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lower your standards when it comes to looks
mediocre/ugly looking guys have some of the greatest personalities and they'll be all over you if you're "not in their league"
start thinking along the lines of
-is this guy a good provider if I ever have kids?
-is this guy emotionally mature enough for me?
-is this guy likely to cheat?
-can I envision this guy being a father
pretty boys are just not worth it anon too much drama and effort
I don't really have high standards for looks, I'm not into prettyboys or the usual 'attractive' guy, tbh faces don't matter to me as long as a guy is clean shaven, doesn't smell bad and his clothes are clean and not wrinked or worn out. It's just, every guy I talk to is so damaged
like wtf. Case in point- I was talking to a really well rounded older guy I met in a coffee shop, but last week out of nowhere he asked if I was a virgin (I'm 26, wtf?) and when I ofc said no, he went all crazy on me suddenly and started asking how many guys I've been with, how big they were, the last time I had sex, how many times in my life I've had sex…. like what the fuck is that? We were talking about goddamn hiking
and he came out of nowhere with it. I just…. whaaaat the fuck man. >>3497
I haven't tried any free ones, and I just had to have surgery so my budget is pretty tight right now for paid ones, but no I teally haven't. I always thought dating sites were aimed at people looking for more long term stuff/marriage, and honestly I just want something simple right now.
i misgender my shitty ex bc i know it'll cause her grief and i doubt she's actually trans or w/e she claims to be. one of my friends who's now closer to her is telling me to stop being a piece of shit but geez my ex jumped on that transtrender shit fast that i don't buy it at all.
i'm still filled with hatred and blame her for me becoming so emotionally fucked up even tho our break up was mutual and she was still v nice to me when we met up for our mutual friends bc i'm a fuckin piece of shit who cant take responsibility for my own shitty emotions>>3511
you can try tinder? i have it for shits and giggles but ive seen some people meet and date over it.
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I quit my job at McDs two weeks ago because it was brutal as fuck but I instantly regretted it because now I'm back home being a NEET with no money
>Its pathetic but debating going back to see if I can reapply/get my job back
>it paid decently,only had to work 3 days out of the week and was close to my house which was a plus since i dont have a car
I'm hoping I can get at least a seasonal retail job before the year ends
Can you explain why they dont have breakfast bowls in every mcdonalds yet? I can only get them back home.
Also, good luck with the job hunt. You definitely can get one in retail with the holidays coming up they always need hires
i used to treat my best friend like dirt because she was really angry and bitchy all the time (she had home stuff going on though) and never really stopped, i still ignore her sometimes and resent hanging out with her. but the minute she gets new friends or doesn't have time to hang out with me i get so annoyed, i am everything i hate in a friend.
also i'm mega entitled, like i really wanted a career in academia so i've worked myself up to an ma course at my dream uni but now that i'm here i'm so unhappy. wish i could just enjoy it and make the most of it but instead i'm procrastinating on a confession thread and i haven't left the flat in three days.>>112879
good luck anon, keep your feet moving
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when i'm stressed i make these weird 'collages' where I pretend i have a certain challenge to spend XX amount of money on clothes at a certain shop and XX amount of money to spend on makeup/skincare. Then I go through seasons/weeks, like "Spring/Week 1" and think of different outfits/makeup that I would buy. It's more of just a fancy way of sorting out things I want to buy and checking out new stores/whats new in stock I guess.
It's so tedious and stupid, but damn its relaxing.
Pic related, apparently I added a category of Fukuoka omiyage (Japan fag here) because this was right before my trip down there.
just copying and pasting onto paint…super basic!>>112970
The clothes and accessories are from a shop I saw advertised at my favorite shopping mall…Make up is 2 blush colors, a great powder by canmake, a lipgloss, and a lip product that prevents your regular lipstick from smearing or coming off! Really recommend all of the makeup items as I've collected them all now :) Stuff on the bottom is all ideas for snacks/souvenirs from Hakata to give to friends/bf/coworker/etc.
This makes me a horrible person.
I had a "best friend"… we were friends for a very long time. From second grade all the way through her first year of college. She was always super rude to me and to everyone else. Could not go a sentence without swearing, calling someone a name, or ranting. Did not handle her problems like an adult and would simply ignore people until she needed them. We hung out a lot during her first year of college because our schedules matched nicely since I was still in high school, senior year, and therefore had a shit load of time. I began to resent her shitty attitude, though.
