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No. 213421

Old thread is a mess >>>/ot/210616
Let it all out and help out eachother! But please do not get into petty OT arguments. If things start getting into debates we can consider making threads about them.

No. 213424

>do not get into petty OT arguments
But this is the /ot/ board…

No. 213427

Haha, I get it! Man though, the last thread turned into a dumpster fire, that was almost as bad as race/gender derailing.

No. 213432

I'm starting this vent thread off with a English rant.

i'm so fucking sick of shitty tourists and oblivious people on the tube. People who don't get off the train to allow people to get off and instead block the doors when around 25 people need to shove their way past is infuriating. People who move allll the way down inside the carriage for 1 stop and then shove their way back out. People who walk slowly down the platform in groups so you can't get past them. People who don't have their oyster card ready to go before hitting the barriers.

I swear to fucking God I'm going to push somebody in front of a train.

No. 213461

This is honestly so goddamn dumb but I'm bummed about the accusations against Matt Lauer and him getting fired from the Today Show. Maybe it's because Today is my go-to morning show for the past, like, 7 or 8 years? He's really the only person that has been accused of sexual misconduct recently that I actually kind of liked.

But, I commend the people that speak up about situations like this. It takes a lot of courage, especially against someone who's way high-up in the hierarchy of NBC personalities, to do so.

No. 213470

File: 1512007359205.png (229.27 KB, 500x571, yqBF5Aw.png)

I felt an oncoming headache almost the entire day so I decided to down some kratom tea. I originally bought the stuff bc my bf is allergic to literally every painkiller under the sun, and this stuff works kind of like a stim/opioid and it's real good pain relief.

But it's so…fucking…bitter. Like the worst unsweetened matcha imaginable.
I've tried grinding fresh ginger, honey, and lemon into the tea and bleh. Not working. Some people do shakes but that seems tedious, and others worse just pop a spoonful and wash it down with water.

I didn't finish my cup but my headache is already gone. I just wish there was a way to make it enjoyable.

No. 213490

I feel the same about the allegations against Garrison Keillor. A Prairie Home Companion was a huge part of my childhood, it sucks to hear all this.

Something I'm less surprised about is Morrissey defending Harvey Weinstein and Kevin Spacey. He said some really disgusting stuff… Haven't seen many people talking about it, but I guess I don't associate with people who like him anyways.

No. 213507

Depending on my mood, I mix kratom with either fruity drink mixes or hot cocoa mix and milk. Not the best option if you don't want extra sugar, but it definitely masks the taste.

No. 213510

File: 1512032139367.jpg (33.7 KB, 315x383, kmyth.jpg)

I'm so fucking drunk and angry right now. Today was a fucking shit day, and it's the first day that I told myself I would eat healthy full meals and not just drink. Lately every single day I've come home from work and just downed a bottle of wine and tonight was no different.

But fuck tonight was more horrible than usual. I've already pulled out multiple large chunks of hair, and punched my cheekbones which is what I do when I'm really upset. I try not to because I know that's fucking pathetic but I just don't have any other healthy coping mechanisms anymore and I can't bring myself to care enough to stop when it's in the moment and I just want to punish myself. I'm just so fucking angry and disillusioned with everything and I really wish I would just kill myself already. I can't even function in real life anymore because I'm so depressed and every time I think things can't get worse, they do. Literally everything is fucking terrible. Reading the news is basically masochistic for me at this point, especially with all the sex scandals like I'm not even sure why the fuck I'm still surprised at how much the world despises women. I want ot cut my fucking tits off and lose as much weight as possible so that i'm no longer obviously a woman. Fuck that.

The world and everyone in it is just so fucked and not worth it. Nothing is worth it. I can't wait to fucking die holy shit. I'm just afraid of fucking up any suicide attempt I may make, I've already done it once and it made me feel like even more of a filure that I couldn't even kill myself alreayd.

Like holy fuck what a miserable stupid piece of shit I must be if I can't even figure out how to end my own life. Stupid cunt worthless piece of trash. Someone snipe me from a tall building and blow my fucking head off already. Thanks in advance.

No. 213511

And now that I see this entire wall of text I have so say SORRY for even authoring this and putting it out into the universe. Like holy fuck who even cares about this shit? I can fully acknowledge what a whiny piece of shit I am but that still doesn't stop me from continuing to WHINE.

No. 213514

File: 1512035056039.png (202.28 KB, 540x534, tumblr_inline_obq1keUAM51qmij1…)

I'm beginning to second guess getting engaged to my boyfriend. He's like borderline "woke" black man and a fan of Tariq Nasheed. Which does not sit well with me. I don't want to start a family with someone who like that. But at the same time, he's genuinely super nice to me and ask for my insight on things. He been helping me lose weight too. So, really, I'm just stuck. I want to help him see the world in a different, healthier light but I don't want to come off as indoctrinating. All in all, I'm just really confused.

No. 213515

File: 1512035152604.jpg (116.56 KB, 640x640, Bob4.jpg)

You really should see a terapist, and i dont mean it in a negative way, please dont hurt yourself.
Lots of people have recovered and lead happy healthy lives now, please anon, just, dont end it! You deserve to have a happy life.

No. 213517

Could you explain why you're doubting your boyfriend a bit more? I don't know about about Tariq Nasheed, but from a glance at Google's results I'm guessing he's one of those black men who hates black women and blames them for not being a slave to their insecurities?

No. 213518

Chances are she is a white woman and he hates black women, hence dates a white woman who's remotely more human than black women, in their opinion.

No. 213526

Oh, I see. Yikes. I would definitely be wary of that. He'll eventually start showing his true colors once he's more comfortable.

No. 213527

If you're interested in advice:

You can lose weight on your own, and there's plenty of guys out there who will be nice and respectful towards you. Don't waste your life trying to train people into a path that suits you, it won't work. Just find a guy that's on your level with stuff like that.

No. 213542

Tell me I'm a piece of shit.

I'm in a LDR and I resent my bf for many things he did when we were broken up. But I got back with him because we weren't together when they happened and because I see a future with him.
I love him a lot and we plan on getting together once we get our financial life straight. We've been together for years. Lately he's been having problems that are beyond my control, and wasn't giving me attention or communicating with me.
Anyway, long story, short story… Two years ago when I wasnt with my bf, I made a friend (also online) who ended up getting romantically involved with me. And we ended up talking again yesterday after over a year without contact. And we sexted yesterday. A fucking lot.
I feel horrible and I wanna die. The worst part is that I don't wanna dump him (the friend), but I don't wanna stay without my bf either. I'm a fucking monster and I deserve to die. Just to make things worse my bf just got back to normal and everything is happy and perfect again, so I can't even fool myself saying I am feeling this way because he's not treating me right. What should I do?

No. 213546

I just need a place to write everything down and I feel like if I do it on social media it's always considered as attention whoring while the only thing I need right now is a big hug.

I just came back from the veterinarian with my 18 year old cat. She had trouble breathing for a while now but she still seemed like her normal self.
Anyways they found a big tumour right next to her lung and she needs to be put to sleep tomorrow.
I'm just a mess right now. I had her since she was a baby. She would always sleep in my bed and is just the cutest cat alive.
I know that putting her to sleep is the best choice since I hear how she is struggling to breathe but knowing that tonight will be the last time she will sleep in my bed is just the worst.
I knew that sooner or later she will die but I had always hoped that won't be until she's 20 or so.
It just breaks my heart.

No. 213548

I don't know what to write down to make you feel better. If you were next to me I would give you the biggest hug.

I have a cat, she's young and also always sleeps right next to me, on bed, next to my pc. I found her abandoned in a carton box, wet from rain when she was extremely little, barely few weeks old, smaller than the palm of my hand, and I can't even imagine the pain of losing her.

I'm so terribly sorry you have to go through this. The only consolidation is that she probably had a great human companion that cared for her and she had a decent life.

No. 213562

I recently had to put down 17 y.o dog, and few months earlier my kitten died.
We rescued the dog from near death situation. It really helped me to not look at the death of his, but the life. Think about how lucky your cat was that she had a loving home. How good her life was. What a long life she lived, happily! In comfort, warmness, with her belly full. She's leaving, but that's how things are - it's sad, but that's nature of the existence. She's old and ready to go.
When I compared my dog's situation with my kitten, I felt that it was only fair. A long happy life, and a merciful death. So many animals don't have that privilege. Be proud of yourself - you gave her a great time on our Earth, I'm sure of that.

No. 213570

Where can you get this stuff? Traditional painkillers don't work on me and I have a headache every day.

No. 213572

I look in the mirror - ok
I take a pic on my front camera - ok
I take a normal pic/someone takes a pic of me - my face is asymetrical af, my teeth are crooked, huge nose, new face who the fuck dis?

It triggers me so much. I know it's because I'm used to the mirrored image of myself, I see the other rarely so it spooks me blabla, but I can't believe how different it looks. The huge difference makes me anxious, because people see the side that looks weird. The ugly crooked side. It started to bug me really hard, I was feeling finally ok with my looks until I noticed that. Like when I see pictures others take of me I'm so confused and lost, because it's not how I perceive myself. I feel like my brain in order to protect me falsifies the vision I have of myself when I look in the mirror.
I may be falling in the deep shitpit of insecurities again because of that, and it's such a step back. For such a shitty reason!! Ugh.

No. 213578

Bf bought some Ben and Jerry's non-dairy cherry garcia last night and used a blender to mix up a spoonful. Lol. Tbh it didn't taste bad, tasted like a milkshake made with bitter chocolate.
But yeah, it was a sugarbomb.

Not sure where you live, but this is my source
I get the green Maeng Da. Also friendly word of caution: start out with no more than a gram. The thing is if you dose too much you could get nauseated or get the shakes. Happened to me a month back when I had something like 2-3grams over the course of a couple hours. A gram will suffice esp if you don't use it frequently.

No. 213587

Thanks anons. I know that there isn't much that one can say to someone in this situation and a "simple" sorry feels forced (main reason why I'm trying to bother my friends with this)
I appreciate your thoughts and advice! I'll try to think about it when it will happen tomorrow.

I'm sorry for your loss anon the way you talk about them sounds like you love them very much.

I'll try to think about your advice when it gets hard to stay positive.

And as you guys said it is better this way. I don't want to her suffer anymore than she already has. I can be lucky that I had her for 18 years. I'll always cherish the memories that I have of her.
Thanks guys this means a lot to me.

No. 213589

I have a similar insecurity except when other people take my picture my face looks wider and my double chin is worse than usual. Idk, I've gotten over it because I figure if that's how other people see me then there's nothing I can do.
Yet I think what makes me more uncomfortable with it, is how accessible unflattering pictures are on social media. It used to be the case in the 90s and early 00s that you could expect embarrassing candids and bad pictures to never leave someone's photo album.
But now it's like they're on the internet for every person to see.

As a rule, I like to ask friends if a picture is okay to post if I suspect it's a bit unflattering for them as a courtesy.

