weird shadow on the middle of the nose bridge? It's called "inverted v" and happens when the surgeon takes out too much cartilage in order to reduce, more than 30%, or when he digs out the bridge too much in order to give a "ski slope" shape from the side, and the nose starts collapsing. The inverted v will be more and more visible, and it's not just an aesthetic problem because your nose slowly loses its ability to breath and you will have to get a revision surgery by a good doctor. This to say, choose wisely and avoid those surgeons who promise you a Kim Kardashian nose despite your starting point. When I was 15 being the innocent girl I was I sent a mail to an infamous surgeon in my country, known to reduce large noses like crazy (now everyone avoids him like the plague because he fucked up too many people) including pics of my nose and the nose of my dreams of then asking him if it was possible and then? He told me that "everything is possible" and that's a HUGE red flag because it's a blatant lie, surgery is not Photoshop, he was not being honest. Not everything is possible, there's a limit and if your surgeons tells you otherwise he's lying.
Thanks for sharing your experience, anon! Every little bit helps, I appreciate it a lot.
From the front my nose looks okay, the bridge looks prominent because it's too 'tall' (projects too far away from the face) and the tip is kind of bulbous, but not potato-tier by any means. It seems longer than it is because of the hump and lowered tip. If I had it done it would still look like my nose from the front, just a tad shorter (and imo more flattering and less wonky) because of the raised tip and no hump.
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forgot reaction image
I have completely fucked up my life.
I got a full ride scholoarship to school, and I'm going to graduate to work at Target.
I don't even think I'm going to move up like they promised, I was hired under the impression that they wanted to use me for what my degree was in but I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a cashier pretty much all the time despite that not being on the job offer form.
I'm going to struggle to make my basic needs, live in the same state for the rest of my life, and live alone in a tiny apartment that I picked so I can walk to work, because I also don't have a car.
I'll have to put all my money into savings for emergencies, an eventual car, and to pay off any medical bills that I know will be ahead in my future, I have BPD and bipolar, I'll have to pay for meds, and therapy, and always have backup on hand in case I wind up in the psych ward again.
I'll come home to an empty house, no boyfriend, no pet, and right now no roommate, eat cheap food, and just make enough to eek out a sad little life by myself.
I really just want to die.
You could always find a new job. It's not the end. Your life isn't fucked up.
Graduating from college in itself is a big achievement. What degree did you graduate with?
don't be a teenage edgelord, all cocaine does is make you feel anxious, trembly, and stupidly invincible. if you want the experience, go chug 18 energy drinks and empty the contents of your wallet into a toilet. it's also way addictive and if you're stupid enough to be like 'omg i wanna do coke', you're going to get your dumb ass addicted and be like toopoor
t. someone who had a coke problem
jumpin on this train. its not that great. youre missing out on nothing. i think people hype up stupid shit as teenagers like omg drugs and have stupid amounts of sex early and paaaaarrrtay because youll miss out!! because its edgy and ~*cool*~
in reality, its pretty tryhard. i mean, i feel like even after the initial being able to legally buy cigarettes and booze and freaking out about that, the glamour dies out and it turns out it doesnt turn you into a super cool version of yourself. same with drugs. you just end you being you with a bad habit.
and i'm definitely not about to go buy any dang coke don't worry. Don't even know where I'd get some. I realize it's dumb and edgy which is why I'd only ever admit it on an imageboard.
I heard a lot of ppl who dislike coke go to South America and try it. They end up loving it since its of a higher quality than what they usually can get.
Costa rica is a country I'm thinking of
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I get how you feel and want to send you a cyber-hug, anon. It's hard when you have to work a lot for what feels like nothing
In that, I wanna include every poor soul that didn't get answered even though they may have hoped for an answer (then again it's mostly about writing it out right)
, my best friend was columbian and i lived in miami, i got the good south american shit, trust me. you don't come to dislike it because it's not good enough shit, you come to dislike it because you're always chasing the good parts of it as they diminish, until you're only doing it to keep yourself from feeling sick and shaky. coke is not some 'omg lel i smoked a blunt at a party' kind of shit where you can just go on a bender and quit cold turkey with no repercussions.
sorry to sound rustled as fuck but that was a stupid-ass argument. its like "oh if you dont like smirnoff ice, just try grey goose instead, you'll end up loving it" - when the point is don't fucking seek out substances to be cool in the first place. same shit as people who start smoking cigarettes bc cool people do it. >>184713
A couple of weeks ago I got to knew my ex boyfriend (who recently broke up with me) got himself a new gf and doing the maths it all seems like he had been cheating on me for at least 4 months. He didn't care that we were together 4 years and I tried to support him both emotionally and financially, even though my parents weren't approving the relationship.
What bothers me the most is how this girl has been chasing him for almost all of the time that we were together and how he couldn't even tell me about her existence, while every damn time I went out with friends I told him about who they were. Though I blocked him, when I was deleting chat-logs I saw that his new profile picture was a photo of her, while he was caressing her face or hair.
He never did any of those things with me because "he didn't feel any bond with people" and "because I was the only one he talked to" he wanted me to be patient. Fuck it, really, I don't even miss him at this point, it just makes me so mad to have put so much effort in a relationship with a robot, rock or no-sense-being.
The girl is pretty cute and that also drives me nuts because my self esteem problems, which almost disappeared, are rising again.
I wish Karma existed. At least I don't cry anymore.
>>184732>coke is not some 'omg lel i smoked a blunt at a party' kind of shit where you can just go on a bender and quit cold turkey with no repercussions.
Eh, I did exactly that. I actually did it on a daily basis for over six months and when it became too hard to buy more I just quit it cold turkey because it wasn't really an addiction.
Not everyone who do coke end up with a problem, anon.
But then again, I never liked it that much, I much prefer alcohol.
Why say shit like that when people, probably kids, are talking about trying it? THEY might end up being the ones with a problem.
And maybe you didn't have a problem where when you decided to stop and found you couldn't, but you did have a problem where you wasted money on and used a drug daily for 6 months that "I never even liked that much".
>>184767>Not everyone who do coke end up with a problem, anon.
not everyone who plays russian roulette gets shot, so it's totally safe to try it!
you realize how dumb you sound? why would you risk starting on a stupid, expensive, addictive behavior just for cool points? is your self confidence that cripplingly low?>>184769
You sure are right, but the other anon isn't wrong either. Some people just don't become addict.
I honestly would be curious to know why.
I got a major in apparel marketing with a concentration in visual merchandising, and a minor in business.>>184702
23 now, and I can't justify grad school now, but I'm considering it in the future, maybe even in something far outside my original degree.