We hung out enough that she wanted me to meet her shitty, cheating boyfriend again after 3 years because we didn't get along the first time due to him hating every single one of her friends for no reason. We planned a night to get together. We all (me, friend, boyfriend, boyfriend's buddy) went out to a lounge and her boyfriend and I were getting along, surprisingly enough. We were having a good time. Drinking, joking around, smoking. My friend has a tendency to get moody when the attention is not entirely on her, so I was sitting next to her and snuggled up to her but she was still moody because her boyfriend wouldn't climb all over her in front of everyone. Then, girl boyfriend cheated on her with comes into the lounge. My friend storms out and we leave her be. She eventually comes back. We eventually leave, go back to her house. She goes to bed, her boyfriend and drunk me stay up to watch a movie. I'm on a bed, he's on the floor. We flirt a lot. Exchange numbers.
We begin texting, then hanging out without her. Never hooked up, though. Kissed. Get a call one day from his other girlfriend. He's living with another girl and paying all her bills. Friend is upset, swears him off, other girl didn't out me to friend. I have anxiety the whole time. Cheater sends obsessive emails every 10 minutes to friend until she finally relents and begins answering him after two weeks. I'm (possibly) assaulted around this time. She's there for me, I feel like this is my karma. Life happens, I move on. She becomes best friends with Cheater's side girl, thinking she'll win boyfriend back once their lease is up (he could've left at any time. his credit is already ruined.). She won't listen to reason. Everyone is at fault but the Cheater. One day, get invited to go to the lounge again with friend and cheater by cheater. All I answer is "sure". Suddenly, next day, getting asked by friend when I was going to tell her I was hanging out with Cheater without her after she posts cryptic Snapchats about me. Tell her I thought we were all going out. She tells me to go have fun.
Then she showed up at my house the next day. Told me side girl told her I had "a thing" with Cheater and that's why she freaked out. I deny hard. She says she's going to delete Snapchat and to text her because she's tired of drama. She ultimately took side girl's side and never bothered to formally end our friendship, after treating me like shit in favor of side girl for a week prior to this. I blocked her on social media when I got the courage to re-open everything after closing it due to the assault.
Now… I'm in community college for two semesters until I transfer. Still don't have a close friend and don't really go out. I did it to myself and I probably don't deserve to have friends. I want to believe I'm a better person. It wasn't worth it. I'm not sad that I got caught. I felt better that I didn't have to lie anymore. I'm upset that I could be that kind of vile person at all.
I will never do that to someone again.
I really needed that off my chest.
I wouldn't say the ex-friend is necessarily a horrible person. I believe she just has poor judgment and social skills. She does have other problems to work through too and even though she is
an adult now, years of living a certain way can have an effect on someone.
Thanks for actually reading through my thread. I wasn't sure if I'd get any replies.
So that's a hard question. My boyfriend and I both use and I fear for his OD more than mine, and we have both had to revive each other before. Oddly, we revived each other with suboxone somehow and haven't had it yet to the point of needing to call someone. We both worry about that and try our best to practice safe usage and do test shots. But of course anything can happen. We also have a dealer we trust who has been consistent with his product since day 1.
The day I had to revive him was the scariest of my life. Thinking about that it the biggest motivating factor to get clean. We are down to using about once a week.
If I OD, sadly I think, well, at least is bullshit and pain is over. But of he ODs…I mean he and my family are my primary motivators to get clean. I couldn't live with that. I'd rather die myself.
We also stay on suboxone on our off days, so I hope it helps keep our tolerance up.
It's always scary, obviously I would prefer it not to happen at all. But there have been a lot of moments for each of us.
I just wanted to ad that I am taking suboxone and hope to get clean for the holidays. Every week is always "the last" but it needs to happen now. I really hope we can do it and think we can.
TBH it makes more sense to me that we have gradually lessened our use instead of abruptly stopping with rehab.
They sound like some fairweather friends to me anon. I work with drug users and this is unfortunately really common. You came to them as a friend, said 'hey I have this really hard thing to deal with but I am also doing this to change it' and they fucked off.
the only thing that changed was they knew heroin was involved and they left.
Good luck with rehab, when it seems unbearable remind yourself of all the reasons you went in the first place.
Thanks anon :) It's nice to get a genuine response on here regarding all this bulkshit I/we have been going to. I feel very lucky to have a partner during all of this and not be alone, because that would make it so much worse.
We also just found out today that one of our old dealers that always fronted us is back, so there's that. Obviously deleting/blocking all numbers would go a long way but that is just such a huge step that I'm just not ready for right now. Idk if I could ever do that TBH. Even after I quit for good, you just never know if some serious shit is going to go down and you might just need to relapse for a day, you know?