No. 213593

I kinda miss the times I would go back home straight after class and just watch anime and post on /a/ or hang on Mumble with internet friends.
Now I'm constantly either at work, in class or studying, or doing extracurricular shit that puts a big load of pressure on me.
Granted a big part of that pressure is self inflicted because I try to do too much stuff and have it all be perfect, and never feel like I'm doing enough.
And I'm still grateful I have all this stuff to do, it keeps me busy and I'm sure I won't regret not wasting my time too much in a few years… But still I look forward to having less stuff to worry about. Not guaranteed that'll happen though I suppose.

No. 213594

Thanks…I have been before (years ago) and it never helped much. But I got up today and had another episode just pure anger and self hatred and ended up slamming my closet door against the wall and it left a huge hole in the wall and the little doorstop thing left a hole in the bottom of the door.
I live with my parents since I just graduated with a dumbass degree and my job is shitty right now so when they see this I know they will force me to go back to therapy or just kick me out.

Thanks for the advice but I really don't deserve a happy life, especially not after what I just did. The fact that I can't even hold it in anymore is pathetic and now I've devolved to fucking property damage. It's ridiculous, I'm ridiculous, and if I were smart I would just kill myself before my dad gets home later today.

No. 213603

Just so you know you really are a horrible person.

No. 213606

God I hate it when cheaters do this stupid 'bawww I feel bad' tripe. Obviously love if you felt an ounce of real remorse you wouldn't have done it in the first place, and if you cared even a little bit about your boyfriend you supposedly love you would've stopped before it went too far. It's not like your finger accidentally fell on the keyboard and typed 'my fanny is so wet for u rn' fucking is it? And you even admit to have done it 'a lot' so you could've stopped it if you wanted, but you didn't. Plus the fact that you don't want to dump your friend despite all this says a lot about the kind of person you are.
You know perfectly well what you're supposed to do - dump them both, for their sakes, because they deserve better. But you don't want to do it because you don't actually care about it and you don't really feel bad, you're just throwing yourself a little pity party to look better in your own eyes and are going to resume two-timing as soon as you're done, I guarantee it. You don't actually want advice nor will you actually follow it, you'll just scream into the void for a while and bawww about it on the Internet where it's safe then go about your day as usual.
Damn right you should kys.

No. 213607

I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a guy in the same way knowing how they all have this disgusting lust towards teenagers, it's so fucked up and morally wrong. I feel like it's ruined my dating chances forever because I feel such a disgusted disdain and I'm not attracted to girls.

No. 213610

I completely understand you. Losing an animal is so hard. Our pets are so important to us and such a huge part of our everyday life.

But as others have mentioned, I'm sure you gave her the best possible life. 18 years old for a cat is actually above average! And as cheesy as it sounds, she will always be in your memories. Hugs

No. 213611

Don’t let the internet fuck you up, there are lots of guys who don’t have an attraction to teenagers. Just be vigilant for warning signs of weirdo-ness, it’s hard to hide it for long.

No. 213617

I have a old cat I've had for a super long time as well anon. Her health problems are getting slowly getting worse(some manageable others it's just "if it starts causing her pain then you know what has to happen"). Some neighbors dumped her and she was so starved we thought she was a baby at the time. No exact age because of that but the bare minimum is she's about 12-14 years and I've had her since I was 10. I know her time is coming

I don't know how you got her when she was a baby but you may have saved her from a life possibly full of suffering. I know other anons have already said it but you gave her the best time you could and I've seen too many cats(and other animals) that don't get to feel love until they're close to death, if at all. She's always in your heart and you can still love her without her physically being with you as lame as that sounds.

It's awful but remember, sometimes you gotta love a pet enough to know when living is too hard on them and that it's time to let go.

No. 213619

>knowing how they all have this disgusting lust towards teenagers
Not all guys have a lust for teenagers for the same reason not all women have a lust for teenagers. There are perfectly well-adjusted men out there who crave emotional maturity, intelligence, and experience in a partner. My bf being one of them.
Contrary to what's often said on this website, there are plenty of men out there and you shouldn't let a few bad apples spoil the bunch.

No. 213621

Wow bitch, apparently you were cheated on yourself. You assumed a bunch of things based on >>213542, just a single post. Get off your high horse, you're on lolcow so you're probably not a good person either.

No. 213627

File: 1512082682772.jpg (504.65 KB, 750x748, caf36fb482db4699043abb9e20f1c9…)

You're just a human who made a bad decision. No, I'm not going to be an edgelord anon and tell you to kys or pretend like you're the worst person evar for doing something literally billions of people have done before.

Yet why are you still with this guy? You resent him and you don't even have the proximity for him to give you the attention you need. He flat out wasn't communicating with you. Tell them both that you need a break and you need to figure out what you require in a relationship, and what you're able to sacrifice and what you're not.
You'll just repeat this mistake the next time things get bad without doing a bit of self-reflection.

>mfw people acting like relationships are life-ending decisions

No. 213663

I'm so fucking anxious all the time, hands and legs shaking, increased heart rate and breathing, sometimes sweat like hell and no meds I try work. I have to leave for work at 6.30 and I haven't slept a wink in two days, I'm gonna go fucking crazy.

No. 213691

Thanks, anon. I appreciate the advice.

No. 213692

>mad that bf had something with other people when you weren't together
>cheated on him while still together

No. 213698

I really struggle with anxiety and always have. I recently went back to university and have an essay due, I had to take time off last year due to the fact I was sexually assaulted and it turned me into a complete shut in, to the point I couldn't even bring myself to go to class, to go the shop - nothing. Anyway I'm back now and already the anxiety is kicking in, I feel so stupid. I have an essay due and I'm trying to do it but I'm struggling, my boyfriend will want to see me this weekend but I really need to get it finished. I bailed on him last week due to anxiety and I'm worried he's going to think I'm making up excuses or just think this is all too much.

No. 213699

NO ONE LIKES ME AT SCHOOL! The stares I get when I do announcements or help them. They look bad, they hating me, they're faking it. I'm absolutely scared, I don't wanna go back, don't make me go back. I don't want to be fake with them, I don't want them to be fake with me please idk what I do wrong. what the fuck am I doing wrong

No. 213700

How old are you? Calm down. They probably don't hate you as much as you think they do, and even if they do their opinion shouldn't matter much.

No. 213710

If he's your boyfriend, he should understand that you have to focus on your essay. It's nice that he wants to see you, but if he has your best interests at heart and you're having a stressful time, he should be able to understand.
I'm sorry to hear about the assault. In my last year of uni I also had anxiety I thought I was over resurface from a past abusive experience. It felt so irrational but in the end I reached out to an online survivors service and they reassured me it was normal to be triggered in stressful times.
You can always come here to talk but maybe you could look up online email support or see if your uni has a counseling service? I thought it was a waste of precious time, but actually having an understanding person who I could just drop all that stuff on really helped me make it through that year. Good luck anon!

No. 213715

Downing with kombucha or some cold tea always worked really well for me, until I got over the taste. I think the quicker you can get it down your throat, the better.

No. 213717

I know exactly what you mean, and I tend to fixate on looks to an unhealthy degree as well. I'm not sure this is good advice, but something that helped me is to get used to seeing your 'crooked side'. I have this mirrored shelf that opens up besides another mirror so I can see my opposite reflection, and I'll sit and look myself and try and get used to it. I've done this for awhile, and I've gotten to the point that I can almost accept myself even though it brings out my super crooked smile/teeth/nose.

No. 213718

I've been having reoccurring dreams involving my ex from 6 yrs ago. We haven't talked in years, and we were really bad for each other at the time, but these dreams are relentless. It's always sweet, warm, comforting feelings. When I wake up it makes me miss him, and I wish I could just stop having these dreams because they're messing with my waking emotions because I seriously did not think of him before these dreams. I have a boyfriend who I love now, and it's really distressing me and I don't know why.

Sorry this is a very small problem in the grand scheme of my life, but I don't have anyone else to vent this to, so might as well do it here!

No. 213719

I fucking despise my insomnia; its absolutely humiliating to tell your boss that you can't go to work because you havent slept. I do very well at the job I have because I haul ass no matter what, but im still embarassed and angry whenever I have to send a text to my job in a haze at 5am that I can't make it cause im still awake. Plus after a while peoples reactions start looping like the dialogue of an NPC and its so difficult to not get an attitude when people ask redundant shit like "have you tried Vitamin D, Melatonin etc" or the ever classic joke "Oh have you been up all night gaming hurrhurr"
I get it comes with good intentions(mostly) and im always kind when I reply because how the hell would they know my background story anyways. It just sucks complete ass and I feel like a tremendous shitbag because I can't just do a normal basic task thats detrimental to all around health both physically and mentally.
(Im working on finding a doctor who can actually help me and its been over a year long process so far cause im not rich nor do I have all the time in the world to waste on doctors when I also have to be self sufficient)

No. 213727

anon similar situation but I'm narcoleptic. I use to take meds when I was on insurance but I was still walking around in a daze all day. The smallest hint of stress and I'm out like a light. Or sometimes my muscles stop working. Crashed a few cars, my family is up my ass saying "oh just buy a new car and get over your fear" or dumb people telling me to stop being lazy and "get over it"
oi back off, I can ride a bike or take a bus.
But basically, now that I have no meds I work out a lot and go in the sun. But I never have a normal sleep pattern at night. Ah sorry for the rant anon, but I feel your pain

No. 213733

Thanks anon, Its nice seeing other people with some form of sleep disorder talk too. Specially when family members want you to get over it and you gotta explain the apparent magical phenomenon that is your daily life. Hope you have a nice day and stay strong anon!

No. 213747

File: 1512139987517.jpg (119.58 KB, 1890x1023, keijo-ep-2-pic-5.jpg)

MY ASS IS STARTING TO SAG. Holy shit, how do I fix it? I've always had the typically pear, large butt and thighs.

No. 213748

>What should I do?
I seriously don't get how people cheat and not realize its fucked up. There are so many steps involved in all of this and at none of them you stopped and said no. You could have said no when things were getting flirty, you could have stopped when you straight up started talking about sex, hell you could have even stopped during the middle of it. But at every step, you decided to continue forward. On top of that you have the audacity to complain that you don't want to cut contact with this guy when you fucked up on such a fundamental level.

If you want to try to continue the relationship, you need to be fucking honest with him and tell him what you did. You need to acknowledged that any trust he has towards you may be permanently damaged despite however much you try to fix things and that he may dump you anyways.

No. 213750

>If he's your boyfriend, he should understand that you have to focus on your essay.
If she already bailed on him last week it's pretty easy to see why he might think she's just making up excuses though. Fool me once, twice and all of that.

No. 213751


No. 213755

LDRs are based on trust and commitment and you fucked that up. You obviously are not ready for what a LDR consists of–break it off for the betterment of the both of you.

No. 213757

ldrs are the stupidest things in the universe.

No. 213762

says someone who hasn't been able to make one work.

No. 213764

I feel sad and tired all day everyday. Being a NEET has taken its toll on me. I'm a failure and I just want to go away

No. 213765

Nobody makes ldr's work, anon. They work for a while and then they fall apart in the most painful way. You're probably in the honeymoon phase of a LDR. I've been here too and it was great until it was shit. Only way to make a LDR work is to have a clear date on when the LDR stops and the real relationship starts.

No. 213766

>Only way to make a LDR work is to have a clear date on when the LDR stops and the real relationship starts.
I'm pretty sure most LDRs work with that in mind.