I mean, they like me at work and my manager said she was going to move me into makeup for my next shift (I love makeup) and I'm doing visuals in April, so maybe I'm just starting slow?
I just don't want to wind up poor and bored. I want to make just enough to travel a bit and indulge in my weeb hobbies privately, and that's it. >>184722
Thanks Anon, I really hope we can all feel better, I love you bitches.
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a (not very close) friend of mine on fb is constantly posting writing memes like pic related and i just want to scream A WRITER IS SOMEONE WHO ACTUALLY FUCKING WRITES INSTEAD OF POSTING MEMES ABOUT IT every time. if he wrote a single page for every fucking writing meme he posted, he'd have a goddamn book and could call himself an actual writer by now. he constantly posts infographics about how to actually start writing/how to overcome writers block but never uses any of the damn advice.
i'm bothered bc i've written 4 books, totaling well over 1000 pages. recently, i wrote a 250 page novella in two weeks as a way of catharsis/something to keep me from breaking my streak of sobriety. it isnt that goddamn hard to write; just fucking put words on paper. even if they suck, even if you know it's the worst shit you've ever spewed, you have to charge through or you'll never find your stride.
>but anon, how do you know he isn't writing
firstly, he's lamented to me about how hard it is to even get started, so no fucking way he's got more than 3 shitty pages at best. secondly, he's a chronic oversharer, so every page he wrote would come along with an 'omg such an author XD' post on facebook.
also, i don't honestly believe that anyone who shares goddamn writing memes is an actual writer. they're a wannabe, a poser, but not an actual writer. some people are just NOT MEANT TO BE WRITERS, even if they feel they have a story to tell. having an idea for a book doesn't make you a goddamn writer, it's ACTUALLY WRITING THE THING that makes you a goddamn writer.
>but anon, why not just unfollow him?
a good friend of mind asked me to befriend him bc he's going through a personal struggle that i made it through before, and he's really in need of good people to form a support group. he's honestly not a bad guy, besides being way entrenched in fandom in that tumblr way. besides, the stupid memes are only a small part of what he posts, and the rest ranges from kind of genuinely funny to amusing in an almost /snow/-tier cringe way. i try to block the pages that he gets all these fucking memes from but they seem to come from a different one each time.
>but anon, why not tell him this?
again, i dont know him very well and it would be mean af sounding no matter how i did it, it'd just seem like i was unnecessarily shitting on his dreams to totally be the next JK rowling.
I feel like since I've moved out of my parents' house last month I've relied more on alcohol to cope with depression than before. Like, I know that I could/should be on some sort of meds because I was on them for awhile while in college (but I got them through the school's counselling center and that required appointments that basically boiled down to sessions with me going 'my mom's expectations o me screwed me up because she had no one to push her, therefore she was way too hard on me growing up and grounded for getting B's on progress reports and shit and comparing to literally any I grew up with but raging at me when I did the same'… and that wasn't productive. Like, I know why I am sad. That, and they somehow managed to make my already underweight self to lose more weight (I went from 105bs to 90-95lbs at 5'4 with no effort or real diet change… which also concerning for both parents and professors I was close with. Friends, for some reason, didn't notice or care)
… but since I've graduated and been off of things and now shoved into the real world™, I really feel like I need to get back on them but have no idea how because I never went to doctors normally as a child so I have no idea how to schedule appointments or even a fucking general check-up because I never did that growing up despite having fucking health insurance and it pains me because I'm already anxious as hell about shit like this.
So, I guess for anons that went off of meds for awhile, would it be easier to bring, like, a old bottle to show that "hey, I was on these before and would like I get back on them" in regards to medication? Or what? I literally have no idea how to function in a doctor's office because my parents were really indifferent towards any sort of 'hey, can I get a general check-up/bloodwork done' anytime I would bring it up? Because they still are that way and, like, I want help but I'm on their insurance.
I think drinking 2-3 drinks a night alone (be it beer or liquor-based) isn't healthy behavior for a 24 year old and I want to get better… but I just.
I just can't do it on my own because I always pass shit off as a joke to any sort of friends I have.
If you are desperate go to any strip club and ask any girl, she will direct you in the right place.
Sauce: was a stripper in college. Kek
stress at work that got build up, the day after it, I realised it was related to hormones too since my period started then. I always get weird the day before my period.
I'm doing better now, just once in a while I seem to burst.
I feel you there, I'm the same with my period. Even if I feel great all week, on the night before my period (usually friday night, great way to start the week-end) I get a huge fit and can't stop crying for like 2 hours. I just find all the reasons I can to hate myself and everything. And when I get my period on the next day I just feel so stupid…
Speaking of which I'm going to stop taking birth control soon since I'm abroad and I'm so scared I'll go back to crying like this regularly instead of just once a month. BC makes my period super regular, I hope it won't get too messed up after stopping.
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Fucking Hell, i need to vent.
Basically i'm in 2nd year Uni. This guy who has had no friends for his entire uni experience was talking on this anon app called Yik Yak. I reached out to him since they mentioned they were in the same year and course.
We have 2 group work assignments this year and i thought,hey, more the merrier.
I reached out to him and told him our friend groups discord info etc and told him to join if he wants to take up the offer.
2 weeks go by and he finally joins.
Now my friends are very offensive. Racism, sexism etc. It's that kind of friendship where everyone is aware of each others "pushing point" so anything other than that point is basically free rein and anyone can say it.
I made him aware of it and told him to please tell us if anything we say is too much and we will stop immediately. He told us nothing offends him but if something comes up he'll tell us. After about a week he starts making sexual comments about me and my boyfriend, who everyone was just confused as since my gender or my relationship never comes into question. We just chose to ignore it.
A month goes by, he's really weird and the classic nerdy virgin. He wears the same clothes day in and day out, smells a bit, but he's a good worker and I normally don't judge people like that. The deadline for our first group assignment is due, he's becoming more and more odd. It gets to the point where i'm begging him to tell me what part of the work he's done so i can complete it and hand it in. The night before hand in we got the group on discord and talked it all out and did a massive chunk of the work. I tell him i will go into uni early the next day to finish up any work. I get no reply and he leaves voice chat because someone was playing his youtube vids over voice comms, telling us that he's busy and to leave him alone. I go into uni the next day early and I let him know that I will be there incase he needs any help with his part of the work. I get to uni, no hello or look in my direction. He's clearly still upset from lastnight so i leave him to it. Every 20 mins or so I keep asking him if he's okay and if he needs help since im sitting around doing nothing. "yeah anon everything is fine". We had to show this work in a demonstration that day he said he was done and it was fine. We get to the demonisation and his part work isn't there and he's deleted a good amount of the work because it was "broken". We end up with a bare minimum pass grade at 40%, it pisses me off because I always try to get 70%+ on my work for my degree.