But honestly, like I said earlier, just going from using every day and constantly trying to find ways/money to use as much as possible, to going down to using once or twice a week is such a huge step. Only someone that's really been there can realize how something that seemingly sounds so small/still bad took a lot to get to. So the next step is definitely stopping, and we both want to. I say this every week, but I genuinely feel that this will be it for a while, because I would like to not
have marks on my arms for Thanakgiving/the holidays. So here we go!
Well these are 2nd gen American guys of Indian descent, and as far as I can tell, asking women out is not the easiest thing for them. Same story as Asian guys in general.
Goddammit I just want a hot white guy to ask me out for once.
Ummm, are you a chick tho or some mysogynisyic robot?
But ya, if the answer is (1), I know what you mean. I fucking hate women, but alas, I am one. Why can't everyone just chill the fuck out and be cool? I don't think I've had a single female friend that can keep up in that sense. They all think they're ~super cool~ and ~different~ lol ~girl gamerz~ or whatever. Especially the ones that are so chill about causal sex but end up being the most fucking emo ppl ever.
My last "BFF" that I recently lost (as a friend, not death) because she's a fucking emotional train wreck with genital herpes to match was like that. Fucking bitch.
But of course I can't just chill with guys like I used to. I'm in a serious, long-term relationship now and that shit is weird. I'm in my late twenties now and ppl are either married or coupled up, and that shit is just weird and inappropriate now, unfortunately :/
But hey, my boyfriend is the best friend I could ever have, on top of everything else, so it's worth the trade-off. Just a weird social rule I've noticed since college.
These are all from actual Indians though, not Americans who have Indian parents/families. Who are completely different.
God it's hilarious when a dude from that type of society discovers the internet and thinks it's his personal harem of easy western women who will bend over for his stankass tiny dick.
Yes, this exactly. Aw fuck, now I want to masturbate. Hitachi….
Too bad it takes me fucking forever to cum even with the hitachi. Plus I'm high, so add another 45 minutes to that. Damn you -_-
Makes sense. Do you have a gf that you're trying to better understand, or are you younger/in late HS maybe college & single and trying to improve your game? Lol. What threads here seem to tell you the most about how girls think?>>115281
Yes, this. Exactly. Well said OP. Boy above, take notes!
Lmao. Hey, at least he admits it and hasn't been sperging up the place as far as we know.
Samefag as above, I'm curious exactly why he's doing it if he has a gf or is young and needs help in that department. That'll best determine the autism quota here.
Also curious if you consider yourself attractive, male OP?
Sage of samefag and getting OT here.
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#1 Maybe you understand it, or think you do, but unfortunately most men don't.
#2 Maybe I wasn't totally clear, but still, just curious why you need such a feminine
change of pace like this. Because it's such a niche site that is mainly dedicated to nitpicking and discussing other chicks that barely qualify as d-list wannabes. So do you follow some of these girls, or do you come here for the /b/ and /g/ content? And either way, these boards aren't nearly as fast as 4chan.
And agreed, so don't tell them! Lol
#3 lmao, humble brah much? Not even, that was aggressive. Don't worry, I'm not asking you to post a pic. Typical /fit/izen response though, lolz.
#4 You do dope? Speaking of which, time for my cotton shot! First wash, too! Yay! Too bad my rigs are old as shit. ( ° ʖ °)>>115288
Ehhh…idk, anon. See >>115289 below.
Aight idk if this is just me and OP male, but it looks like someone else joined in above me. It's good we are sage-ing, but we should seriously wrap this up soon before we totally derail this thread lol. But OP Male, respond to my last questions above first! Lol because I really am curious abt why you come here. Thanks!
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Aight, that makes sense. I am satisfied with that answer.
Okay, last question. I must know what you jerked off to. I mean, doesn't need to be exact content, but I am just miffed what a guy would jack off to on this site. Most of the lolcows on here are fucking train wrecks, with the few attractive exceptions, but still, they look mad young so ew.
I'm not gunna sage this one, because it looks like we have come to a confession after all, namely, what is it is you're jerking off to on here.
( °( ° ʖ( ° ʖ °)ʖ °) °)
Um, oh. Idk make anon, I don't think I like you as much anymore, lol. A lot of girls on this site think that this is pretty much a haven for us girls, and most certainly aren't writing hoping some "creep" is reading, sorry to burst your bubble…ugh. That's exactly the type of thinking we girls hate. Not to sound like an SJW, but even us reasonable girls hate how guys seem to have that sort of mentality about everything we do. It's fucking disgusting and is almost certainly a factor in extreme cases where men who rape think the girl was "asking for it." I'm not going to act like some SJW an accuse you of being like that because it's totally a false equivalency and we are just on a stupid image board, but come on.
