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Is anyone in a interracial relationship right now? Even if you're not, discuss your thoughts, feelings, experiences, hesitations, fears, etc. about them.
My relationships have always been interracial because of where I live and even though my boyfriend is Hispanic like my exes, he looks extremely white because he's mixed - colored eyes, light hair, pale skin, etc. I've been kind of afraid of what people might think because I'm an Asian girl. I wouldn't ever stop dating him because of this, but I don't want people to assume I'm self-hating, hate Asian guys, or worship white dudes, as is the stereotype. I'm really proud of my heritage and would've dated one if I could ever find one who didn't look and act like the usual Asian American guy (tan, buff, not boyish/pretty, doesn't care about his culture, doesn't speak his parent language, etc.) I've never gotten weird looks or anything but I wonder how people would feel if we moved to a place that had a higher white/Asian population. Maybe I'm just too in my head about it.
I think it's relevant to my post :) I grew up thinking not accepting interracial relationships was pretty backwards but once I got on the internet I read about the things that >>191078
talks about. Before in my experience it was mostly girls being fetishized but with the rise of K-pop, I also see Asian men being desired in a objectified way. Where I live, non-Hispanic (white, Asian, black, etc.) people are put on pedestal/fuck list because we're exotic. It's very degrading.
I guess it's mostly the internet that's polluted my mind, mostly AA oriented Reddit subs (r/hapas and /asianamericans) and they concern me because some of posters (hapas especially) really do seem off their rocker about this. Another thing I wouldn't appreciate is my boyfriend's heritage being erased by these people if he's seen with me. Initially he looks just plain white, but if you isolate some of his features like eyebrows, facial hair, nose, etc. he's an archetype of the "white" Latino - kinda like Elvis the Alien lol. He doesn't even like it when his/our friends distill him to being only one race in non joking manner. >>191097
As an American here I find it has just as much to do with race as it does culture. My dad has brought up concerns about my bf being able to communicate with him and my mom, but my mom prefers I not marry someone from my native country since she's afraid wouldn't treat me well as per the marriage culture there.
I agree with the culture thing, I'm mixed race (half white but I don't look white) and I grew up in pure small town American suburbia with mostly white nerd friends, I can't begin to imagine dating someone from the non-white non-American part of my heritage. I feel really out-of-place when I stay with that side of my family.
As for dating, I've never had any serious relationships and the one guy I did casually date was white. I tend to be attracted to white guys or mixed guys.
>>191100>As an American here I find it has just as much to do with race as it does culture
Well no offence but when you all share the same cookie cutter culture then it becomes about race.
I'm a white European dating another white European from a different country, and our 'native' religions also differ (I'm Orthodox/atheist, he's Lutheran). It's still a problem sometimes. I know Americans think all white people are the same but I'm still treated differently by him and his friends than I would be if I was a typical girl from his country, and vice versa.
Honestly our relationship wouldn't work out if we weren't communicating well, but we tell each other everything on our minds and are able to talk it out so it's good.
I personally would never be able to be with someone who thought less of me or was condescending because I came from a culture he thought was inferior to his, and I've actually met a lot of guys like that. Like a big chunk of lonely European and American men go to Thailand or the Philippines to get a gf there because they think they're submissive and stupid/gullible and will settle for any white guy.
I've even been hit on by an Irish man who asked me if arranged marriages were a thing in my country and wanted to 'save me' from one. He was 100% serious too, I'd never laughed so hard. Most of them are stupid Anglo tourists that we laugh at when they leave.
That's shitty of them, you'd think they would look past all of that and not place you in a situation where you feel uncomfortable.
My old roommates were married and she was black and he was Arabic. Anytime we would go out to eat or go on campus to hang out people would constantly treat them both as unequals with nasty glares or rude remarks. It's really shit I'm sorry you gotta go through it, anon.
Fuck what anyone else thinks. I know its hard, but it's your relationship, not anyone else's. If they assume things about your relationship just because of your races, they're probably not people you want to get too close to in the first place.