No. 213776

Haha you’d be surprised
>flash back of teenage me in embarrassing LDR with a boy I never met and never would meet

No. 213780

I don't understand what people find so bad about LDRs. I've been in one almost four years now and we've only physically met a few times since we live in different countries and it's pretty hard to coordinate. It doesn't upset me, I'm not miserable. Phone calls, video, text conversations are enough to satisfy me. Of course I wanna be with physically but I dont know, physical touch isn't something important to me and and I don't feel bothered by its absents. I see people talking about how hard and painful LDRs are d I just don't get it. I feel like I'm the only one on the world who feels this way and its frustrating.

No. 213781

My LDR worked anon, Im still with him and we have an apartment together, it only works if its meant to work

No. 213786

I’m married to my LDR, I’m pretty sure they can work if you aren’t in a shitty one.

No. 213787

It's weird that you see a huge nose when other people take a pic of you from a distance… Usually it's the front camera that enlarges the nose because of the darn fisheye effect.
Maybe it depends on the camera? I usually look like shite with Samsung cameras because they usually have such a shit lighting, while with a professional Canon/Nikon I see the same image of me I see in the mirror.
Or maybe it's the fact that the way our faces look depends on the light. I see big changes with different lights.
Either way almost everyone is asymmetrical, and it's always kind of a shock to see ourselves in a non-mirrored image, but just think of the fact that other people don't perceive you nearly as bad as you do because they've always seen the non-mirrored you. You're just not used to it, like when we hear our voices in recorded audios and say "Is this my real voice? It's so weird"

No. 213789

File: 1512155403541.jpg (28.22 KB, 768x431, 1511559132656.jpg)

>tfw backbreaking job with 12 hour shifts

I fucking hate being a 3rd worlder

No. 213793

im thankful that tourist season has passed where I am
however it will return in the spring/summer ;_;

No. 213797

I have moderate GAD (diagnosed recently although I previously had mild anxiety it got worse) and BED (Just adding this in for bg knowledge)…

In October, I randomly started having some weird fears that I dont actually like this guy I like and Im fake etc. and start questioning everything about me… Ive had a crush on my friend for a year and just last week or the week before I was thinking romantically about him like I typically do. NOW I am at a point where I feel liek im starting to see him more as a friend way realizing after he rejected me 2 times, that clearly he doesnt feel the same way and were good as friends… Anyway theres this random dude in one of my classes and I dont feel attracted to him or feel like we have much in common… I dont even talk to him much either except 4 shortly in class if hes actually there, but some of my friends seem to think he likes me… Typically, when a guy likes me i tend to have no interest in them (bc I usually just dont liek them anyway? guys i like dont like me and anyway theres no actual proof this particular guy likes me). ANYWAY despite all thsi lately I have been having these weird fears like that something will happen between this or that I will like him, etc. Like literally??? I feel like my brain keeps stirring up ideas that I personally dont agree with, but I cant stop thinking strange thoughts like this and its so confusing to me… Lately I also have random fears that I will get hit by a car (and cant stop thinking about it), will hit someone with my car by accident, will get schizophrenia, etc.. Like I keep having all these random thoughts and I feel like im going crazy. I am finally seeing my psychologist Wednesday (I have only seen her twice) and I wanna tell her this stuff but im really scared I guess that she will judge me even though I usually dont care what ppl think… However these thoughts are ecxhausting me, causing me random stomach pains, triggering my BED, and I have just been crying/feeling overwhelmed/unable to focus too often now. I just want these thoughts to end.. Can anyone relate or like anything? I feel so alone and like no one experiences this esp bc I keep going on Google to try and search if anyone has spoken about this before…

No. 213799

my bosses hate me and favour this new employee over me to the point where it's not even me being paranoid anymore. they barely speak to me and when they do its short and abrupt, they pay her more than me despite me working there way longer/being equally as qualified as her, they gave her a store key and make me go pick it up from their house because theyre never in on time. worst part is though i'm so fucking stressed because of it i've started to fuck up a lot at work, forgetting things, underpricing things. and i just fucked up big time with underpricing work for a customer (she gave me a sob story while i was trying to calculate, when i called her to correct my mistake she was angry so i still gave her a reduced price) i'm quitting here as soon as i find a new job, but fuck i just am having a panic attack from feeling so irresponsible and worrying that they'll find out I underpriced her order…

No. 213801

I miss my ex (who was also my best friend for years before we dated), I'm crushing on a taken guy, I'm unemployed and depressed and I barely see the point in anything anymore.

I'm just sad all the time. Everything is temporary. I laugh when I hang out with friends but soon that warmth goes away and I'm left with an empty dark coldness.

No. 213821

Teenagers barely count as sapient anyways

No. 213830

I feel like this is just a lie we tell ourselves to feel less embarrassed about shit we do at that age.

No. 213882

The teenage brain is literally more garbage at making decisions and assessing risk up until it stops developing at age 25.
It's not a lie, it's a fact. It's why we have so many laws to protect minors even in situations where it seems like they have the capacity to consent.

No. 213884

That's true but it's not barely counts as sapient-tier. Lower capacity for certain things doesn't make them brain dead retards, it's just the stepping stone between childhood and adulthood.

No. 213886

I'm not that anon but I'm sure it was just an exaggeration.

No. 213903

I know this is stupid but I've never been hit on, I've never had a guy make comments about my body, been cat called, yelled at in the street or anything like that. It's a horrible thing to happen and it's not like I want to be harrassed but… most women act and talk like it's this universal experience for women no matter what you look like. I can't help but feel like I must be really ugly. I know it's dumb.

No. 213904

i have an ulcer on the inner part of my upper lip and it hurts so bad, ugh. my teeth keep rubbing against it…

No. 213911

Bonjela if you have it, regular swishing of very very salty water around your mouth if you don't. Stress,sleepless or bad oral hygiene makes it worse.

No. 213928

File: 1512177518349.jpg (107.43 KB, 1000x760, menisthesame.jpg)

I've had such shitty relationships and overall interactions with men for a long time. I recently had a traumatic experience that was the last straw. At the point I can't imagine myself in a relationship with a man and I don't find any pleasure imagining it. It's kind of a good thing because it let me realize my attraction to women, but I feel dysfunctional and lonely at times. I still have this distant hope that there will be one good man to love, but then I remember men have made me feel worse than anything else in my life.

No. 213942

Maybe it's more like you've never looked vulnerable, anon. Not to sound judgey, but I've definitely seen and heard of women getting harassed who weren't the prettiest. It's more like these creeps go after women who are in compromised positions, and strike when they think they have a chance of getting away with it. I'm sure they take advantage of women who have obvious flaws thinking they can get to them by using their insecurities.
Kinda felt that way when I was growing up overweight. It's like guys knew that I knew I was fat and harassed and approached me more thinking that the slightest thing they said would provoke an interaction from me bc I must've been desperate for it. And if i became offended and they got rejected then hey, I was just the fat girl and I should be so lucky they gave my ugly ass the time of day. Negs like that happened to me a lot.

Took me a long time to find a decent bf because behavior like that messed up my trust.

No. 213947

For some reason, my period this month is making me feel the exact opposite of literally any other month out of the 10 years I've had it. Typically I'm tired and moody, but for some god awful reason I'm way too wired, chipper, and cannot sleep for more than three hours at a time. It sucks so hard. I'd rather feel tired during the day than have restless sleep during the evening. I look tired and my eyes are bloodshot without eye drops, but I just cannot make myself sleep.

At the risk of sounding uninformed, can your period switch up like that? Because I'd rather be tired and look okay than look tired and not have my fucking body register that I am.

No. 213958

I basically got told that the fact that I have mental illness (which I do get treatment for) will prevent me from doing the only thing I've cared about for the past year. I feel dead inside and honestly just want to end it.

No. 213961

The guy I dated for 2 months told me he is married and I still see him.

I feel shitty as hell.

I was a NEET for 4 years, 25 years old virgin without friends.

Got my shit together in 2015, got a job, lost weight, cleared my skin, got my own place etc.

First boyfriend I get after so long and he lied to me in such matter.

Even worse, I developed feelings for him and have been trying to leave him and call him out for his shit but I lack a backbone and have not been able to.

I'm also pretty naive and easy to manipulate in love matters because I lack experience.

I don't know what to feel.

No. 213962

I'm tired of seeing the phrase "break up with him," in these threads so much. just fucking kill him, anon. make it look like an accident. it's for the best, plus you'll probably feel better afterwards.

No. 213964

Gather interactions with him that prove he was seeing you (texts, etc.) Break up with him and send them to his wife. She shouldn't have to put up with his shit either.

No. 213970

what is it, anon?

No. 213971

LMAO I had a really long difficult day today and this made me laugh so much, thank you

No. 213976

Is it wrong to want to ruin someone's job because they fucked you over for it
Some dumb bitch left is mid holiday season to work somewhere else and I just want to go in there get a receipt and blow up about her

It's such a struggle not too I'm so stressed lol

No. 213979

Getting her fired won't make your current situation at work any better.

No. 213982

I mean that sucks that she left and you guys will be short, but in my experience, it's usually a history of poor management that causes workers enough aggravation to leave and say screw the consequences. How is your job, aside from her? Doesn't sound like a job worth having if she didn't even put in a two week's.

No. 213984

File: 1512195750847.gif (852.21 KB, 245x191, A2166069-FEE5-44CE-A534-C35565…)

I want a partner but I can’t even make friends. I’m so lonely that anyone I tell about it has heard it from me so often that they don’t know what to say anymore. I just want to give up but I’m not sick enough to kill myself. I haven’t done laundry outside of my bathtub in four months. I only see my therapist once a week and she wanted me to start an intensive outpatient group therapy three times a week but I was too depressed to even get that organized even though she’s been trying to get me to for months. A few minutes ago I told an internet friend I talk to daily that I was feeling depressed again and he made a joke. I want to be taken seriously. I need attention and idk what to do anymore. It’s like talking in an empty room lately…

No. 213988

You need to shake off that shit, anon or you're going to end on the hospital. It's hard but trust me, you don't want it.

No. 213990


My job is okay, it's fast paced and slightly stressful. I work at a Chinese restaurant, and this girl has been there for a long time now. We've lost 3 people now, one went to another store. The other was a druggy piece of shit who called out all the time. She complained she didn't get enough hours but would even come in for the ones she got.

The pay is great, I make good money….so good it makes it hard to get any other job

No. 213991

> I was feeling depressed again and he made a joke.
>I need attention and idk what to do anymore

how often do you tell him about your depression? at some point there's just nothing else to say but making jokes. the therapist is for taking you seriously and helping you emotionally, friends not as much

No. 214005

File: 1512209199147.jpg (96.99 KB, 500x569, fuck my life.jpg)

>I am a mechanical engineer.
>Recently I went for an interview with a cool innovative company.
>first interview for a graduate position.
>What could go wrong?
>There is two dudes (boss and HR) and a woman. >woman straight away calls me 'babyfaced' and that 'looks fade' like no shit I thought that I would age backwards like fucking Benjamin Button or someshit.
>Rest of interview goes ok until next shit smeared question.
>HR dude asks me 'How would you cope with reliability? As a young woman people within this company will not usually trust your judgement. How would you cope with that and what do you do?'
>I tell them that I cannot change peoples perception of me and that I would probably tell the HR.
>HR laughs in my face
>In fact they all laugh. The woman goes 'aww'. Boss looks pissed.
>He pulls out a turbo charger.
>Asks me what it is.
>I have no idea I guess I am a young woman says me
>they realize they should have probably not excreted their 50s era beliefs on me
>they all try to backpedal making it worse at the same time like 'its just really hard to look past your looks'
>i leave i just fucking leave that fucking shithole
>tell my career consultant they were assholes

I have wasted three years of my life and put myself in dept for this shit.