Girls here don't even like it when guys post in /g/, and I'm not sure if it actually is, but I'm willing to guess a lot think it's actually a bannable offense. I mean, I'm not sure if you're the guy who posted on the "Friend Finder General" thread, but if you are, you got that longtime /g/ thread moved to /b/ just because of that reply :/
And to add, anyone who really did want to post for some creep
would just go to /b/ or /r9k/ on 4chan and scream about how they are a girl, lol.
It is so self centered to read something here and this k "oh man, I'm reading between the lines, and this post is for me".
Like, sometimes people post their true thoughts on an anonymous board. Why would they be writing it with the subliminal need to arouse our dear anon, when there are things like tinder? Or fetlife? Or those dirty pen pal subreddits?
It's almost funny, but more creepy TBH :( I don't like it, and I've posted a lot about my vagina today, lol. I mean fuck "safe space" bullshit. Like I said, I'm not a fucking SJW and this is the internet, the farthest from whatever the fuck a "safe space" possible, but this site was made for girls. I know the previous admin was a guy, but from what I heard about him/saw, he seemed very professional and stayed out of a lot of the girlies shit on here, besides providing ample
milk outing self posters! Lol. Plus, I got the impression he wasn't in to running this site at all
, especially towards the end there. Hence why he gave this site away. Lastly, AFAIK, he tried to hide the fact he was a man for as long as possible for this exact type of reason. People were uncomfortable with a guy running a site like this. Until, of course it was finally revealed, and by then everyone knew what a badass and professional admin he had been, so it didn't rly matter. >>115337
Hmmm, a lot of my above reply was meant for you, too. But y thoughts exactly. It's fucking creepy. The one time I'm ready to give some guy on here who is proudly proclaiming he is male a free pass, and there he goes saying the most stereotypic shit here that most of us fear.
Like thank GAWD I've never posted a pic of myself on any of the friend finder type threads or if there's some like, idk, "show your mug" thread, because this creep could be fucking beating off to it. AGAIN, obviously no site is totally safe, but it took me a while to find this site. I feel like it's a pretty small community AFAIK. The traffic is nothing like 4chan. Idk how many unique users there are, but who would even want to come
to a site like this unless you are a very specific
type of girl.
Honestly, with all that's been said by male anon, you seem like the typical creepy robot. You're probably 17 because all of your responses seem pretty immature. You probably don't even know what this site is really about and don't know who anyone on /pt/ or /snow/ is. You literally read "girl" one day and just decided to be a total creep…ick. It's like, I almost want to watch what I post now because I read this after posting some very personal sexual shit on other threads. Ugh. It people like you who ruin shit for everyone else. Just GTFO, no one wants you here. You could have been cool and maybe even welcomed, but you completely have instead succeeded in creeping everyone else on this 95% female board.
Gah, I don't even want to know what the extreme SJW tumblrinas who I know
come around here think. I suspect you'll really
get reamed out later, because I feel like I was pretty tame.
I was worried abt derailing earlier, but you ended up posting a pretty embarrassing confession after all. W2G!
I don't think anyone is giving male-anon a hard time because of "safe spaces".
I think it is more the fact that he actually thinks some posters here are writing shit to specifically turn on creeps, is hilarious. It is such a stretch of the imagination, and it reminds me of guys I know who will be like "omg this girl on the bus has been flirting with me so hard! She always looks at me and touches her hair!" And I'm always like "looking at you means nothing. I look at shit all day. I touch my hair for a million reasons. It isn't a secret message. It is just hair."
Or it reminds me of guys who think baristas are flirting with them, instead of basic customer service.
It just makes me want to shake them and be like "you aren't the center of the universe! Not everything is about you!"
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Seriously. That's why what he said was so fucking creepy/weird. And also why I strongly suspect he is underage…I mean who seriously thinks like that?
He might just be really immature and inexperienced. He sounds sheltered.
Lbr he's probably jacking it to these posts right now.
Literally no one here cares about you not caring about "my" sexuality.
Pro-tip: It's not "my" sexuality, almost all the guys you've met in real life are just as "creepy".
>>115374>I could pull out a few specific posts where I'm almost sure they're intentionally writing something arousing.
Please do so we can laugh at you together.
>You call me immature and sheltered, but women never grow out of that "ewww creepy" middle-school attitude about men/sex.