Me and my SO are in the same racial categories as you guys, except I'm also mixed with Arab. I've gotten shit from guys on both sides of my family for being with a "white" guy, which honestly I find kind of creepy. Ultimately, a mixed guy understands how I feel about race better than a guy who is just Asian, or just Arab, and is less likely to be conservative and treat me terribly.
At the same time, I definitely wouldn't date a guy who is only or mostly white though. I've done that, and they make up for their lack of culture by mocking yours. Not worth it.
thanks for the kind words, anon
it's true though. like it's the stereotypes that affect us both cause this fuss for other people - i know that my boyfriend struggles with accepting that he is considered an "other" (he doesn't look totally white but whiteness is all he knows from his parents) but that i am also stereotyped way more than he is (as a black woman). i also meme about white people because of shit like what >>191146
said ("they make up for their lack of culture by mocking yours") – my bf actually made an implication about me and bikes once, even (okay, granted, that was nearly fifteen years ago, but fucking really) so i think i get a pass since i have to deal with the conflict so often. trade off.>>191179
virtually all dudes dating online are white, and it is so weird to me, but i feel like people use tinder/apps or whatever now… since there are many who date asian/biracial men in this thread, how did you all meet your partners?
lol yes offense. you do know that even between states there's a lot of culture difference right? we both were raised in the same state so in some settings our american identities take precedence over our native culture, especially when socializing with peers.
ngl we make white jokes all the time >>191233
i think it's cool he can step back and have fun with it, but i do get uncomfortable when my more SJW friends start becoming more aggressive about white people, because it's like hey, don't direct any of this towards him he's still from the same culture as you…
i met mine in college a few months ago. we both work as TA's during the same class but we got to know one another more as we started hanging around the computer science lab at the same time. i don't use tinder because i'm still kind of young and the scene is kind of trash here, so i feel like the desired guys aren't looking online - they're getting enough attention offline. plus i'm afraid of being fetishized
(weeb/koreaboo culture down here is gaining traction) + don't like knowing that my potential spouse was/could've been talking to other girls as they struck up conversation w me. my personal hang ups tho.
I met mine through the PS4 haha. A friend of mine invited him to our party chat. I thought he was cool and interesting. Then we slowly started only chatting with just the two of us. Which escalated to full blown flirting with the most corniest and cheesiest stupid pick up lines and compliments and then we just told each other our honest feelings and we've been together for almost a year now. I'll be visiting him by the end of May hopefully but The funny thing is, this only happened cause of a console. Although I will be honest with you, I was quite weary of him because we never know who they actually are right? Cat fishing has increased significantly but I'm glad that didn't happen to me.
I ramble too much, sorry!!
…yes? You all speak the same language, wear the same shit and have similar customs.>>191392
Only if you beg for it
I was having a bad day, but reading these posts cheered me up because they're so over the top and silly that I couldn't help but smile. Thank you.
Keep doing what you're doing.
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A+ shitposting, never change
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i thought it was supposed to be a meme
>>191078>white guy and it's kind of weird because I found out he was a white supremacist with a raging yellow fever pretty early in the relationship and he's very much into race play
I've never been able to understand this meme
>"g-guys we've got to save the white race!"has kids with a filipino girl
Man, I wish I could get an islander bf. I find them super attractive and I like how big they are.
I've never really spent much time with them except the occasional maori girl though, am I right in thinking I probably wouldn't click with one if I'm too quiet/serious? I know it's generalizing but still.
No one raged at you nigga. They just asked you why you were dating a Chinese guy and then complaining about his family being shitty towards you.
That's just what East Asians are like in general. Muh filial piety will preclude him ever standing up for you against them, that's something you've got to understand.
And shit. No one is jealous of someone for dating a Chinese dude. Don't make us laugh. Outside of niche asiaphile communities, Asian men are viewed as undesirable by most non-Asian girls and dating one is viewed as an opposite of a status symbol. What planet are you on?
'cause I live with him and like HIM, not his family? It doesn't sound that weird to me. Where I live, people don't stay really close with their parents passed a certain age.
Why are you even this mad?
Farmer I… Where did you even get I was mad from that? It's annoyance. Annoyance at your ignorance of a really basic racial/cultural difference.