Fastforward to today. I tell everyone i'm going into to uni early to finish up the work that is due in for tomorrow if anyone needs help with their part let me know and i'll do my best. I made a colour coded Google doc for everyone to write down their tasks and if they needed help. He was in a mood all day, assuming from last weeks group work grade that he fucked up. He was complaining that I wrote down tasks on the google doc that we dont need to do. All i said was that i copied and pasted them from the assignment specification so we know what we need for a good grade. He continues to tell me to fuck off. Since he told me to fuck off I told him to fuck off and kys because I cba with this shit the 2nd time in a day before hand-in. the other people in the group don't like him because he deletes stuff from the work and doesn't tell us. He proceeded to bring my relationship into it which has nothing to do with uni since he's a kissless virgin, stood up, slammed his chair down and stormed out the class.
mfw I have to try to get him to come onto discord tonight and do work with the rest of us when he will still having an "episode".
Let this be a lesson to you anons. Don't befriend the friendless kid in the corner of the class, they're friendless for a reason.
Fuck that. Can't you kick him out ? He's actively sabotaging the group. I had to deal with someone like that and after two times in a row, we would keep the person out of the current states of affair, give them a bullshit job (either something we could go without or something someone also did as back up) and just get the job done between us. It's not fair to have more job to do but it's better than failing because of an idiot.
You could also go nuclear and go to the teacher but eh, wouldn't advise it.
You look chubby at a 16 BMI? Looks like a bad case of body dismorphia to me, Anon.
And if your bf got with you hoping your body would be better in the future, he's a fucking asshole and I understand where those deep self-esteem issues come.
I suggest a good hard look at the fact that the standards in your head might be fucked up and maybe an appointment with a psychologist if it's distressing you this much. You deserve better than feeling this bad.
Most people when they are underweight have a flat stomach with no fat on it, I still had the stomach of a chubby person including a fat person's bellybutton, while I could play my ribs like a xylophone. And even then I only had a very small thigh gap and looked in general nowhere near underweight.
He's not an asshole, he's just very big on self improvement. He in general expects me to become better in the future and is now just bearing with me with some of my flaws.
Yeah, i will take full responsibility for taking him in. He's just such a fucking autistic child.>>184860
We want to kick him out but it's the day before hand in and i don't think we can at this point even if we took it higher up. the only thing we can do it give him a lower contribution percentage. Everyone is graded out of 100% and i'm thinking about giving him 80% and splitting the extra 20% between the rest of us.>>184861
He is basically an Elliot. His nickname is Gollum since he look and acts like him, turns out even in Highschool he had the same nickname and my friends gave him that name too, says something really. I'm going to cut off all ties after this assignment hand-in tomorrow. If he continues I will report him.
One thing I didn't mention is that he did hit me once, nothing super hard or bruise worthy, but he hit me. He says it was a joke but I don't think so. After that our whole group and my bf got onto him for it and I think that was his big shut down moment.
Welp, regardless, it was really nice of you to try to include him at first. Not all shy people are fucking weirdos.
But yeah, time to cut your losses.
One google search 'underweight with belly' will tell you otherwise. Seriously, anon, it's unhealthy to think like this. You're never going to have a godess body, there are always going to be flaws.
People with perfect fat distribution, no cellulite, and incredible muscle tone (while being a woman - yep, it's harder for you than it is for your bf) are super rare.
And I get wanting to self improve, it's great. It's great you've been working this hard on yourself.
You know what's not so great? Feeling like killing yourself despite all these efforts because your expectations are never going to match reality.
And finally, yes. He is kind of assholish. You don't get with people with 'flaws' in the hope they'll match your expectations later. I get that you can ask that someone do their best and keep up but there, it sounds like he has you convinced that you're shit and full of flaws while he is incredible. That's not pushing you to be your best self, it's bringing you down and borderline abusive.
I'm gonna jump on the "your boyfriend is an asshole" train. I don't give a shit if he has the body of a Greek god. My boyfriend is gorgeous as in I've compared him to a Greek god like you have compared your bf (seriously,) skinny, and has lean arm/leg muscle, and he would never think of expecting me to "improve" my already skinny body. He's told me if I gain weight, that's just more to hold.
I'm insecure about my waist measurements too. I calculated my BMI and I'm about yours. Very skinny, can't build muscle, etc. Your stomach is "big" because it's a fucking organ. If you tone it, it'll look different, but normal skinny people have a bit of a belly unless they stretch.
If you want to eat healthier and exercise, good on you, but your boyfriend's desire for you to improve yourself crosses from reasonable and into borderline abusive.
I'm not skinny, I'm skinnyfat, I'm more fat than skinny. It looks really really bad. Plus I already gained a shitton of weight, I'm almost at a healthy weight now, so I look like an absolute cow now. I have no idea why he hasn't dumped me yet.
My waist is fine, it's my stomach that's the problem. It aren't organs pushing it out, it's actual fat that jiggles when I so slightly move.
He's really not abusive. Isn't it normal to want your girlfriend to be at least a bit attractive? He likes fit girls that's all. He's also constantly busy with improving himself as well, it's not hypocritical.
I am going to say this again: this is not healthy. BMI isn't always the best measure, and fast weight gain isn't either, but your boyfriend going in expecting you to improve yourself to be on "his level" is abusive. >I'm almost at a healthy weight now, so I look like an absolute cow now
And this alone is a really, really bad indicator of your mental state. Exercise if you want or need to, but your bf should not be discouraging you from being a healthy weight. If you're not fit enough for him, that's not your problem. He is not above you.
what about thyroid issues? snoring?
some people who snore can sleep for hours but they don't REST
The idea that he is "perfect" or that you don't need to have expectations of him because he's already ~fit~ but he does of you is wrong. He should fucking love you as you are and if he does, he will change his tune after hearing how upset you are over this. Another anon said it's harder to gain muscle as a woman and she was right. He needs to stop expecting your body to act the same way as his. You need a certain amount of fat to have your uterus function correctly without being doubled over in pain every month.
Just do you know I'm not just being mean to your bf, my bf likes skinny/petite girls. But he loves me, so he's not going to drag my self-esteem into the dirt because I age or gain some weight, because he's not going to look the same forever either.
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My boyfriend doesn't care about me gaining weight, as long as it's the right weight, muscle. He wouldn't mind me looking like Lina Lansberg (ufc fighter), he isn't expecting me to look like some petite ballerina. The problem is I've only been gaining fat, probably 0 muscle. So I look like absolute shit and I am terrified to see him soon. I have more fat on my stomach than necessary, not just the amount that is vital, I mean actual chubby levels.