From the guy who came here to learn about women because he's trying to find a gf, and ended up fapping to posts that he thinks are written for him…ya, I'm going to listen to him about women.>>115379
What subliminal sex messages am I sending to your boner with this post?
We basically all don't care about you, or your sexuality.
(PS please don't jerk off to this post. I am not sending you any secret messages)
>>115382>because he's trying to find a gf
I'm not, I even said that before. It's not like reading posts here would help with that anyway.
>ya, I'm going to listen to him about women.
Regardless of whether or not you listen it's still true. What about my comments on men?
You stupid women have no clue how men think, especially regarding sexuality. Most men are mentally operating on a level far above women. They put on fake personas around you, and question whether they're too transparent, but then they remember how stupid and gullible women are.>>115383>>115384
Don't worry, I wrote this post with one hand.
Why does it matter though? I'm just trying to figure out in what way could I possibly give a shit if someone on the internet read a post I made and fapped to it. I barely ever posted pictures of myself to one site or another (certainly not imageboards) but if anything I'd just be slightly happy if someone fapped to them, in that at least that one person thought I was hot enough, but again ultimately I don't see any reason to give a shit. It just doesn't affect you personally in any way whatsoever unless you willingly let it affect you by consciously deciding that it actually bothers you.
The reason one doesn't post their pictures on imageboards is because you realistically don't want people you know IRL to know that you also browse these websites, not that some "creep" may end up masturbating to them.
It is just hilarious that you are so delusional that you think some people came here to write posts, with the intent of arousing "creeps".
It shows an inability to think beyond your perspective, and put yourself in another person's shoes. What would even be the goal of doing that? How would we know about the creeps, unless they tell us that they're jerking off to our posts? What's to gain?
THEN you get your feelings hurt, so you post about how women really don't know anything about men's sexuality, despite that not being the topic of conversation, and the fact that you obviously have no experience with relationships so no one cares what you think about sexuality at all.
So, to boil it all down: it matters because you had a chance to blend in and participate here, but you fucked it up, and now we're mocking you.
Do you fall in love with every store clerk who says "hello?" No? Then don't be a dum-dum who thinks posts on an anonymous message board are there just to titilate creeps like him.
>>115387>if anything I'd just be slightly happy if someone fapped to them, in that at least that one person thought I was hot enough
a) just because you'd be happy doesn't mean everyone would be
b) you're fapping to texts posts here. So I doubt it has anything to do with hotness
c) you sound desperate and inexperienced so of course you'd like to be fapped to
Christ, it's obvious from posting times, he's not going to have posted both >>115386
within one second, but you even go at it a good time after I post >>115391
and then comes this >>115393
retard that not only failed to notice the 1 second time difference between posts, not only failed to notice that the first guy never pretended to be someone else in the entire discussion and has a different tone to his posts, but even tries to damage control despite all that
Did you even read that girl's post? It's obviously not me. How did you even mistake her for me? You must have not read any of it.
>It shows an inability to think beyond your perspective, and put yourself in another person's shoes.
If you were able to do this we wouldn't be talking about this right now.
>What would even be the goal of doing that? How would we know about the creeps, unless they tell us that they're jerking off to our posts? What's to gain?
You are not every single woman that posts here. I did not say every single post a women writes here about sex is trying to arouse male/lesbian lurkers.
Do you really think that no female here has ever written a post intentionally meant to be arousing? No, that thought doesn't form in your mind, you tunnel-vision in on the thought of "he jacked off to MY posts".
This same exact female mentality happens can be exemplified from the current US election. "Trump insulted one individual woman? OMG Trump hates all women".>>115390
Yes it does.>>115393>>115392>>115394
Proof of female stupidity, they don't even read/understand posts to the point where they can actually mistake a very clearly different poster for another.
The US election is never anything but a farce to distract the population, the results don't actually matter at all
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Naw, you're the same person. I backtraced your IP.
I doubt that they do it just for the sake of arousing creeps.
Maybe it is just subconcious.
a comic dramatic work using buffoonery and horseplay and typically including crude characterization and ludicrously improbable situations.
synonyms: slapstick comedy, slapstick, burlesque, vaudeville, buffoonery
"the stories approach farce"
the genre of farce.
an absurd event.
"the debate turned into a drunken farce"
synonyms: mockery, travesty, absurdity, sham, pretense, masquerade, charade, joke, waste of time; informalshambles
"the trial was a farce"
t. linguistics expert
Typical female, does not understand why someone would ever do something that doesn't benefit themselves.
Why would someone give money/food to homeless people? What is there to gain?
Why would someone ever donate anonymously? What is there to gain?
Why would someone spend time dumping images on /c/ for other people? What is there to gain?