No. 214007

Holy fuck that's bleak
I heard at a recent php conference near me, the only women giving a presentation made one joke about how she's vegan whilst talking, and a man left a public rant on the event page about how she hijacked the conference with social justice at an event that was only for professionalism and was clearly only working in the industry due to positive discrimination or some shit

No. 214010


I'm sorry anon. I'm a gas engineer but due to the similar treatment, I had to become a web monkey. Why's life so shit?

There must be more positions that are decent. Fingers crossed you find them.

I hear men constantly digressing and adding personal beliefs but women do it, then it's unprofessional.

I can't count the times when there was supposed to be an official and formal meeting turned into men cracking jokes, that aren't even funny.

No. 214011

Ugh, fuck those dildo jugglers. Don’t forget ur boss anon

No. 214019

That was some Handmaid's Tale shit, I'm sorry anon. I'm sure there are some actually professional companies out there.

No. 214020

I'm having the worst day. I made myself eat and barf all day because I'm bored and can't bring myself to work at home.

No. 214057

Good on you for leaving straight up and not pretending you hope they'll call you back. I'll bet you were not the first one getting treated this way but it's quite possible you're the first one who did anything about it.

No. 214059

I am so sad and mad and pissed and furious right now.

One of my coworkers is pregnant. She is leaving in 2 months. She has been showing up late (without telling anyone), leaving early, not picking up our normal work duties, forgetting to do basic things that has been causing a ton of extra stress and work for me, and then I recently found out (we share computers and she left her tabs open) that she has been going on facebook, pinterest, mom forums, and shopping websites while working.

I have been getting 0 breaks when I have been working with her for months now, and feeling pretty ragging most of the time. There are only two of us working at at time (small office), so if I say anything to my boss, it will obviously be me who complained.

But at the same time, I really like her as a person. She is really sweet. I just feel like I am being taken advantage of and doing damn near everything. I feel so exhausted when I get home that I have been needing to rest each weekend and hate being at work, I am dreaming of quitting too.

I just went through some major health issues and am having a lot of problems with my husband who is so depressed he is trying to hurt himself (he is in treatment but it is going slow), my pet is sick, we are stressed about money… I often get barely any sleep and feel terrible, but I STILL show up to work and work hard.

Everyone, my coworkers who come in on other days, my boss and other higher ups, etc, have been getting mad at me about miscommunications too, which are only happening because of her.

I just want to cry. I don't know what to do. Living with this for 2 more months feels like it will kill me.

No. 214081

File: 1512250063047.jpg (204.07 KB, 1024x1024, 1512006218386.jpg)

Things I'm salty about:

Bf kept sticking his feet off from the loveseat and kicking our Christmas tree while he was playing video games. Now the side of the tree where he was kicking isn't lighting. Which means he either jiggled some wiring or a lightbulb went out.
It triggers my ocd each time I fucking look at it now, and it's a pre-lit, flocked fake tree and idk how I'm going to fix those damn lights bc he sure as shit won't do it.

I had a friend stay at our place for like a month because she got kicked out suddenly by her ex and didn't have a place lined up straight away. She dumped a bunch of her stuff into our storage unit and around my apartment so she wouldn't have to buy a unit herself. Instead of saving her stock money and considering moving back home, she signed on to a place with her friends for roommates and blew a bunch of money on crap she didn't need. She suddenly required a hospital stay and now her friends are backpedaling saying that she should just move back home since she won't have the money for rent.
What makes me irritated is that a bunch of her shit is still here and it kind of is asking a lot since we don't have a lot of room. She hasn't asked about the stuff since October. Her friend even dropped shit off here that she never came back to get (it was cheap dollar store crafts and shit, into the trash it went!)
I'm thinking of hawking a couple of things I know she won't miss or won't inquire about, because my bf had a rough month and we're the ones low on the cash now. She has this coffee gift box of a particular brand name that I'm thinking of selling. No idea how much it goes for but I'm starting to feel less guilty for thinking it as time goes by…

And honestly, I know the last part makes me sound shitty but when I thought I was helping somebody I didn't agree to be someone's dump for their garbage.

No. 214089

Nah, fuck her anon. She may be a nice person but the fact is she's being selfish and lazy as hell. Hate to say it, but most younger people with kids or who want to start families are self-centered.
>It's a holiday? You have to give me the time off because MUH KIDZ
>Cut my hours? Well cut someone else's I need the hours because MUH KIDZ
>You won't give me time off? But what am I supposed to do MUH KIDZ

Report her to your supervisor, because either way she shouldn't be looking at pinterest and facebook when there's work to be done.

No. 214098

I want to delete all my social media aside from vital messaging apps, but I'm worried that if I do it'll be seen as attention seeking and dramatic :v(

No. 214100

If you don't want it to come off as dramatic you could just stop using them without deleting anything.

No. 214107

I deleted mine and no one noticed/gave a shit. Are you sure you don’t want the attention?…

No. 214111

Caught my husband jacking it to porn a couple times recently and it really hurts my feelings. I know it's normal but fuck. I got pretty upset though. I'm not good enough. Figures tho because all I do is complain about myself.

No. 214116

i want to kill myself, im bored and tired. that's it

No. 214117

Also tried to doorknob partial suspension kill msyelf but I was too scared when I started to feel numb. Why am I so adamant about killing myself, but when I go to do it I can't? Ugh

No. 214118

>I know it's normal but fuck.

I hear this a lot but I don't think it is. At least not on a frequent basis. I mean how often do you masturbate to porn?
Tell him how badly it hurts your feelings. I confessed to my bf when I found out he frequented live chat girls and he cut that shit out because he values our relationship more than the porn. If he doesn't meet your needs? D U M P.

No. 214119

He says it's only stimulation for him masturbating. He never had sex before me so all he's hadn't his whole life was his hand. He's not going to stop. Fml. I kinda want to leave because of that but we're married so it's a little bit harder. Plus I moved countries for him.

No. 214123

>Plus I moved countries for him.

Wow, I'm really sorry to hear that but he sounds like a creep making excuses. It's not your problem that he didn't get laid, what matters is how his actions make you feel now. If he doesn't understand that well…

No. 214126

I won't pretend that the doorknob suspension with a scarf wasn't something I've tried before anon, but there's a very high probability that it will not kill you and leave you as a vegetable. Or someone could find you.

Whatever it is you're going through probably isn't worth it. Really weight the consequences when you're in your right mind.

No. 214130

Maybe it's just because I also enjoy porn but I never understood why others find it to be a big deal. I know for me it doesn't effect my sex life or mean I'm any less attracted to my bf, and I know it's the same for him. I think some people's sexualities just work differently. Unless he's seriously addicted and shows lack of interest in sex with you/ is having ED, I don't think it's much of a problem. Just my two cents though.

No. 214131

Really? Fuck because I do tell him how much it hurts plus my ex abused me physically and emotionally and looked at porn. Told him this. He still doesn't stop. I guess I'm really shit. He says he's attracted to me but I feel so inadequate. I dunno what to do honestly.

No. 214133

If no one will find me, will I really have that much of a chance as a vegetable?

No. 214135

>I know it’s normal
Just because something is considered normal doesn’t mean it’s healthy. My partner was a porn addict when we met, had only lost his virginity a few months prior (in his twenties). If it bothers you he should be taking that into consideration, and if he doesn’t… what does that tell you about the value he has for your feelings?

Also, if honestly all you do is complain yourself, then stop. Improve the things you don’t like instead of bitching. Even if it has no impact on your partner, it will make you feel a ton better, and that’s what really matters.

No. 214136

Also I feel like compared to porn, live chat girls is a lot worse borderline cheating since there's actually an interactive element. Glad he cut that out.

No. 214139

He sometimes can't keep a boner during sex. im also pregnant with his kid so I'm like what the fuck did I get into but at the same time I'm so attached to him it sucks. My life is a shit show holy fuck

No. 214142

>why am I so adamant…but I can’t
Because you’re not adamant anon, and I’m really pleased about that. Please seek help. There is no “best way” to kill yourself, they all run the risk of just seriously disabling you and someone is going to find you eventually, whether it’s 1 minute or 1 week later. Please speak to someone.

No. 214143

You're right, I really should improve but I have zero motivation and awfully depressed. Excuses excuses.

No. 214144

Yep. Think about it: If you lose consciousness and the rope/scarf apparatus becomes loose, blood circulation would resume but there'd be enough oxygen depletion from your brain to cause damage. Or if you slip out when your body starts to move involuntarily.

Sounds like prolonged suffering to me.
What's happening right now in your life that's worth that amount of pain?

No. 214145

It’s normal for guys to not be able to stay hard sometimes, it happens to everyone. However if it gets worse after he’s watched porn, then it may be causing a problem. Your life doesn’t have to be a shit show, you have the power to change things anon!!

No. 214146

>he sometimes can't keep a boner during sex
Yeah if it's at that point it might be a problem. I know stopping porn/masturbating entirely for at least a short point of time often helps guys with that. You could try posing that as a fun thing, something that would improve your sex life and make sex feel better for him in general etc. And try talking to him again; if he really won't take how you feel into account he sounds like a shitty guy honestly.

No. 214147

I’m 8 months pregnant and have bipolar disorder. I know what it’s like to be seriously depressed and unmotivated. However your child will come into this world and look to you as an example… don’t teach them to be a victim of circumstance. Your motivation should be showing them how to make the best of their life. I’m rooting for you anon, you deserve to be happy.

No. 214149

Same anon with the porn husband who moved across the world. I want to live for our child, and I want his validation so much but I feel so isolated here and I do fuck all because of language. If I was back home I'd get a therapist and it all working out… but here I need my husband's help for everything and I'm truly a mess. I don't want to go on the pills but I think i need to or I will try to kill myself again. Honestly I'm a horrible person. I try to learn the language but I also have no motivation there. It's like even though I want to try and see things become positive I have absolutely zero willpower to do it.

No. 214153

Aw man anon. Don't kill yourself because of this dickwad and his porno problems.
You're not a horrible person. You're a person who's caught in a lonely, vulnerable circumstance but it can and will get better if you take the steps to make it so.

You're depressed. And it's okay to be sad and depressed, but don't think that the world has got to end because your husband is treating you poorly and you didn't adapt a language well.
Live unapologetically. And like you said, sticking around for your child is well worth the fight.