Not everyone on earth is the same. Not all races are the same and it's not a case of our differences being merely what cuisines we eat and minor cosmetic stuff, in some cases it cuts right to the core of what we consider values. That's something you really should be aware of if you're above the age of 18.
>>191738>It's not like Americanized asians are any different from white people.https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/20/world/asia/china-cia-spies-espionage.html?_r=0
^ The guy who fed them the intel was a second-generation Chinese-American who now lives in Asia. He'd disagree with you, clearly there are differences.
>which I found incredibly shallow and disappointing
Anon. If black people can take pride in their natural hair and asian people their eye folds then you should be able to take pride in your green eyes.
Nothing wrong with beautiful features.
What are you even rambling about? I can't vent (in the vent thread) about shitty bf family talking shit literally to my face bc muh cultural differences? What even.
And yeah, I grew up in deep rural western Europe. There wasn't any cultural diversity, at the time. I think he literally is the first Asian person I've ever came to meet, at the age of 19, that wasn't the waiter of the only Chinese restaurant in the area I grew up in.
Are you aware not everyone has the chance to grow up in a big town? But yeah, I guess I should I have somehow been infused about the knowledge of other cultures (no Internet wasn't a thing at the time, especially considering the fact English isn't my native language).
You don't need to be exposed to people of other races to understand deep-seated racial differences exist.
I guess I just don't understand why it came as a shock to you. Did you think all races were exactly the same?
Anyway, that's how he is and how he's going to be. You must have low self-esteem if you're going to sit around a dinner table while your boyfriend's family shit-talks you in their own language and he keeps quiet.
You don't need to be exposed to different things to be aware they exist? You just conjure them in your mind from nothingness?
I accepted it anyway, because I love him. But it still shitty and I still sometimes complain about it.
>>191753>You just conjure them in your mind from nothingness?
Do I need to see it in person to know that Muslims shove their asses in the air to pray?
>I accepted it anyway, because I love him.
Doormat with low self-esteem.
Well, if you didn't see it in reality, learn it in school or see it on TV, yes.
I know it's weird but information wasn't as easy to get as it is now.
It's just odd to me that your parents would raise you believing that all races are exactly the same and that you wouldn't at least guess there are some basic differences from reading books and stuff.
Honestly anon, it's not a huge deal for Chang to turn around to his parents and ask them politely not to shit-talk the woman he supposedly loves in front of him when she's a guest at their house.
I mean I come from a pretty traditional family too but that sort of rudeness is alien to us. Some Chinese people just baffle me.
Actually, my parents were 'jokingly' racists and told me about disowning me if I would bring a black or Arab man home (nothing about Asians tho, so I guess it was a grey area?)
All my books were either bought from the supermarket or came from the tiny library. There wasn't much choice.> Mom, I'm home from the library. > What have you got honey? > 'The intricacies of dating an Asian man in your late 20's'
Joking, but really, it was only cows and white people, no information on the outside world.
And yeah, he tells them, but they do it the next time. I' ve tried to be really nice, I've tried not to go, but besides him not going at all (and I don't want him to stop seeing them because of me), I just can't sway them.
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I just think it reflects badly on you too, since you represent your family - who (as far as I can tell) have been good to this chang kid. And then his family turn around and treat you like shit. It's like they have no idea of reciprocity. Pisses me off. You should feel offended on behalf of your parents too if that's the case, since their kindness is being taken advantage of here, in a roundabout sort of way.
I'm guessing you're French too. Unfortunately there are lots of primitives from Wenzhou in France, weren't a few of them rioting a few months back? >>191763
An Asian would counter this by saying that you aren't respectful enough to your parents (which has a ring of truth to it, no denying that), but the thing is… Everything to Asians is about subservience. There's no concept of a justly earned respect that's voluntarily given.
It's just pure animal obedience to whoever is your "superior". Look at the kowtow, it's a way of deliberately making yourself as small as possible, in the same way some burrowing animals do.
Literal animal behavior.
I've cut ties with my parents 5+y ago and moved countries. They are backward racists and anti-gay. I don't regret doing it for a second, but it was my own decision. I don't know what they think about him but I guess it's something like not being happy about it while thinking it could be worse.