In this case however there is a mutual gain, believe it or not, there is some people (even girls!) who get satisfaction from sexually arousing other people. If you go on /soc/ you'll find plenty of female camwhores, and they're not getting paid to do that, why would they do that?
By this isn't /soc/
TIL posting fap fodder is a selfless act like feeding the homeless
I am not >>115416
but yes its selfless.
Maybe not as helpful but yeah selfless… There is no personal gain.
I never said you were that other poster.
And that is so pathetic, I have no words.
>pouring one out for all the incels who didn't see a pity boob today or whatever the fuck
>>115405>a selfless act like feeding the homeless
You would never feed a homeless person without taking a picture and posting it on social media.
"So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.">>115418
I do understand the majority-female demographics of this board. Is there anyone here that isn't aware there is also males and lesbians though?
actually I don't respect them, just fap to 2D, fucking casuals
>>115427>a fucking bible quote
Yes because it perfectly explains people like you who literally don't understand why someone would ever do something that they don't benefit from.
Of course in this case it's something God probably wouldn't approve.
>I'm just saying that any guy who thinks people post here to send them arousing messages to fap to, is a moron.
Let me go back to this point:
You are not every single woman that posts here. I did not say every single post a women writes here about sex is trying to arouse male/lesbian lurkers.
Do you really think that no female here has ever written a post intentionally meant to be arousing?>>115431
Yeah you're kind of right. It's not selfless if you're just doing it so you get rewards in the afterlife.
I've posted here for over a year, and I've never seen a post that read like it was deliberately meant to be fap fodder.
I've seen posts from robots pretending to be women.
I've seen posts talking about sexual topics (sex toys, relationship advice, health, etc), but talking about those things doesn't mean that the conversation is meant to be arousing.
Misquoted the post.
It took longer than I thought to delete and re-post.>>115437>>>/g/12611
Here's an example, go ahead and argue this post totally had no intentional meaning to be arousing. The Miku picture was for no reason too, just a random unrelated pic of course.
W-what? That turns you on? The pic is spoilered, so its not exactly in-your-face.
And it isn't even a sexy post. She's talking about anal, just like everyone else in the thread. It isn't even descriptive. It is like "here's how anal was introduced in my relationships."
What part of it got you all excited?
Are you really sexually repressed or something?
Talking about sex doesn't mean the post is meant to be arousing. That's on you, but it is hardly a secret sex message.
I don't understand how you could claim a post simply describing how anal was introduced to their relationships, in a thread about anal, to be intentionally trying to be fap bait, sex and sexual things can be spoke about normally without intending to turn others on.
By this logic sex education classes are meant to turn people on.
>>115439>What part of it got you all excited?
You're a real bitch you know that?>>115441
I knew I would get responses denying it, I just think you're silly.
Did you get turned on by the foot fetish mention? Or was it the period sex?
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No, it's in no way a failure to understand your libido. It's the douchebag entitled attitude you have about reading posts by girls, for girls
and treating it like it's written for you, as if it's lesbian porn. >>115378
LOL anon, sick burn. Because you know he's totally a neckbeard who's in to hentai. I gathered his much from his "lol yeah I'm totes attractive" posts.
Sexual abuse is very confusing to kids. I mean, we train kids to listen to adults, so they are really easy to manipulate.
Everything you're feeling is totally normal. Have you ever talked to somebody about this?
>>115374>>I could pull out a few specific posts where I'm almost sure they're intentionally writing something arousing
Lmfao, oh god, if you haven't gotten banned yet, please do. I'm just waiting to see where this goes…>>115385
Lmfao my sides anon…r/incels. You totally beat me to it. And it's funny because you know it's true. Gawd, I just discovered that pathetic community yesterday. The fucking worship that school shooter guy…like wtf? As if he's some sort of God for killing girls that rejected him and all of the so called "Chad" type guys, absolutely disgusting. >>115386>Most men are mentally operating on a level far above women
Top kek anon, do you post in r/IAmVerySmart too?! Jfc. Your replies are making you look even more pathetic TBH. But it looks like you got banned, so there ya go.
You were a child who had been taught that sexualised encounters with him were normal and you had just started sexually developing. It's normal for children to masturbate at that age when they haven't been raised experiencing abuse as the norm. What you did wasn't asking to be abused, what you did was respond in a way you were likely specifically groomed to respond.
I hope you can reach a point where you don't blame yourself for experiencing abuse anon. You were a child. Your father was the pervert not you.
Of course you can talk about it, especially with a therapist. That's what they're for!