See? It's only "allowed" if it's the "right" weight. That's where my problem is. No one should have that level of control of your body if you're just a bit chubby. You aren't severely overweight, and for all we know, you may be putting on weight because of thyroid or hormonal issues beyond your control.
(Fwiw I look like the UFC fighter you sent actually, I'm just way less muscular and more curvy in the hips. Remember that she is an athlete and that's what she does for a living
so of course she's super fit!)
k but which greek god? Zeus? Apollo? Hephaestus? Priapus? is he a bull or a swan or maybe a donkey??
sage for bad mythology joke
Oh they know about my issues and I'm already seeing a psych, and they still encouraged me to lose more. I'm from the Netherlands.
I know I can't lose weight and target my stomach. I said I was trying to gain muscle, but instead I'm just gaining fat.
Yeah, are you sure those were real doctor? Or are you somehow made entirely out of fat while being uderweight?
It getting so delusionnal I'm either really concerned or starting to think you're trolling.
Please, this is not healthy, physically or mentally.
You could change what you're eating and start doing more weight exercises, but I'm going to reiterate that it's really _really_ not okay how you're being made to feel about yourself.
My brother is actually overweight and he's becoming so obsessive that he's compulsively exercising and has an eating disorder. That's not better than being fat.
Ok, you're psychiatrist SHOULD NOT be encouraging this. Are you kidding?
I'm from Belgium, I know what people are supposed to look like here. You're not going to tell me that this is the 'normal' here. >>184898
Well, you should get yourself to some scientist asap, 'cause it's incredible. Like 'we're going to power giant robots with it' incredible.
He only looks like him, in personality I can't exactly compare him to Greek gods since most seems to be quite scummy. >>184900
All I'm doing are weight exercises… I don't really like cardio, but obviously since I'm Dutch I still cycle a bit. >>184901
My GP is encouraging me, my psych doesn't really care. Most Dutch women look like tall skinny super models with huge tits, I look like a fat hobbit child, I don't look normal.
And I just meant I have very little muscle and a high fat percentage, that's not exactly impossible while being underweight. Skinnyfat is a thing.
To add to this, my psychiatrist was concerned I lost 13kg over six month after stopping neuroleptics and while being almost obese BMI wise.
No legit doctor is going to see rapid loss of weight or being underweight (not even talking about encouraging it) as good. I think you're full of shit on this one, honestly.
Is your doctor a skeleton in a labcoat ? If so, I'm sorry but I have to tell you this is not a legit doctor.
You should see a live doctor, anon.
Dr. Anachan jfc. You need to see a different doctor. And I know for a fact that not all Dutch women look like that.
If stereotypes like that were always true, I'd either be a complete lardass shopping at Walmart or a bikini girl with a crisp tan
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Found a pic of anon's GP. Looks a little chubby for my taste, tbh.
Being a needy person in a LDR is the worst. My neediness really dropped after I got in a IRL relationship, tho.
And 6 year is an awfully long time. Is there any end to this, a future where you live together?
Wtf are you me? I feel like that pretty badly sometimes but am able to chill out at others. We're probably moving in a couple of years but haven't been together nearly as long as you.
Odd as it may sound, having a shared hobby helps. Appreciate each other and work together on stuff. It's way too easy to take someone for granted after that long and even if your days are boring, it's worth asking how you're doing. My bf and I ask each other how were doing and say good night almost every day. We're just happy to hear how each other are doing even when we don't have much to discuss.
I feel you
I feel you so hard
I haven't been with my ldr bf very long (less than a year) but if he as much as takes over 30 minutes to respond I start getting anxious and nervous and think he finally realized I'm shit and doesn't want to talk to me anymore.
But, anon, six years is way too long. I second >>184911
Maybe you're skinnyfat and have a high fat%…? Just trying to make sense out of this woman you call a doctor
Yup, it is. :/
We're actually working on an apartment. There's still a lot to do but I think it's worth it.
We also started dating when we were 16, so…ya
I've been saying already that I just have a serious case of being skinnyfat. But people seem to think that's impossible. >>184917
Naja moet je maar lekker zelf weten dan hè
I lost my virginity at age 23. Sometimes it takes longer for people to have sex for the first time. I know telling you not to worry won't work out but yeah, try not to worry way too much.
Also, slightly OT but jesus, girls need to stop faking these super cringy noises like hentai. Last time I had sex was pretty nice but she wouldn't stop with the strident noises and it was bothering me so fucking much.
idk if it's really something to vent about, more me just overthinking.
I've always thought streaming/youtube would be fun to do. Not make a career of it or anything but I love games, I'm pretty witty/funny and it would just be fun.
I told current bf about it and he went and bought me a few basic things to start streaming, but now I'm hesitant and keep putting it off.
The main reason is a few years ago I was in an ldr with a guy who, after I broke it off, spread my nudes around online, gave out my phone number, and stalked and harassed me online for almost two years. I left the internet for awhile, deleted all my stuff, changed the names I went by online.
Things have died down but I know for a fact he found my old Instagram a few months ago.
Even if I go by a new name, I look different ( lost weight, new hair, etc. ) and even though I surely won't have a massive following or anything, I'm so afraid of having any kind of presence online anymore because of him.
I'm so paranoid about it but my bf is being so supportive and excited for me I just want to let loose and have a little fun but I can't seem to let it go.
Hey if that creep spreads your nudes or stalks you he's committing a crime and you're 100% right to prosecute him. Fuck it, some scumbag with a grudge shouldn't get to decide whether you do something fun online or not.
Obviously it's not this way with everyone but I think the majority of people, if they watched your channel and found him spreading your old nudes they'd be just as disgusted with him.
in the beginning of my relationship i wanted sex all the time
because it was first non-ldr and i craved physical and sexual contact. we would have sex a modest amount of times, later on he never wanted it anymore. he would rebuff my advances and i slunk away hurt and dejected. then i was hit with hormonal turmoil which removed any amount of sex drive i had left.
blah blah years of nothing downstairs for me blah we would only have sex a few times a year (our birthdays, valentines etc). he would ask every now and then, years after i lost my drive; i would rebuff him because i didn't want to and a few times i was being petty.
we haven't had sex in nearly 2 years.
i ask him if he wants sex sometimes, even if it's just him getting off. i feel the contact alone would bring us closer as a couple, but he usually doesn't want to. i feel like a glorified roommate and it has fucked me right up.
i can't tell if i am average, below average or what in the looks department. i've been told both and i genuinely don't know where to go for an ubiased rate.
when i was 16 i asked /soc/ and i got everything from a 4 to a 9, depending on how sad and lonely the guy that rated me was.
i feel weird and dissociative. i am too scared to ask anyone. i wish there was a way of being privately rated without having to post my picture online where people could find it.
i have always wanted to be one of the pretty girls since i was a child. idk. you're not meant to care as much as i do but my obsession with my looks has distorted my perception so much i don't even know how ugly i am anymore.