You're kinda projecting, I think and I think you should get that checked. You're right about the French thing, tho.
>>191765>cut ties with my parents>because they don't like the idea of me dating some Maghrebi trash
You're more of a trainwreck than I expected. Carry on.
And don't you find it a bit odd to break ties with your parents for their "racism" but you're ok with a guy who is complicit in his parents' racism toward you?
Is having some pindicked fetish boyfriend for the sake of animes and idorus really worth all that?
Really odd isn't it?
I'm glad I'm not the only one scratching my head at this whole story.
Holy shit, you have this impeccable mix of unwarranted self importance and utter stupidity anon.
It's actually amazing.
>>191751> I'm not sure why she feels Indians are better than black people
Indians have a history of civilization and significant historical achievements. Thousands of years ago, they had impressive architecture, law, writing systems, technological advancements, and culture. (Although things have gotten a bit shitty since then)
Africans were still at literal stone-age level until white and Arabs came.
They never even invented the wheel, let alone figured out how to smelt metals. They didn't have writing systems, their languages are incredibly basic and primitive.
Hundreds/thousands of years ago, white men and East Asian men built amazing civilizations, architecture, and cities. While at the same time, Africans literally never advanced past the stone-age.
Basically Africans are dumb, very low IQ, if I was Indian I still wouldn't like blacks either.
The men are just your garden variety racial fetishists whereas the women tend to be mentally screwed up on a whole other level, venus, margaret, kanadajin, those sad girls who whore in kabuchiko etc.
That stuff is born from girls who lack an identity of their own. Let's not overstate things though. Asian men aren't viewed as desirable by the vast majority of non Asian women.
That's where appearances can be deceptive though. "Westernized" can often just mean superficial traits, when on the inside they're still hardcore.
Watch out for anyone with mixed loyalties as far as their home lands go. That's a dead giveaway. Call me old fashioned but I don't think you can be loyal to both China and America in this day and age.
From a southern european perspective probably northwestern Europeans. At the very least you're not going to be with a man whose culture views male cheating as ok. Here's how I'd say it breaks down.
Chinese and Koreans.
Italians, Spaniards, Slavs and Greeks.
Best you're going to get tier:
I'd list blacks but I find them too repugnant to ever consider dating one even hypothetically.
alot of them cheat if their gf/wife isn't acting how they want. chinese and koreans are really misogynistic so they don't wanna stay with someone who's not really obedient.
said. They used to be polygamous cultures and they never really shook that off. What you have to understand about Chinese and Korean culture is that most Chinese and Korean women don't really care if their husband cheats, so if you kick up a stink as a foreign wife you're going to look like an idiot who nobody sympathises with.
>>192342>Italians, Spaniards, Slavs and Greeks.
can you elaborate on these men? what sets them below scandi/germans but above chinese/korean? how likely is it they'll cheat, or what causes it? i thought the whole "passionate romantic horndog" thing was just a meme.
also how do whites from north america or australia figure into this ranking if you have any insight? sorry for the load of questions, just very interested
My own people are more likely to cheat than germans and scandis but I don't think Italian culture at least looks as forgiving on male cheaters as Chinese and Korean culture does. They're still considered to be scumbags and it's something they'll feel ashamed of if they get caught. Slavs are sort of similar. Maybe a slavic anon can tell you more.
North American whites are more similar to the northwestern European standard I mentioned earlier I think. But again I couldn't say for sure.
So was China and they were a polygamy culture. Same as Korea.
Korea never had monogamy culture system until westerners brought it over.
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Wishing you the best, anon. Hope the adoption goes well later this year.
I wonder who could be behind these posts.
Fuck off /pol/ and/or /r9k/
Was it your boyfriend's choice not to tell them about you? How do you feel about it?>>192484
Thank you, glad to hear someone had a good experience for once. My bf's mother sounds so sweet and interesting from the things he tells me, I hope she'll be that way whem meet.
Have some self respect you idiot. Again, if he doesn't stand up for you now he never will.
Why do people put themselves through this unhappiness just to seem trendy or satisfy some weird race fetish?