Honestly, your feelings are very common. But, please don't be so hard on yourself. You didn't do anything wrong, your father did.
Just want to let you know that I was in the same boat as a kid. I don't even fully understand why I did those things, and obviously I feel gross and weird about that, but I know it's not my fault and that I did nothing "wrong".
Please talk to a therapist about it. There'll be no judgement on their end because that's their job and they've most likely heard it all.
Anon, the idea of 'missing out on something' will only get worse if you dwell on it as you get older. My friend did the same - she eventually cheated after complaining that she'd only been with two men, lost her longterm bf and is now just a wreck of a person at 30. Best to just admire and find attraction with women in a casual sort of way rather than agonize over what will be.
Plus, not having the experience doesn't make you any less legit as a bisexual person.
you would be amazed how many dudes would die just to hear about/watch you with another woman. i had more prior relationships with women than you, but just telling my dude 'yo i would still like to be with chicks sometimes' actually worked. i can be with girls totally on my own, no involvement from him, and he's cool with it as long as i tell him in detail later.
you can absolutely love someone with all of your heart and still be physically attracted to other people. if your partner is cool with you expressing that physical attraction and is comfortable/confident enough to know you love them and only them, who cares?
or go with what >>181178
said and suffer your whole life not knowing, ymmv
I don't think about it every day, just often enough to warrant a confession I guess. I'm definitely trying to move on from it. Thank you for your reassuring words, though, it means a lot.>>181185
I know there are guys like that, but I don't think my boyfriend is one of them. In the best case scenario he agrees that it's super hot and would love to watch me/hear about my adventures with women. In the worst case scenario (which, having known him for 7 years, is more likely), he says 'absolutely not' and now he knows that I've thought about being with other women, whether it's romantically or sexually.
That's just not a risk I'm willing to make with him, I love him too much.
Thank you both for your perspectives!
My mom used to go through all my stuff and even my journals from when I was 8-9 and to this day I still inspect my entire apartment for cameras she might have installed here.
I have my own place, and I still don't feel comfortable anywhere, I'm always checking to see whether she's following or watching me. I left my keys with her when I traveled so she could care for my pets and I'm so fucking sure she made a copy of my keys and will drop by anytime to see what I'm up to. Or maybe she bugged my room and can hear everything that goes on.
It really fucked me up.
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My boyfriend is 30 years older than me. People assume he's going through a midlife crisis and I'm a golddigger. If I'm not, then I must have daddy issues.
Maybe that's true, but I'm in love with him too.
. I typed up a reply this morning, but I guess I closed the tab before it actually posted. So:>>181290
tbh me too~>>181294
Our lives are definitely at different points, but so far this hasn't been much of an issue. We have so much else in common that the differences are rarely noticeable, and never a problem. It helps that I'm following a similar trajectory as his, so while we're at different points, we're on the same path, if that makes sense. It's so nice to be with someone who knows what they're doing from experience, especially when I don't.>>181354
I would find it to be a huge red flag if he were specifically pursuing younger women, especially women less than half his age. It's hypercritical, but I generally don't agree with age gaps this large. There are exceptions, but typically there is an obvious imbalance in power and resources, to the point of being exploitative to one or both parties (usually the younger, particularly with a larger age gap).
Initially my age gave him pause, and we agonized over this one issue for months before we decided to just go for it. We knew we
would be fine, but we were still worried about what everyone else would think. Still are, to some extent. It doesn't change my feelings about our relationship, but we do get a lot of quizzical or judgy looks when we're in public together.
He was previously married for ~10 years to a woman who is a couple of years older than he is, and then he was in a relationship for ~5 years with a woman ~10 years younger. Neither of us has experience with an age gap like this. So maybe I'm just being hopeful or naive, but I don't think my age itself was a factor here.
Sage for dumb typo.
I have no problem with age gaps but that's just gross
Getting off on excessive PDA in public is just as bad as bringing sexual furry petplay out to Wallmart. Hold hands and visibly be a defiant couple, sure, but nobody wants to be made into participants for your exhibitionist fetish>>181290
How do you feel about older women dating younger men, anon?
>>181367>our age isn't the problem>older man gradually trading in his partners for younger and younger models>not suspicious at all
At first I thought it was a coincidence but now it seems like he won't stop until he ends up with a toddler
>I'm the middle friend between people who love to hate each other, let's call them Lana and Jake.