Your phrasing confuses me a little, do you mean you don't care ABOUT atheists unless they're the awful edgelord types?
Or do you mean you don't care for atheism as in you dislike the entire belief?
I totally agree about retards jumping on the spiritualist/enlightened/shoving crystals up their arse trend. It's embarrassing to reject say, Christianity as stupid but then say that minerals emit auras or having some old Chinese man stick needles in you will cure disease.
Most of them just like the look of "gypsy" look (racist little fucks tbh) and just go along with the ignorant hippy/tribal thing to keep up appearances imo. The ones who truly believe it are too stupid to be allowed out alone though.
lol, I'm getting it, I don't know if it's helping anymore. I haven't seen my therapistin weeks, I don't see her until early April.
I'm seriousy considering taking heavier drugs for it, like litium, or looking into ECT therapy or something.
BPD and bipolar, I did have BDD on my chart but I don't think it's as intrusive. I've been in DBT therapy for about two years now and it was working really well until recently.
It's weird because I was pretty used to being alone most of my life. I was isolated and basically sheltered growing up.
How old was he?
It's a scummy move but sometimes young make stupid decisions without thinking it through and later regret it.
Sorry you're triggered
that your dad told you to clean your room :(
So why bring it up like a petulant 15 year old who wasn't given the right colour iPhone?
Look up shelters and domestic violence services in your area and seek help.
I didn't ask because it made me sick just hearing about it. I'm guessing he was in his mid twenties or so, maybe earlier. He said he felt guilty about it sometimes.>>185010
Sorry to hear anon. Lying about is even worse. Did you confront him?
Do you think he's feeling insecure about his body and that's why he doesn't want to have sex? Have you tried with the lights off etc? It sounds stupid but sometimes just touch and no sight can be relaxing and intimate and lets you not feel insecure.
If he doesn't want sex now but he used to, you should talk about why. It may be an uncomfortable topic for both of you but if you don't find out what's bugging him it will hurt you more and more.
Mid-twenties isn't that old. Your twenties are for figuring things out and it sounds like you've found yourself in a shitty situation with an abusive person.
Is it not safe/viable to move back in with your parents for a while? What's the bureaucratic part of this?
It's not just relaxing, it's being able to do it. He has no stamina and a big belly. Honestly, it turns me off and we can't get very var anyway and I end up frustrated.
We tried to talk about it multiple times but we get nothing out of it. He's sorry we're not having it and that's it.
wellll this is different for every couple and TMI but does he give you oral? Because like, even if he has no stamina because of his fitness (which I find hard to believe because I dated an unfit fat guy who smoked and he didn't find it hard to have sex) -even then, if he's not interested in having sex with you in other ways, oral, fingering etc then that sounds like it's a problem with drive not ability if you know what I mean.
If you guys used to have a healthy sex life and it's gone out the window it has to be mostly psychological.
I understand the frustration thing, anon. I've wanted to cry in the past from disappointing sex lol
feels bad man.
Well, I don't like oral, so that's moot. But yeah, I guess I'll try again getting us in shape.
But honestly, it's hard getting myself motivated, I already had to work like crazy to get my weight in check. Having to motivate him on top of that seems impossible.
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I've slept around with a fair share of men, but lately I've been hooking up with this guy I met on Tinder, and holy shit every time we've done it has been amazing. In the past week I've been over to his place three times and we've had amazing sex each time. Doesn't hurt that he's pretty hot and has a pretty cool personality.
I've always though that I've had a pretty terrible sex drive. Even though I've had a lot of sex, I never really craved it? so to speak. But I guess me and this guy must have just clicked because we've been at it like rabbits ever since we met. I guess I'm just really happy because I haven't been this 'satisfied' in a while
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I honestly dislike how makeup looks on hooded eyes. Most of the time you can't see more than half of it and having to put on makeup above my eyelid feels retarded af. I never really know if I overdid it or if it looks alright.
Not to mention how a shit ton of tutorials which are meant for hooded eyes, are preformed on none hooded eyes. Like, great. I'm so salty about this lol
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Fuck that ugly, fat, multi hair coloured cow I served at work today, I asked if it was "just that" after scanning your item and asking for your store savings card, you said yes, somehow every single other person I have ever served in retail knows that I was asking if they wanted cash out and asks for whatever amount they want.
But no, not you you bitch that you wanted cash out and that you were not asked for it before storming off and didn't allow me to ask if you wanted it out after the fact.
You screwed yourself out of not having money you dumb mole, congrats.
Ok, one thing I have to say is some women like to fake some of it to get in the mood.
I like fake moaning, it makes me feel sexy and it's easier to get off. It's not screaming tho, but I guess some women think it's what men want.
there's only so much you can do online but keep in contact with her, be reassuring, and try to be there for her when you can and let her know that you care for her. does she have anyone irl who can help her? like a parent or a friend? maybe try to direct her towards them.
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There's a special place in hell for those people who cancel on you last minute. There goes a week of planning.
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Family drama is driving me crazy and my godfather keeps trying to pull me into it (like he always does when he knows he fucked up)
>Godmother calls me at 3am crying
>Godfather is stealing her pills again and screaming at her
>Pick her up and keep her at my place
>Go to sleep immediately cuz I have a cold
>Wake up to 30+ long texts from him and tons of missed calls
>Ignore him because I know his game
>Godmother goes home, get more texts from him
>At 1pm he swears to start rehab and therapy again on Monday
>5pm comes and HE ADOPTED A PUPPY
>I have no clue if he asked my Godmother but I highly doubt it
>Haven't heard from her since, he's been texting me stuff like "we're calm now" and "don't worry" even tho I don't reply
>Don't want to get into their drama but am genuinely worried for them
Keep in mind he stole pills back when I was 19 and did the same shit. Bought things without thinking. Swore rehab then pretended like it never happened. Screamed at my Godmother even though he was the one in the wrong… just, ugh. I'm 21 now and this is bothering me like crazy but idk what to do.
This sounds like my fucking dad and my grandma.
She keeps him up even though he's 44 and is still an addict. Then she complains about him like??? STOP GIVING HIM AN OPTION TO IT'S SO FRUSTRATING
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I just woke up and they're already talking trash to me when I've done nothing but do everything they asked me to do before I got here; get a job right away, pay rent, pay for my own stuff, don't argue, and keep quiet. Yet, its still not enough to keep them happy. I'm going to move in with my mother before I somehow get trapped here. Thank you guys.