No. 214167

He's such a talented and wonderfully nice person too which sucks because I feel like it's my fault. Just not good enough for him to stop. Thank you, I just do fuck all.. and sad that perhaps my child won't want to speak English with me when they grow up. Immersed in the other language that maybe one day I'll have a handle on. I feel like I'll be the worst parent ever but yeah I just hate myself lol. I sometimes want to move back but I also feel a lot for my husband, but not good enough for him set the same time. e.g. Not even putting that much effort in his language for our lives being more comfortable. Thanks for listening though.

No. 214189

Anon if he's really such a nice guy he should be reassuring you that it's not like that at all. If you feel like you "aren't good enough for him" there's something very dysfunctional in your relationship.

No. 214230

He does but I pale that much in comparison IMO I think he's just dealing with me and only somewhat cares plus we're having a child so he won't want to leave at this point I guess

No. 214236

I know how it feels to be insecure about that kind of thing, but (assuming he's as good a guy as you say and not an asshole), you gotta trust him on that. Trust is a pretty fundamental part of relationships. If you have a good reason not to believe what he says you should get out though.

No. 214254


Why is food so difficult. I do not mean this in an Ana way either.
I've never had self esteem problems regarding my weight. I'm the average as of now. It is so hard to eat because when I get depressed (which is often) I have no desire to eat. I already feel full when I'm depressed. I could go a day or two without eating. This use to be a bigger problem a few years ago. I was so depressed and lost alot of weight. I had to have been about 105lbs, around there and my usual is 133 which is normal for my height. I only had noticed the weight when my friend got extremely worried, of course like I said… I don't have an ED, I had no problem eating food when I realized what was really happening and with a little support I had my head on straight, come to find out that I had been becoming light headed and losing hair not only from that, but a few deficiencies as well.

I now have no friends. I have become increasingly depressed and I can already see my appetite changing with my increasing depression. I'm scared, I'm worried. I don't talk to my boyfriend because I feel like a weight with my emotions. Anytime I've talked to him about my depression, he says nothing but go to the doctor and get meds.

Getting meds I've wanted to do but my father has always been very disapproving of any medication like that or therapy. I'm old enough, I'm an adult and can make my own decisions however I can't do anything without being questioned about details of my life.

I have alot brewing inside and I've been depressed for years and had a few close calls. I don't know what to do anymore anons. Any advice or a little push with words I think is what I need right now.

No. 214258

I know this isn't a huge deal but psych meds and birth control made me gain 20 pounds. I'm completely off both but I'm wondering if staying on the birth control would have benefited me, my period is extremely irregular. But I just can't deal with the weight gain, I feel like a fat whale.

No. 214267

ok, here i go.

<be at a party in sept
>meet a qt butch girl through mutual friends, end up making out with her
>follows me around (as in not in a sperg way but in a "wants to hang out with me" way)
>keeps talking about how pretty i am, we hit off p well
>adds me on snapchat, keep sending pics and shitty memes on a daily basis all the way til today
>comments on pics i post of myself and keeps the conversation going
>sometimes talk about going clubbing together but nothing is set in stone
>in all of my previous relationships or could-be rships, i've been the "passive one" while my partners have been ones taking initiative when it comes to taking the next step forward
>she's introverted as fuck and i get the impression she's in the exact same situation
<be another party in late november
>some of our mutual friends are present (not the girl herself though)
>during a drunken blip of curiosity, i go to one of them and ask something among the lines "hey, what's the deal with (qt butch)?"
>my friend confirms my assumptions about the girl being introverted to the max
>says the girl has asked her whether i'm single and talked about how cute she finds me, tells me i should go for it
>the girl invites me to her friend's party
>mixed feelings.jpg
>she keeps being touchy feely with me
>4 out of the 9 pics she has added to her story are ones where she's deliberately photographing me, the 5 others are casual atmosphere snaps where nobody's face is visible
>i get the impression she's also trying to get another girl's attention
>like. she's going back and forth between me and her
>we snog at one point and talk about meeting again the next day
>when i leave, she hugs me twice
<here comes the embarrassing part
>at one point (after both of us have got drunk big time) she goes "tbh, when we first met i struggled to focus on anything anyone said because i was too focused on admiring your face"
>i end up blurting out something among the lines "you know what, i've developed bit of a crush on you as of late"
>this is where my memory gives up so i have no clue what she answered

anyway. fellow farmers, help me speculate what she wants and/or tell me what tf i should do
if it matters, we're both 18F

tl;dr: not sure whether a girl i have a crush on feels the same

No. 214269

My boss is an insufferable cunt
Since my family have pushed me to be focused on getting a good education before worrying about money this is my first ever job at 20 years old. It's basically an internship thats part of my uni degree.

Don't get me wrong, i love the work i'm doing and i'm having a blast but my boss is gross.

He sits right next to me and eats food with his mouth fully open and you can hear every particle of food being digested in his mouth

guy next to be is similar in age, he's a cool guy and we get along quite well. He codes so the boss is always down his throat to make some "flappy bird rip off" or "piano tiles rip off" (i work in games dev).
This boss has not 1 original bone in his entire body and it pisses me off because we have a team of amazingly talented people but he is so lazy he forces them to re-skin an already made game.
Anyway the guy next to me works really hard, the boss at least once a day walks behind him and complains about a part of code that is "broken" even though it's not. He has 3 people telling him it's not broken at all and he will not accept it and talks down to him all the time. He compares him to his also insufferable kids. "my kids can do that and they're KIDS"

He has brought is kids to work a handful of times and his kids are the same, they're about 10-12 years old. Talk over people who are trying to help them and talk down to anyone they think has more knowledge than them. He's brought his wife into the office too and his wife sits in the corner of the room swearing at everything.

Too top it all off he's always staring at my chest if i'm talking to him. It's a casual office so everyone is in a tshirt and jeans, including me. I've never once shown more than half a collarbone in that office and he just stares at my 2 sizes too big shirt im wearing.

There's nothing that can be done about this i just needed to vent, at least this job is temporary and i'm getting decent pay.

No. 214272

Not sure?! The only way she could have be more direct in her intentions is if she grabbed you by the pussy.

No. 214276

Went through the same thing, it's bullshit.
>Gotta leave 2h early, kiddo is sick and no one can pick her up !
>Gotta leave early again kiddo burned herself and now I gotta drive her to her medical appointment
>Oops got pregnant
>Takes the longest pregnancy leave I have ever seen

Boss was pissed for paying a full time employee who didn't show up for almost 6 whole months so he took it out on me of course. And after that he admitted he'll never hire a mid twenties woman again because of that. I bet future employers will think that of me too even though I don't plan on ever having kids :/ sucks

No. 214282

lol yeah she obviously likes you and if you like her, go for it anon!

No. 214293

> It is so hard to eat because when I get depressed (which is often) I have no desire to eat. I already feel full when I'm depressed.
Wish I had something to say. A friend of mine has a similar issue, only now is she outside of the underweight range. All I've been able to do is to take her out and make sure she at least gets something into her system so she doesn't die from malnutrition.

No. 214308

I’m being severely mistreated at work, and it’s caused me to go into a severe depression. I’m applying elsewhere but my field of work is tight so I’m so scared I’ll have no luck.
I fucked up really bad with a customer and basically am costing my shop like 200$
Now I don’t even feel justified in my quitting due to mistreatment, I deserve all the shit I’ve gone through.

No. 214366

I'm similar to you Anon. When I get into a depressed state, I have no desire to eat, either… and as someone in the underweight range it's definitely not a fun thing to go through.

I basically force myself to eat literally anything, usually bread or a few apple slices–something, because I know I need it. Or, even easier (but it can start to get sort of expensive after awhile), is to have, like, SlimFast or a nutritional drink so you're getting vitamins and such in. I found drinking some sort of meal substitute to be easier than trying to force myself to eat when I would fall into one of those cycles. That sounds like shitty ana talk, but they are better than going without eating anything.

It really is hard when the most I can guarantee myself sometimes is breakfast, you just have to push through it. I know that's shit advice, but that's what I try to do for myself because, like you, my parents don't approve of medication for things of that nature and I don't want to burden others with my problems.

No. 214367

I volunteered to watch a relative’s dog because they had to leave for a week but it’s driving me nuts. They asked me to stay at their house but I can barely get my schoolwork done because it keeps wanting to go outside and if we’re inside it humps my leg or constantly claws at me. If I try to put it in another room it whines and claws at the door, too.

I can’t even cough or sneeze without the dog running up to me.

No. 214382

Just here to say I’m drunk sitting next to my boyfriend waiting for this football game to be over so I can have drunk sex. God i hate sports. Ugggghhhh sports. Also thank you auto correct

No. 214399


Do I need to even ask if it has a crate / is crate trained?

Failure to discipline one's dog and provide it structure and routine is a form of abuse. The dog is spoiled, has attachment disorder, and lacks the ability to self-sooth. There are no easy or fast solutions, unfortunately.

No. 214429

I've had this one internet friend for around 3 years now, but she just gets on my nerves as of late. I don't find much joy in talking to her anymore, and she consistently ignores me when I tell her keeping all her feelings inside is bad. I want to just stop talking to her, but I know she'll blame herself for it and hate herself even more. I don't want to leave her when she's in a bad place emotionally, but it feels like I talk to her out of habit. I feel like our friendship is so shallow. She won't discuss anything of substance with me, and any relationship where the person can't confine in one another doesn't seem meaningful. What's the least painful way to end this for her?

No. 214442

File: 1512386894544.jpg (50.68 KB, 695x498, IMG_20170222_081310.jpg)

I just want a job damn it. Even below minimum wage would be a good start since I live with my parents. I'm literally doing nothing all day so I'm bored out of my mind. I want to wake up knowing I'm gonna get some fuckng money at the end of the month. Ugh.

No. 214444

I hate my job so much. I have to deal with so much shit, and the pay doesn’t even justify it. I want to quit so bad but everyone i know will be really upset (particularly parents) because i went from a NEET to a fairly productive person (work, uni) but god damn, it’s a lot to handle. No one wants to go from hours of lectures to hours of being yelled at and followed by customers. It’s not possible. I have to choose one and that choice will have my ostracized no matter what.

No. 214454

File: 1512401572445.jpg (52.23 KB, 960x724, sad2.jpg)

I'm feeling kinda down this month. I just got to know that my best friend got to share a booth at this super huge and popular anime con in my country with her ex-colleague. I'm really happy for her cuz we've been trying to apply for an art booth at that con for 4 years and failed each time to land a table because it's really hard for 'nobody-artists' to get a table there.

But I feel sorta sad as well because we had been dreaming and planning to get a booth at that con together since forever and now she has a chance at it but I don't. It's suppose to be just us two doing this art booth plan together but now I'm left in the dust.

I guess it's not her fault because her ex-colleague was the one who invited her to share their art booth. I dunno, guess I'm just disappointed that I couldn't join her after all the years of applying for the art booth together.

Another thing that I'm upset about is that I think deep down I no longer have the drive to continue improving on my art skills. I work full time now in a non-art related field, so I don't have the time to draw or post my art on social media anymore. It's sad because I've been drawing since I was in school and now due to a demanding job I just can't keep up with trying to improve my drawing skills and maintain an active social media presence. I feel very sad that I can't seem to keep up with other artists and stay stagnant. I also wish that I can just go back to drawing for fun and not try to compete with other new, young and popular artists on social media. But at the same time, I still dream to be a popular enough artist and have a group of artist friends (like an art circle or art group) that I can be in and go to anime cons together and set up art tables together and all that other happy art group activities. I've never been in an art group (except with my best friend but it's just us two so it doesn't count as an art group??) and get really depressed when I see popular artists on social media (especially instagram!) that know each other and go to cons together. I just want to belong!