I'm currently studying abroad and my friend's boyfriend is in the same uni as I, while this friend is in another region. And holy shit he's insufferable.
He's always been kind of annoying, like he thinks he's smarter and more cultivated than everyone. But recently I've started feeling like he doesn't even respect his girlfriend.
Instance one, he hadn't installed internet in his room yet, so I told my friend he'd probably be able to talk to her once that's done. Later I mentionned to him that I said that and he told me I shouldn't have, like "now she must have spent her entire day on her phone waiting for me to send her something, she peobably wasted her day for that". Okay…
Then today we had an argument about veganism, basically I was explaining to someone that if you don't eat animals you should take B12 supplements. Please note that my friend is also vegetarian and takes B12 supplements. And my friend's boyfriend started going on about how that was bullshit, B12 is present in vegetables (it's not, some vegetables have a similar thing to B12 but it can't be absorbed) and he researched for many years while me and his girlfriend just jumped head first into this diet without thinking. And when I explained what I've read he litterally told me "scientific evidence isn't evidence".
Now, he's a big boy and he can do whatever he wants, and he's not vegetarian anyways so he doesn't need supplements. But it baffles me that he thinks so lowly of his girlfriend. It feels like he thinks she's just a little idiot who does idiotic things, but whatever it's her life, so let her take her littlr idiot supplement and don't think about it. If my boyfriend started taking supplements for something I'd try to understand and actually read about it, not fucking ignore scientific consensus or his arguments.
This friend is quite precious to me and it hurts that her bf is such an asshole. I'm sure he can be sweet with her and maybe they've agreed to disagree on some things, but it doesn't sit right to me that he'd talk about her like this. I don't think I'll talk to her about it because it's not my place but I'm so frustrated.
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>stuck with free riders for the whole academic year doing group work
>either lie to me and make shitty excuses or just do fuck all and ignore me
>I'm always nice and make no fuss about anything, so when I warn them about deadlines they never take me seriously
>I'm elected group leader for a group project
>only 1 person in the group gives the slightest semblance of a fuck
>informed everyone of the project deadline 2 weeks prior, everyone starts doing shit on the due date
>don't even know what it's about
>most don't even hand in anything
>one of them lies about being sick and moves it for the day after, doesn't even honour that
>tell them I've handed in the assignment with only the names of the team members who've participated and everyone will be graded accordingly
>suddenly everyone FREAKS, complains about me being unfair, I should've said it was important, threats to message the teacher etc
>I say nothing and let them stew
>mfw the deadline wasn't even real and the project was moved for the week after, I just wanted to watch them shit themselves in fear
>still get hate messages 2 days after
Gnaw on my minge flaps, lazy cunts
I HAVE THE POWER
They have no moral right to talk/treat you this way, in fact it's them who must pay you for cleaning and mommy'ing them.
My mother can be insufferable, but if i cook and clean she WON'T dare to say a word to me.
What kind of dad makes his kid pay 100$ him every two weeks? How much of a shitty person one must be to go THIS low?
The thing is I'm not argumentative with these "friends". With the twitter friend she asked how to make herself "glow up" (since she's always complaining about her weight and her looks) and I told her to invest in skin care, hair care, lose weight, ect, and it's like she took personal offense to that comment. The fuck? Why want to hear someone's answer if you're not going to like it?
Her views border on feminist/retarded liberal and I'm more moderate so I knew we were going to clash one day, but I thought she was gonna be able to take it since I'm the one always expected to "understand" my other friend's stupid viewpoints.
I got into an argument with another online friend that was way more heated and blunt than this one and we ended up still talking to each other. So a lot of people can't handle differing opinions while some can, unfortunately.
Idk man, I'm just bummed out. Idk how so many women can make emotional connections but cut you from their life with quickness. Men may be stupid and slow but I never had any of them do that.
pretty sure most complainers are looking for sympathy, not for advice
that's why people suck
No. That's stupid. Unless you just took it seconds ago vomiting is useless.
Call your pharmacist and ask their advice, drink water, don't take another dose until told to by your chemist or doctor.
How are you holding up anon?
If you haven't called the poison help line, or otherwise sought help yet, I would still advice you to do so. The fact of the matter is that even if you come out of this physically unharmed, it is worrisome that you felt like you had to triple your prescribed dose. since you got your meds legally i'm presuming you are in some kind of treatment with your doc, please let them know why you felt like you had to do this. Pain and anxiety relievers are tricky bitches, and are very addictive for most people. I hope you are okay, and that you take this seriously.
aw man, i know. everything i read about it says it's a bad idea but i'm just at a point where i feel there's nothing to lose so why not give it a go? i don't really have any good prospects otherwise, so realistically i'm gonna spend decades working for some bullshit money. and if not, then decades trying to "play the game" to get anything better.
daytrading is the only way i can think of that i can make livable money from home and be self-employed, short of like selling nudes or something, but then i'm just swapping dealing with annoying employers for dealing with annoying randoms
tbh wellbutrin is not an benzo. Anon probably felt reaaaally bad for a day or two without any high (like you would get on xanax for example).
Every time I overdosed on A.D medication (even just like taking a dose by accident) it felt like I was dying. But the lethal dose is always WAAAY over that.
Like, you would have to take an entire box and top it off with alcohol for it to be even remotely dangerous.
You have to be 16 to know that xanax is a benzo? Wow.
And, I have medical training, you dumbass, I've seen enough AD overdoses to tell you that at most, you're going to spend the night in the ER being semi passed out and feeling like crap. >>185599
It's a fucking AD. Xanax is not an AD, it's a benzodizepine. Wellbutrin is given for depression and axiety, it's also known to be given to people with weight problems in particular as it tends to make you lose.
Xanax and benzos are fast acting, you can feel their effect in 15 minutes. AD take time, 3 weeks for most people to start acting.
Same anon, same. Even if my bf says he likes them I can tell he is kind of disappointed. But I've got a nice butt to compensate tho. (and want to get a boob job eventually)
That's kind of the problem with online dating. People will pick you based solely on appearance. Eventually you'll find someone who will like them, don't be too worried about it.
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My boyfriend is lying to me about thinking I'm pretty. And I don't know what to do about it.
What do you mean "lying"?
If're sure that he's lying sit him down and talk about it with him.
Maybe you are pretty to him. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. If he loves you the way you are and isn't being a dick then great. Why are people even telling you that?
Still, talk to him if it bothers you that much. Or try to improve yourself. At least your self esteem.
I mean, I was in a similar situation. My bf is like 8/10 meanwhile I might be a 4 lol (just to shorten the story) and we've been together for 6 years. What other people say isn't important. What is important however is that the two of you are happy.
God people who refuse to listen to reason and accept it when they are told they are anything positive are fucking annoying.
If you're that fucking convinced you're ugly just post a picture and we'll tell you if he's lying.
If his dick get hard the he can lol>>185677
Oh come on, you can't be that ugly. Get some self esteem. Seriously.
I said make love, not screw me and then feel bad about it afterwards.
And yeah I am that ugly. I posted in /r/amiugly, and the first thing someone asked was whether I was autistic.
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I really wish my boyfriend would make an effort to better his health and body. He has a manual labor job that he only works half of the month. I understand he's tired and wants to chill at home, but he's become so doughy and his eating habits are awful. I don't want him to have a six pack, or huge arms, or anything like that. It would just be nice if he put a little effort into his appearance for me like I do for him. Everything I say to convince him falls on deaf ears and he completely ignores it.
>>185656>boobs matter so much to guys
That's not really true, it depends. First of all, where are you from? Different nations have different beauty standards and stuff. Also, it is totally possible to like small breasts: they're usually round and perky, and often match a slim body. There are a lot of guys who like, even prefer smaller cups.
And don't even think of a boobjob just to satisfy some stranger's tastes. Especially if YOU don't have any issue with your chest.
You want him to ACHIEVE that? That fucking gut and moobs? 1) get better taste, and 2) HOW FAT IS HE NOW? You
Jesus Christ you all really need to stop enabling fat men.
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The guy could esily be a strongman. They tend to look fat but can pull trucks and shit. It might not be aesthetically pleasing but it's not exacltly unhealthy because they have a lot of muscle under a layer if fat.
Adding muscle to fat isn't healthy. You still have fat pressing your organs, you still have fat floating around in your blood, you still are wrecking your joints. The world doesn't follow HAES rules anon.
It's not visually pleasing(unless you have a fat fetish lol) and it's certainly not healthy.
I thought this was supposed to be him now oops!
Well, if he doesn't want to change there isn't anything you can do about it though.
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>Wow, you really need some education and realistic expectations
Expecting men to not be fat is a realistic expectation.
>Men with cut abs and huge muscles are obviously unhealthy because they eat a deficit of calories (and/or likely use steroids.) It's a kind of manorexia.
That's a lot of dumb assumptions there, fatty.
>The guy in that picture I posted is a body builder.
And? You can lift weights and still be fat, and fat is still unhealthy.
>Natural, not overly large
A huge gut and moobs are not natural, fatty>>185710
Yeah, 6-17% of fat. Notice how that guy the delusional ham beast posted is well past that range.
Why is it we have multiple thread about health, diet, and fitness, and spend out time bashing women for their poor health, but the minute you two see a penis that all flies out your head and you scramble to find excuses? I'll say it again- Stop excusing and enabling fat men. Stop being dickmatized.
If I said I was a man that'd put the fat-enabler-chans in quite the predicament, wouldn't it? On the one hand I'm Big Daddy Dick and they're good little dumb sluts, so what I say goes, right? On the other hand, coddling hambeast men is about as sad as you can get so they should do it, right?
It's a tough decision uwu
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LONG. I really needed to vent.
I wish I could accept my sexuality. As time goes by I feel more and more attracted to women, both romantically and physically. Unlike most girls who find out they are lesbian or bisexual in their early to mid teens, I only "realized" that when I was around 20 years old (almost 5 years ago), fell in love with one when I was around 22 and had sex for the first time around the same period (I've never had sex with a guy, only with a woman. Not even sure why I am adding this detail, but whatever).
I still like men, yes, and I can definitely feel attracted to them and fall in love with a guy. I was in love with one not that long ago. I can see myself settling down with one in the future and all of that – but I suppose I've been growing a preference for women.
This would be fine if my family was accepting.
They have absolutely no idea because I've never said anything and I'm very, very feminine.
I grew up as a conservative Christian and even though I don't believe in god, at least not like I used to, I feel horrible and umconfortable.
My mom would NEVER speak to me again if she knew I like women. She'd fucking hate me.
I know some people may read this and think 'anon, you must be overreacting and exaggerating, moms almost never do that even if they say they wouldn't accept a gay kid'. Well, not mine. She would. And fuck, she means so much to me. Knowing my mother and other close family members would hate me is heartbreaking and the older I get, the saddest I get as well. I have tried therapy (not conversion therapy, just regular) and nothing works. I guess I suffer from internalized homophobia, or something like that. It's not aimed at others, only at myself. I've spoken about this on lolcow before, the last time was probably sometime last year – so yeah, it's something that really fucking hurts and bothers me.
I know I don't have to tell my family about who I truly am, and that I could just keep doing my thing without them knowing, but hiding things is terrible. Sometimes I think 'what if i find a girl i love? i'll never be able to bring her over, make her feel part of my family, etc. My family won't attend my wedding, my family this, my family that'.
I'm currently single and I've thought about trying to find a date, but why should I even do that, if in the best case scenario things worked out, I couldn't be with them? Or would be with them but rejected by the ignorant, hateful people I love?
These things kill me.
I wish I COULD be straight. I wish I could stop hating myself. Or that they would accept me.
I also sometimes wonder if I'm like this because I was sexually abused by my ex stepfather. Some people are prejudiced and say that's one of the reasons why women 'become' lesbians and my fucking self homophobia screams that to me on my shittiest days.
Here I am today… feeling fucking suicidal, thinking about my life and wishing I could learn how to not give a fuck.
(those are Kase-san and Yamada if anyone is curious)
Hi anon. I have gone through something similar to you so I wanted to reply.
I know a lot of people these days just go on and on about how OUT you need to be about every little detail about yourself: your sexual orientation, your gender, your xyz… Honestly, it is YOUR business at the end of the day and no one else's.
Like you, I have kept my orientation away from my family because unfortunately they just would not understand. No one knows them as well as I do. It would cause a lot of problems and anguish for everyone on all sides. To me, that is simply not worth it. I am a-ok knowing who I am and sharing that with who I want. I found what works for me and no one can tell me otherwise how much better it would be if I was "out."
Ultimately, your comfort level is what is most important. If you feel ok not telling your family, that is fine! All those fuckers who say you will regret it or are a disgrace or whatever can eat shit. This situation is different for everyone. Just because something about yourself is unconventional (not that I feel being gay is, but you know) does not mean you have to wear it on your sleeve and confess it to everyone.
So long story short, you do you boo. If you wind up seriously dating a girl and decide to be in a committed relationship with them, THEN I would worry about all that. But for now, you don't know who you will wind up with. When that time comes the answer will probably be clearer too.