(Also, on an unrelated note, my travel claim for November/December was rejected! Goodbye end of the year shopping plans.)

No. 214474

File: 1512411492124.jpg (6.71 KB, 326x155, 93854839.jpg)

I hate being in groups for anything. I know being in groups is supposed to be good for you, but I just don't like it. I either do all of the work, or I have nothing to contribute. It feels awkward standing at the outside of a group and having nothing to say. I feel like there's some type of wall seperating me from everyone else even though I'm only a few feet away. This goes for general conversations as well. I don't do much outside of community college, so I have nothing to talk about and it feels awkward.

Speaking of college, I have this report due today and I'm still slacking off. It's not I'm done with it, it's just stuff distracts me easily and it's not like I can help it. I have to be on the computer all of the time, so naturally I drift off and do other stuff. I just can't break my bad habits.

No. 214480

I wish it was possible to have one thread on the entire internet where women can discuss their negative experiences with men without it being flooded with "not all men", "I'm not like that", "dumb cunts you are wrong", and "umm actually most men aren't like that, let me explain it to you to score brownie point from men".

No. 214481

This so much. I was involved with the thread at the start and now I don't even want to look at it. Where's the hide button when you need it?
I have to confess that the
> "umm actually most men aren't like that, let me explain it to you to score brownie point from men"

are the ones that piss me off the most. I get the other groups, but women that shamelessly put themselves down so they could virtually sock cock to robots that don't view them as anything else but a cumdumpster? What a subhuman trash.

No. 214483

oops, I just noticed the hide button.

No. 214484

File: 1512416495086.png (126.8 KB, 601x508, 1496737608596.png)


>why isn't everyone a man hating harpy like me

No. 214486

I'm the same, whenever someone is taking my picture I try to hide most of my face with whatever I can. I hate looking at my face in photos so much.

No. 214492

File: 1512418876632.gif (364.54 KB, 680x504, 817FBE26-0CA1-4AB8-8770-7AD679…)

All of this. There’s room for shitposting and thoughtful discussion both, but


No. 214496

Maybe both male and female need to get a life and focus on something other than each other then. I never have man-hating conversations and therefore never end up being "mansplained" about it. Incredible

No. 214498

Do you even realize how well you illustrated the anons' point, robot?

No. 214499

This so much, and the typical
>well every man ive encountered and have a relationship with has been 100% unproblematic so I’m sorry u feel that way towards men
Like is the only men in your life God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit because otherwise I’m doubt

No. 214500


Honestly I wish the thread in crystal.cafe will be revived soon, because they actually have a strict no men policy.

No. 214507

File: 1512434255396.gif (3.51 MB, 308x249, dreams-vs-reality-o.gif)

I have 4 exams in 2 days, followed by 2 more days with an exam each. Jesus give me strength. Someone light a candle for me, I've run out.

No. 214533

So there's this guy I've become accquainted with. We don't hang out much, and even though he has my number we dont't text eachoter much either. We've had a few encounters over the last few months since we met, but never really have more than surface level conversations. However recently he's been a liitle more talkative lately.

Anyways I recently made a nice gesture for him and he thanked me with a red heart emoji. Then a day later out of nowehere they said "they're glad there are people like me in the world." It was strange because I'm not sure if that was an off hand remark or a late follow up to the my previous gesture. Also I feel like that's a pretty profound statement to make with how little we've actually interacted. Not really sure if I'm looking too much into things.

No. 214539

>be a biological girl sick of gender-biased discussions, in any format
>must be a robot

No. 214540

Good luck anon! You can do it!

No. 214555

File: 1512475643153.jpg (31.24 KB, 575x448, 85739473.jpg)

Fucking hell, and I thought that I had a lot to do. I have a final for every class except my Graphic Design business class (she wasn't there half of the time because of a sick family member) and then I have to redo all of my GDBC work because I lost my files due to getting locked out of my laptop.

Life Sucks (c).

No. 214570

I'll light a candle for you, anon x Nah but seriously, good luck and get plenty of sleep/water. I appreciate the Father Ted gif, too.

No. 214638

>move out of abusive home
>talk about living with friend
>"um anon I want to get a job first before I move in with you"
>"oh no anon its okay I don't mind until you get a job"
>live with them for a bit
>start getting treated badly, roommate starts taking my car without my permission, going places without me in my car, telling me about plans and just taking my car and going without me
>roommate constantly makes jabs at me and belittles me
>roommate keeps pushing me to get a job which I'm already very stressed because I've been putting myself through hell to get one and it's hard because I haven't been able to print out a resume and using online sites to apply
>get some interviews
>leave town for 2 weeks
>vent to roommates because they told me it's good to express my problems
>get ghosted in return
>makes me go a little crazy
>come back
>everything is fine and dandy, roommates being a little distant but I don't mind
>ask roommates mom if he's at her house (I didn't think it would be weird or anything since he usually is and I was just wondering)
>roommate goes off on me, tells me how I'm being manipulative and how I lie about everything (but can't tell me what I lied about outside of accusing me of lying about an interview I had before he kicked me out) tell me all kinds of bullshit but can't give me examples of when they happened
>write me off as some crazy insane stalker because my roommates are usually at one of my roommates moms house and that's where I usually go to find them or if I just want to use wifi to find jobs since there's no wifi at the apartment and it's pretty empty
>get kicked out despite investing effort and money and time on the apartment and trying to help and care for my roommates and their family
>get told "it doesn't look like I'm putting effort into getting a job" despite just getting back into town and having interviews
>everyone is ghosting me and talking shit and I don't even know what I did wrong
>get kicked out, ended up having to sleep in my car and got followed by some weirdo taking pictures of my car so I leave and park in front of my roommates moms house because I kinda feel safe there
>be sick for weeks
>vomit all over the front yard, was trying to call roommates mom to ask if I can come inside because I didn't want to vomit on the yard and get some water or cold meds but she was of course ghosting me

am I doing something wrong anons? I was trying my best I don't understand what I did wrong, what do I do to fix this?

No. 214644

English is not my first language anon, but what do you mean by ghosting?

Your roommate was verbally abusive towards you and you didn’t do anything wrong. You really need to get a future roommate that won’t abuse you. Just forget about that cunt and move on.

No. 214645

ghosting means to completely remove someone from your life, don't call, don't text, don't answer, etc

and I'll try, it's kinda hard since he was a childhood friend, but thank you anon

No. 214659

Fuck that entire group of friends. Go solo, work hard to get back on your feet, make some new less-shitty friends. I’m sorry you’re having such a hard time anon, I hope it gets better soon!

No. 214684

i'm so sorry this is happening to you anon, it sounds horrible. and fuck those guys jesus christ, their conscience better weigh heavily on them.
it might not seem like it now but you will come out of this stronger and in a few years you'll look back from a much better place. do you have anyone else in your life looking out for you irl?

No. 214685

No, I have no one or nothing, I don't know what to do and no one will hear my side of the story

No. 214792

Does anyone know of a feminism test that doesn't just end up being a racism and sexuality quiz? Like what does your view on gay male marriage have to do with feminism? I just want to have a clearer view on what type of feminism I am, not if I'm racist, homophobic or inclusive ugh. I cant find a good test that doesn't just end up with "yeah ok thats your view on women but MORE IMPORTANTLY WHAT DO YOU THINK OF POCS STATUS IN OUR SOCIETY".

No. 214795

Welcome to third wave feminism anon. It doesn’t count unless it’s ~intersectional~

No. 214797

my life is a dead end and i'm so lonely

No. 214816

Get a job and make enough money to move away, then fucking ignore all of them when and if they try to contact you. File a restraining order if you have to. Fuck them, they aren't worth your time or your life.

No. 214891

Gotta vent a little bit.
I've made a Friend (I guess? Idk we hang out once on a while during uni) who is definetly different from many of my other friends.
She has very leftish views (I guess that's how you say it?) Which I'm totally fine with I would consider myself liberal as well but not as much as her.
Anyways as I said I'm totally cool with that, and I actually like it when me and my friends have different views so we can have a nice, respectful discussion. I also like to talk about other ideas in discussions even tho they might not be my standpoint on things just to make it more interesting you know.

I feel like between friends it is important that you won't make the other person feel like garbage (if they have extreme views yeah whatever but obviously I wouldn't hang out with them in the first place).
Anyways we talked about stuff.
And there was a moment when we did not agree. But instead of trying to at least tell me why my views are "wrong" in a sense she just gave me this look. There was a really weird vibe around her. Like I could feel that she thought I was garbage (have seen this look before and after that she told me that someones opinion was plain stupid etc.)
And that still pisses me of.
I'm trying to be open and even tho I might not agree with her I still treated her with respect. So her giving me this look was just too much.
Anyways I don't really want to hang out with her right now because of that. Idk maybe I read too much into it. I don't really know her anyways.
But knowing that she won't take other peoples opinion because apparently hers is the only one is an attitude I really don't like.
Maybe I'll forget about it next week who knows.

No. 214898

>She has very leftish views (I guess that's how you say it?)
Unironic communist sort of left or SJW type? I've dealt with a lot of the former especially and I'm convinced they have the same thought process as a cult member. Talk a lot about how they want a violent revolution but cry from the recoil when they fire a rifle.

No. 214935

More like SJW but not like the typical type that you'll find on the internet. A little bit more laid back.
And yeah you're right. Made that experience too but I knew after a few seconds when to pull back sonce they were really aggressive about their views.
So she's less aggressive but once a discussion starts she get's very passionatet about things. Thing is you can talk about normal stuff too.
While most SJW I've met start the Conversation with their beliefs right away.

No. 214938

I hate my relationship.
Or…i hate how sad it makes me
You would think that I should just break up with the person but it's been like that with every person I have dated.
I'm incredibly jealous about his past. His recent ex looked like me and had similar intrests. I feel like utter shit. Not to mention he lies to me to not make me upset, It makes things even worse lmao. I feel like I'm dating a cheater without the cheating bit
I've been going to a therapist but nothing is helping. How much do I have to wait? I've been going to them for 5 weeks.
I can't focus on my studies. Can't focus on anything.
I just want my mind to be clear for one day…please..

No. 214940

>So she's less aggressive but once a discussion starts she get's very passionatet about things. Thing is you can talk about normal stuff too.
I've noticed a lot of people take debates on their ideas as attacks on who they are. Like if you don't agree with someones conclusions about the world when they reached it through their own experiences, you're apparently denying their experiences or some nonsense like that.

Honestly I don't really get this new trend of refusing to talk about sensitive topics because people can't handle conflict, I'd rather just let the bridge burn than self censor because the person wants to spew their shit unopposed. If they're going to be insulting over this, does the relationship really have any depth to it anyways?

>How much do I have to wait
It's not like you go to the therapist x many times and suddenly you figure out all of your stuff, they're a tool to figure it out instead. You clearly have an insecurity problem, and I noticed you never really fleshed that out. For instance, why does it bother you that his ex had similar interests?

No. 214943

I know it's going to sound pathetic but I guess it's because I thought I was a special snowflake lmao obviously not one in a kind but I thought I wasn't like the "average girl" well..turns out his ex wasn't either and it makes me feel like crap. yes I know it's pathetic

No. 214945

>yes I know it's pathetic
You're acknowledging the problem which is something in and of itself. I mean I have a lot of uncommon traits, and even then there are probably some people who are like 98% similar to me. It's just the way the world works. I think that's something to pursue next time you visit the therapist though for whatever its worth, why it's so important that you feel unique.

No. 214958

File: 1512641707595.png (102.55 KB, 500x339, hmph.png)

I hate my dumb birthday. All I ever do is reply to texts from people who I didn't text on their birthdays and feel bad. I don't even remember what month most of them were born in… How do they remember mine? Perverts.

No. 214961

It's my birthday too. 3 people remembered.

No. 214964

It just means he likes the type of person you are. It shows consistency in his preferences and indicates he's attracted to your personality. They aren't together and you are, so you're the "better" one, in comparison.

No. 214969

happy birthday to us~ ♡♐

No. 214976

"omg i hate drama like all these bitches fuckin starting drama all the time like dont u have something better 2 do w/ur life lmao"

>constantly perpetuates drama

>reposts drama from friends to extend it
>reposts drama to make it about them
>will start shit with people just so they will complain and start drama


No. 214978



No. 214988

i hate these types. and then people always get mad at -you- for cutting them out of your life, like wtf?

No. 214989

File: 1512668025467.gif (447.56 KB, 450x338, 27474.gif)

I traced a Sailor Moon image. Except that I didn't because I never finished it. I'm so bad at art that I can't even trace. My love of drawing comes and goes because I can never improve.

No. 214990

Oh and some background info: I don't normally trace images because of a moral code. I was practicing on drawing lines. I stopped posting my pics on social media months ago.

No. 214996

I've been in love with a pedophile for the past 7 years. My infatuation for him never died as much as I wish it did. For some backstory, he's been grooming me since I was 12 and up to the late age of 16. I know it's very disgustingly wrong, but I can't help feel like I belong to him even after all these years. I feel taken advantage of and I bottle all these emotions up. I wish I would've said something. That's all I have to write I guess.

No. 214998

This week somebody committed an arson attack at my riding stables. 15 horses perished in the fire. I've been completely heartbroken about it, but kept it to myself because it's not in my nature to share about my life much. I finally confided in a friend about what has happened, and the first thing he said to me was "How can you be upset if you're not a vegetarian". I can't believe how much that hurt me on top of what I already felt.

No. 215005

I was supposed to go to an interview today but as I woke up I just got so much anxiety and felt like vomiting so I didn't go. I feel like a piece of shit.
I know I should've sucked it up and been a fucking adult because just saying I had anxiety feels like I'm trying to excuse myself. I'm trying so hard to not let myself feel like a victim but at the same time there's a relief that I didn't waste time and money to just get denied.

Holy shit I'm so sorry that happened. Is there an investigation going to catch the asshole that did that? Some people just don't care about animals at all and act like anyone that does is being overdramatic or unreasonable. There're a lot of terrible people in this world.

No. 215019


that's really heartbreaking to hear wtf? also, your friend sounds like an autist if they can't understand companionship with animals. i grew up with horses and they're so much part of your life. it does hurt when they die, it's also happy when they give birth too. it's not exactly like family, or a family pet, but especially if it's a horse you're close to it can be close!

i hope you go to the police and find out who did it.

No. 215037

Thank you both, it's been a very tough week and while my own horse was okay, several of my friends lost theirs and they've been grieving strongly. An investigation is taking place although no leads yet, though I've heard a riders ex-boyfriend is now a suspect and if he is the one accountable acting out of some bitter revenge, I can't imagine how that rider will feel.

It has been comforting to see our local community pull together this week though - thousands have donated money for vet bills and resources for the surviving horses. But this incident has been a painful reminder that evil people can be anywhere.

No. 215044

Reconsider your friendship. Would he have said the same thing if a friend's dog? The logic is insane, is he one of those crazy vegan types?

No. 215056

Not vegan, but he is vegetarian. What was so shocking about his reaction was that he has been a vegetarian for about a year now but has never commented on my diet or pushed his lifestyle before. And I wouldn't mind if he felt strongly enough about it to talk to me about a vegetarian diet but fucking hell that was not the right time. Now I question how little he thinks of me…perhaps you're right and I should take a better look at our friendship.

No. 215061

I really hate when people talk to me personally about their problems. I usually don't have any friends so it's not an issue but recently I've been in this group and have had people messaging me about feeling suicidal/anxious/depressed and I can't empathize or sympathize at all. I just feel inwardly pissed off and make some generic comforting attempt while wishing they'd speak to someone else who can deal with it better. My whole life I've never been able to relate or empathize with others on a personal level, I have no clue how to respond to any sort of emotional shit and just feel annoyed when people burden me with it. It's not a problem on public anonymous sites, for instance in this thread I can feel sorry for a lot of the anons in shitty situations but when it's being said to me specifically that's when I can't feel anything.

I'm aware that it's awful and I want to change but I have no idea how to and it just makes me want to break off contact with people all together. But then when I go a long period of time without speaking to anyone I start to fantasize about having friends, then I make them and realize how much I hate it and the cycle starts again. Sorry for rambling and probably sounding really edgy but it's been bothering me as of late.

No. 215065

I wish my sister would stop bringing up anti-vaccine discussions. All she does is talk about posts other housewives make on facebook about how bad vaccines are and that they harm their children.
She was freaking out because a kid got sick from a vaccine for whatever it was they caught and I tried explaining to her that vaccines ARE weak strains of viruses used to build resistance. Why complain about something if you don't even know how it works?

No. 215081

File: 1512691514795.png (40.45 KB, 490x452, 1499453012322.png)

I keep waking up screaming lately and sometimes I don't even wake up until mom gets annoyed and wakes me up. Why the fuck did I have to be this fucked mentally?

No. 215084

It's because you feel like if someone is talking to you about a problem specifically they're looking for either a solution or comfort, which you don't feel obliged to provide. This is why I find it really weird to talk about personal shit to someone you aren't already pretty close with, because then it's just kind of a burden and makes people like you less.

No. 215086

It’s why most people think anti-vaxxers are mental. I had to leave a vegan parenting group because someone brought up vaccines and someone legit said you can prevent infectious fatal diseases by a balanced alkaline diet. Like fuck off, seriously?

No. 215092

Yeah my friend is vegetarian and she would never say something like that. I probably eat more meat than I should, but it's not like anyone worth considering delights in needless cruelty. Maybe he's just hanging out with some cult tier people, but that behavior has no room to fly.

No. 215134

Ooooooh, I want to SCREAM NOW!!!

This never happens to me when I'm doing other things but every single time I think things have calmed down enough at night for me to masturbate and have a bit of sexy fun, either my mother or my brother or my aunt or even my goddamn cat open the door and nearly give me a heart attack!

It's so hard to continue after that, especially with my mom, the old hag just doesn't sleep at night and walks around like a ghost, sometimes my little creep brother also stays up and feels the need to sneak up behind me to "prank" me. Sometimes it's just the cat, but it still scares me to death.

Nobody knows how to knock, nobody knows what privacy is, I'm already as paranoid as it is when I'm doing it and need a few hours to get into the mood and really get into it but it totally kills it for me when they barge in unexpectedly and start bothering me with their chit chat just when I was getting to the good part, then I end up being turned off, angry and even more sexually frustrated than before.

No. 215138

do you not have a lock anon? I live with a bunch of roommates, usually I just masturbate while in the bathroom since it's the only place to get privacy

No. 215141

God I want a girlfriend. I've never tried to flirt with a girl though, so I have no clue how to get one. The idea of one makes me so happy, but I feel like I would be a weirdo creep for trying to hit on girls.

No. 215159

The society I live in frustrates me to the point that I can’t take it and want to live in a fantasy creation. I hate politics, politicians, and people who get drawn in by the most minor political issues ever dressed up as today’s Big Deal.

The worst bit is is that not long ago I was one of the people I hate so much and that hatred is now pushing me into being someone completely different, but my past is an endless source of embarrassment to me.

No. 215160

God I know this feeling. They don't usually enter but every time I start, even if we haven't spoken in a few hours, as SOON as I start my mom will call me from across the house to look at some cat pictures she saw on facebook and she'll get pissy if I don't come. And she wonders why I'm irritated. What are you even supposed to say? "Sorry mom I was trying to get off"? I usually try to wait until everyone is asleep but sometimes you want to do it at other times than the dead of night you know?

No. 215167

same anon, I feel like a right creep by just finding a girl irl attractive, never mind talking to one in a romantic manner. I should just join uni's lgbt group or something and get on with it but being alone in social situations isn't something I do well.

No. 215169

My father has been living in another country for 5 years now. He left when my mother died due to a terminal disease, so I don't have any family left here (apart from my boyfriend's family, which they're super nice to me).
This Christmas he's coming home. He's been in my city before, maybe three or four times but not in Christmas.
What pisses me off is that he's always complaining about leaving (how the other country is shit compared to ours, how he can't stand his actual wife, how he wants to come here again), when the truth is that he left because he wanted to, and he already knew his wife is a crazy bitch (they argued all the time while he was here, nothing new).
Also, he's the type of man who thinks that people should be there for him now because he's coming here. As if he had to leave for obligation or something like that. It's my father and I love him, he's always telling that our plans this Christmas shouldn't be conditionated by him but when I tell him that maybe I'll be seeing my bf's family some days, he's acting all pasive-agressive about it.
He's all obsessed about what people think about him as a father and I totally understand it, I know he acted like a shitty father and I know that he should've stayed with me at least because even if my parents were divorced at that time, he was the only left for me. As I said, it's his hypocrisy what makes me so freaking mad.

No. 215174

I was told the relationship is mine to “ruin.” With that statement, my partner is shifting all the blame on me and acting like he is 100% blame-free since he apparently realizes his mistakes in physically, emotionally and verbally abusing me in the past. Just two days ago, he verbally abused me for merely expressing my emotions. His justification was that he was “mad” and “didn’t mean it.” I have constantly been feeling suicidal for the past couple of days due to how bad our fights have gotten. He said that my suicidal feelings are due to my traumatic past, further shifting any blame away from our relationship and from himself. I knew that what he said was just pure bullshit to avoid any accountability on his end but I accepted it anyways because there is no point in arguing back or speaking up anymore. In this relationship, all I can become is a doormat.

No. 215175

Unfortunately I don't have a lock and people would ask questions if I did have one. I do masturbate with the shower if it gets too bad, but it's just so much more fun and relaxing when you're dry and on a warm, comfy chair in front of the computer with lots of time to do it.

ikr? It's so annoying. I just want to flick my bean in peace, it sucks that I never had a bf but they at least shouldn't take THAT away from me because my libido is killing me.

No. 215178

Needless to say, this is totally not normal and you should immediately get help anon. This relationship is really toxic and you really will kill yourself if you continue with how things are. Dump the jackass asap, he isn't worth shit.