I should add, don't let this affect trying to date a girl now either. Go for it! Don't even think about your family. You don't have to tell your family every little thing you do or who you date. Many straight people don't tell their parents about their s/o's all the time too. If it gets serious, there is lots of great advice to handle that when you get to it, and like I said the answer will probably be clearer to.
You'll be fine. <3 Just keep doing you and try to not overthink it!
(Also please don't try to rationalize liking girls. Girls are often awesome so there really doesn't have to be a reason.)
Sweden just seems like a shithole now. Not too long ago I read a story about two refugee boys who raped a girl in the school bathroom, and the principal tried to cover it up. When it was exposed he said "all three are victims".
Not that my country (Norway) is far behind
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>Guy I was talking to via tinder adds me on fb
>Go on his profile to see that in his latest posts he's with a girl
>I visit his profile again after a couple of hours and ALL of his posts and pictures with this girl aren't showing anymore, his last post now is on July 2016
>The idiot has a girlfriend and seriously made all that hiding effort thinking it wouldn't be suspicious at all
Oh well, too bad I know. Bye bye, cheater boi, you tried.
Apologies for the rant.
Every time I use an un-PC term (eg 'retarded') on social media, a thousand retarded liberals from the US descend upon me to call me stupid, cruel and a bad person even though it's clear that no offence was meant.
My best friend, who was raised in a Middle-Eastern country, once said that religion is significant but should be kept private (which I agree with, and which has worked in my little corner of Europe for some years now, after a messy, religiously motivated civil war), and people called her 'brainwashed'.
She also complained about her family being backwards, blaming girls for everything and forcing them into dangerous situations because of tradition, but that she still loves her home country and doesn't think running away abroad would solve anyone's problems. Everyone automatically assumed that she used to live in some shithole with no running water, acted super condescending towards her (basically telling her she's wrong and that the West needs to save all the poor Arab savages out there, even though she's the one with the first-hand experience) and demonstrated such utter cluelessness about how emigration works and the kind of money/sacrifice it takes for someone to move abroad. Holy shit, I was livid for days.
They're all so fucking preachy and self-righteous but know so little and, what's even more terrifying, care so little about those actual people they're halfheartedly trying to defend and their opinions. They think American logic (lol) applies everywhere, don't actually want to do anything about a particular problem in society and only ever want to yell and complain until somebody makes the problem a little less visible and gives them the illusion of everything being A-OK.
They've no clue what actual terrorism is like or what it's like to live in a conflict zone, they believe superficial things like the colour of your skin and which orifice you prefer to stick your cock into determine how lucky you are in life, and will just as superficially try to remedy any social problem by getting upset until someone uses the word they like. And if you so much as suggest that there's other people with different opinions and experiences, they'll call you ignorant. Ironically enough.
Trump can't destroy America soon enough. Going to love every minute of it.
I feel dumb for putting so much work into my blog. It's not that personal, it's more full of resources on different health related topics and shit. But at the same time I wonder why I even bother with this? It's not like I'll ever make money or anything useful out of it.
I guess I just really love (micro-managing) all that stuff and mess in the html.>>185868
Obv. different anon but I was wondering if that's really what one should do? I mean, yea I'd do it, but I'm kind of worried of getting into some sort of crossfire between them?
Especially if I know the guy but not his gf.
>>185830>I have a doubt and double check if my profile says i'm in an open relationship.
I know the word "cuck" gets thrown around a lot, but your boyfriend is a literal cuckold, he's okay with you fucking other guys, I have less than zero respect for him.>>185841
It's only 50% of the US that's like that (stupid decadent liberals). The other 50% isn't, it's just that the former has more online presence.>>185895
If you know someone is a cheater, you should ALWAYS tell the person they're cheating on.>>185744
If only men could vote, there wouldn't be a single muslim in Sweden.>>185700>moobs
Those are what pectoral muscles look like at a moderately high level of bodyfat.
That guy is actually very muscular and lifts weights, he's not just "fat", look at any powerlifter. Tons of women (and fags) love that type of physique he has.
What could he even do to convince you? How often does he have sex with you, and how enthusiastic is he?>>185660
You're one of those people that consider any form of dieting to be an "eating disorder".>>185656
Tons of guys on 4chan like flat/small boobs.
Big tits are comical and a sign of old age, and only niggers like big asses. Small tits are better, stop trying to date Chad/niggers brainwashed by rap music and Hollywood films.>>185569
You wouldn't date a NEET that was otherwise attractive, wouldn't cheat, and wanted a serious long-term relationship.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
>Those are what pectoral muscles look like at a moderately high level of bodyfat.
The key word being fat. He's a fat ass.
>Tons of women (and fags) love that type of physique he has
Those women are called fat fetishists, and no there's not a ton of women who like it, most think it's fucking gross. Because it is.
I'd do it, but
a) Since the little fuck has hidden everything from me, I've read her name only once and I don't remember it anymore
b) Stupid Facebook settings would lead my message into the "Message requests" field that no one ever checks, since we're not friends, and she would never read it
c) A lot of girls here are dumbasses, so she wouldn't believe me and say that it's a fake profile or even put the blame on me.
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Soooooooo, my boyfriend just found out yesterday that he has syphilis. We've been together for like a year an a half. I read the virus can be dormant, but for how long?? Not sure how I should approach this…
Should I suspect cheating? It seems out of character but I've been fooled before..
Posts like these make me think only autists are obsessed with muh pure innocent flatchest waifu!!!
Poor flat chested girls.
I feel the exact same way. Sure girls talk shit too but most guys want to know every little thing a girl does, who she's seeing, who she fucked … They'll even tell friends who do the same with their own friends.
But because it's guys I guess it'll never be gossip.
It's funny because all jokes aside Sweden actually practiced colonialism and racism for centuries but the target was their neighboring country Finland, a white nation. Even up to the 50's the native Swedish were encouraged not to breed with the Finnish because it would ruin their "pure genes".
So yeah, have fun dealing with the refugees Sweden. You kinda brought this upon yourselves.
It's actually funny twice over because shitstains like you sit on your ass saying that the innocent people who died a horrific death, lost limbs and are fighting for their lives deserve it because of something no one in Finland who doesn't live in bumfuck nowhere and whose parents are cousins blame the Swedish people for.
Disgusting fucks like you are the reason things like this are even allowed to happen in today's world. Eat shit.
I think anon was referring to how Sweden took tons of middle eastern/african refugees in and let them rot and fester with radical ideologies while turning a blind eye. Not what they did to Finland.
But however almost everybody in Finland still remembers and most of them still carry a grudge but the swedes like to think it never happened. Source: I'm Finnish.