No. 215181

I'm 27yo living with my parents and this happens all the time. There are periods when I'm extremely horny and have the need to masturbate at least 5 - 6 times per day but there's always someone that has to do disturb me during that time.

There are times when I manage to masturbate and finish off just before someone comes in.

> Anon, are you ok? You're really red in the face, let me check if your temperature is high?

No. 215182

Just say you're masturbating. You only have to say it once and they'll start knocking from them on
Don't be so catholic about it

No. 215183

I know deep down that I need to leave him if I want to save myself. At the same time, I have struggled with depression my entire life and I think being in this relationship makes me feel like I am going to fulfill a death wish. I have already done some impulsive things that can be considered suicidal because of this relationship. For some fucked up reason, the idea of suicide comes off as romantic to me whenever I am seriously depressed because of how much I hate myself. I have been seeing a therapist for about two months who absolutely wants me to cease contact with him and I also went to a domestic abuse center when the suicidal thoughts were becoming overwhelming but I am still drawn to the idea of my self-destruction. I haven’t really told my therapist yet about these strong self-destructive, suicidal thoughts since they have only started to get worse lately so I will have to bring that up with her soon. I’m just honestly seriously feeling incredibly fucked up. It doesn’t help that he makes threats toward me whenever I have expressed wanting to leave which fucks with my anxiety. I guess more than anything, this is now becoming a battle between self-preservation and the my desire to self-destruct.

No. 215227

If there's one impulsive thing that you should do, it's that you should just leave, don't even say anything, don't even announce it beforehand or say goodbye or anything, I know it's easier said than done but it should be your number one priority because you will definitely be happier if you do. Please also tell your therapist about everything in detail, they are trained to deal with things like this, if you have friends or anyone else close to you then get them involved too.

No. 215390

I can't stop thinking about him even though he hasn't spoken to me in months. I can't stop looking over his social media. I can't stop looking at his ex's photos and feeling envious of her. I wish I'd stop but I can't. It's a compulsion that just won't quit. I wish he'd get out of my head. He clearly doesn't want me, I know he's not worthy of my devotion, I can't even say I like the real him, yet I still fantasize about him almost constantly. What's wrong with me? Someone please come over and knock some sense into me.

No. 215415

I’ve cut my mom (and consequently my stepdad and sister) out of my life because having/maintaining a relationship with them makes me mentally unwell. There’s still a small part of me that can’t decide whether to stop them meeting my (about-to-be-born) child. It feels like a really huge and obviously irreversible decision to make - she’ll never be able to get back the time she misses with her grandchild after all - and I’m fucking stuck in limbo on what the best course of action is.

No. 215501

File: 1512859018462.gif (5.41 MB, 314x200, B832DCF5-F1F9-4A53-B0B3-484384…)

I had to help clean my brothers house so he, his pregnant partner and my niece don’t go homeless and have to pay thousands to the landlord.

I’ve never been so fucking angry, it was disgusting I honestly can’t understsbd how anyone can live the way they were, mouse shit and piss all in the pantry and just everywhere, rubbish, dirty clothes, incredibly stained carpets, rotting food etc

I hand washed ALL of their dishes because they had not a single clean one and even had dirty dishes stacked in the cupboards which had mouse shit all throughout.

He won’t ever be greatful for what my Mother and I have done for him, no one else in the family knows what’s happening, so he basically can’t be held to what’s happened and will continue to treat myself and our Mother like shit because he is lazy, childish and a waste of space.

No. 215505

My abusive relationship ended yesterday and I'm feeling such immense pain because of it, I don't know what to do.

No. 215507

I finally got rowers of my age in my club again. Unlike my previous cool crew, these chicks are bigoted traditionalistic pieces of shit. Xenophobic, homophobic, etc. I cannot stand such people. I blame their ilk for the civil wars which devastated my country and my adolescence.

I talked to our coach asking to separate us and I'm not rowing with them ever again, which I'm glad for. But I get to row with teenagers again.

They have dampened the shine of my rowing experience. My club was my place of refuge from the idiots that surround me. Now they have infiltrated my club and are a majority in my age group. I feel like an outcast again even though it was me who shunned them. It felt so good to belong.

No. 215509

File: 1512862461107.png (366.11 KB, 592x540, y5Jo1whd35oo6.png)

Have to visit a dentist soon. There's something with my tooth and I'm scared as fuck of dentists, because I feel this kind of pain very easly. Found a good one in my city I think, yet still I'm so damn nervous.

No. 215510

File: 1512863084486.gif (841 KB, 335x425, giphy.gif)

My bf cheated on me with a 'poly' girl who knew he was taken but didn't care so I snooped, found out who she was, met up with her and then fucked her silly. today she told me she dumped him and tried really hard to get into my pants again.
Call me an ugly prude again Owen you fat little bitch, see what happens next
Your mom'll be next

No. 215519

Whoah nibba

No. 215521

Yasss bitch slay

No. 215522

File: 1512867193063.png (116.31 KB, 320x286, 54647644756.png)

>yasss meme

No. 215524

File: 1512869161478.jpg (20.32 KB, 500x504, smirk.jpg)

owens mom owens mom owens mom owens mom owens mom owens mom owens mom owens mom

No. 215529

Eat a dick.

No. 215532

same. where are these people coming from? are they childs?

No. 215535

It's the kind of people who think this sort of vengeance is cool and not petty and immature. Like just move on with your life and forget about that asshole if he cheated on you.

No. 215537

I don't really get how people interpret this as anything other than kinda sad. I've never understood the appeal of using sexuality as a weapon.

No. 215540

My mom always hated my handwriting and said that I would write too fast, too sloppily, or at one point described my handwriting as looking "like a serial killer's"… but in college and beyond, people have commended me for having neat, legible handwriting that was also 'unique'.

It pisses me off that I went years thinking I had this shit handwriting because I was always being told this when, come to find out, it actually isn't.

No. 215543

How do you know when you've become that one art friend that's being taken advantage of?
In my group of artist friends I was usually the least skilled one, and I acknowledged such. The others were popular artists in the fandom we were in and I always came up short – just admiring from afar.
They would get their share of haters, criticisms, etc. While I remained completely unknown.
Now things are…different. The more I practice and look up to more skilled artists, the better I've been getting – while those other friends that were better than me have stagnated in skill because they don't want to leave their comfort zones and what they know. I've…actually surpassed them I believe, in terms of skill and execution. I went from the one in the group that had to beg to draw things for the others for just a little recognition to the one that gets requests almost daily from them.
But it's…bittersweet? I'm starting to become paranoid now. Afraid that they're only friends with me because they want me to draw things for them or they pair their OCs with mine so I could draw them together.
A couple reasons I've gotten paranoid is because of a few messages one of the ones in the group sent to me. Basically offhand comments that are a nudge to my shoulder about drawing something for them under the guise of a good idea for me to draw or just playful banter followed with 'XD' for effect.
"I wouldn't say no to more drawings of (OC name)"
"I'd really like yo see (OC name) in your style! I love your art!"
"When are you gonna draw (OC name) and (My OC name) together?"
I don't know what to do now. Am I just paranoid? I'm not even that good of an artist so I don't understand why it's happening.

No. 215544

>"like a serial killer's"
That legit sounds like something she made up because I never heard of that before.

No. 215561

iktf Anon, after I worked my ass off to become as good as I am now people use me mostly to milk free tutorials and information. Some people barely even compliment on my work and straight out demand me to share all my secrets. Bitch my secret is that I spent years worth of hard work to gain enough experience and I didn't do it so you could leech off my effort.

No. 215569

I wish I had a bf I could spend with lazying around, watching movies and doing stuff together. Instead he is too obsessed by his computer to do anything with me and I have to litteraly beg for anything. He can't even care that I'm sick like a dog this week end and try to somewhat take care of me.
Are all men like this? Is spending time together and enjoying each other's company without having to check the internet every five minutes too fucking much to ask?

No. 215572

jfc anon this gave me flashbacks to my grandma beating me in primary school because i had a messy handwriting. i wish i could give you a hug and i'm glad you have come to like yours!

No. 215573

I think it's because I have a lot of sharp lines in my handwriting? I don't know. She got really into handwriting analysis at one point and when comparing mine to the handwriting of whatever examples were in the book, she managed to get to that conclusion.


Thank you, Anon! Luckily she never beat me or anything for it… just a lot of scolding and weird insults.

No. 215579

No, not all men are like that. Ur bf sounds like a p.o.s, either confront him and tell him it needs to change because or get rid of him. U kinda actually need to pay attention to ur partner once in a while to make relationships work

No. 215581

Not to humblebrag but my boyfriend is the most caring and attentive person I’ve ever met. Definitely not all men, your boyfriend just sounds like a lazy prick who doesn’t really care all that much. Sorry anon.

No. 215582

I’d say it sounds like you are getting really good, and you should start seriously limiting the amount of art you make freely available to others (by drawing for them, with their OCs, etc). Don’t devalue your stuff by giving it to everyone that asks. Congrats anon, keep up the good work!

No. 215599

Right anon?
>tfw bf doesn't even have a computer and the worst thing he does is browse fb on his phone occasionally
Every night we watch a show together, snuggle, and talk. I can't imagine relationships where a partner won't talk to or care about the other because of a toy.

No. 215644

Oh my god I’m so fucking annoyed with my roommate. My boyfriend and I moved in with him a little over a year ago, he was my boyfriends casual friend in high school. Things aren’t as bad as they have been with him in the past but I’m already stressed with the holiday season and don’t need to take care of a 23 year old man on top of everything else. He’s so messy. Hell leave (my) plates and dishes and pots out for at least 2 days before washing them. He’ll spill things that I have to spend 30 minutes scrubbing to get out then say he didn’t spill it. Hell invite his friends over while the house is messy, will make it messier with his guests, then won’t pick up once they leave. He’s SO loud, and so obnoxious. Hell play video games until 2 am in our living room and talk loud enough for me to hear him as if he’s in the same room as me. You can’t have a conversation with him without him acting like he knows more about the topic, and he’ll interrupt you to correct you even though he doesn’t know shit about the topic. I have to ask him about once or twice a week to do something like wipe the counter after cooking or taking out his recycling. Every time I ask him to clean he does (a half assed job), but not after saying “oh yeah I was going to clean this yesterday but I got called into work/got picked up/went out”. Then why was it sitting like this for 4 days before I asked, and why do I have to ask you to clean your own messes in the first place. I’ve tried inviting mutual friends over after he trashed part of the house to try to shame him to clean but he doesnt feel shame apparently. Its easier to just clean up after him at this point otherwise my mental health will suffer because messes stress me out significantly. Easier to do it myself than ask him every single day. Today what has me pressed is the fact he built a new computer 2 weeks ago and all the boxes are just sitting in the dining room. I told him I’ll buy us some more garbage bags tomorrow so he can bag it up and he said he’s not throwing them away, he doesn’t know where he’s putting them yet. So what the fuck am I supposed to do, clean and put up Christmas decorations around 6 opened up and disheveled amazon boxes? What the fuck dude. I can usually tolerate him and I can’t wait until we can get a new roommate but it’s just too much to deal with right now.

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