>we are friends but Lana just loves to troll, tease and sometimes just be a bitch to Jake
>and sometimes Jake acts so stupid like he's a living meme that I can't not agree with her
>so we have a group chat - me, Lana and her bf, who also knows Jake, where we basically roast him
>it's so mean sometimes that I feel guilty
>Lana is roasting him openly, but I'm in shadows
>she thinks it's super funny that I'm with them in her roasting chat but when she says something mean to Jake, he comes to me to whine
>I screenshot my talks with Jake or when he whines or just stupid funny things and post it in Lana's chat, I have no idea why I do that, I think it's wrong, but it's like some dark secret and a guilty pleasure
>I'm The Ultime Fake Bad Friend
Men fall for lesbos all the time though, not exactly something they can help lol. Not everyone's a flamboyant stereotype.>>181606
Sometimes I fantasize about attacking my mom when she pisses me off tbh but she wouldn't cry she'd just fucking kick my ass.
I'm laughing but I also feel bad for you. You didn't prolong the cats suffering by playing Harry Potter anon. It's sad but magic isn't a thing and there's literally no evidence of it ever existing in any form. It's lovely to imagine that we can influence the world with our will but realistically, there's nothing out there that even suggests possibility whilst plenty of sciencetific research indicates that it's impossible in every way.
It's appealing to think crystals do anything, or that we have those metaphysical froo-froo wonders like auras and spirits and chakras but there's literal mountains of evidence showing that every case of supposed magic is deft trickery, or simply people choosing to take coincidence and bias as proof. Don't go feeling like you made your cat suffer. You just wanted to help it feel better in its last hours. He died with your kindness and love and that's the closest thing we can get to magic.
I don't believe in magic but I don't blame you for holding onto that feeling of "could be". Once when I was little I was in my backyard and the wind was blowing pretty hard and I quietly told it to stop and it just…did. Completely died down. I did it two more times successfully. A coincidence obviously but it was still kinda special.>>181681>He died with your kindness and love and that's the closest thing we can get to magic.
>>181696>fuck you for being hot dude
How misogynists and misandrists are born tbh kek
But aanyway, totally a normal thing. People who act like it's sinful to ever have a crush whilst you're in a relationship are either uncommon or deluded hypocrites. Take this time to evaluate your relationship though, nothing wrong with doing the math to see if it's still worth it for both of you but just remember that infatuation and love are different beasts>>181653
You do you anon, if a placebo creates a false positive then it doesn't matter if it's 'false' does it? Many people are superstitious even if they say magic is crazy
Well, you know. It's really normal to fall in love with someone else while in a relationship. See, you're still young and no one expects you to be forever with your current bf.
I think you should make it clear to your bf though. Just talk about it, it's really the fairest thing to do. See, you would also find it better that your bf tells you if he falls for someone else right? I don't think he would hold a grudge against you. Sure, it will hurt him because that is not something you wish for, but in the end he will be thankful that you were completely honest with him. So in the end, the breakup itself will be much better for him that way. So well, maybe in the end you will be able to even keep being friends with him.
And regarding the hot dude, I think you should really give it a shot. Life is too short to miss out on a guy that makes your head spin.
The only that kind of triggered
me was the one about the cat. But as long as you care well for him, I think it is kind of okay.
Maybe try to find a friend that loves animals and has the ressources to care for a cat and find a new home? Might be a win-win for both of you.
And how did you get your friend expelled?
I so relate to this except most people DO like me for that reason because I'm a doormat. So I have no reason to change except for all the shit that comes with being unable to say no/stand up for myself.
Are you or have you ever been in customer service by any chance? I used to be ridiculously shy and working in that domain helped a lot but all the social skills I learned involved being a doormat.
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My prescribed psych medication isn't working and I have punched both my mom and dad to the point where they have bruised and bled. I'm such a fuck up.
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I do this too. It's clinginess. I do my absolute best to suppress it, because I know it's unhealthy and I'd drive my friends away if I ever acted on it.
Just remind yourself that these feelings are totally irrational. Your friends still like you, even if they're hanging out with someone else.
Or else you'll end up like how I was in grade 8.
Ah, so that's what it is? I've had friends leave me due to my clinginess as well. It was really painful.
I guess there is something as being "too close.
I wouldn't say proud, I don't feel much of anything beside relief if anything? If that make sense. I don't have to kill myself trying to keep my scholarship and work an insane amount which is what I feared going in.
But the process of just being given all of this, it has changed me that I don't feel anything. I don't know what to feel at this point.
You already admitted you're a bad person for taking advantage of these people so you DO know what the right thing would be to do, you really came here hoping someone would tell you it's okay or even awesome to be doing it.
It's not. It's shitty and selfish and all that. Don't look to others to justify your ickiness. Either accept that you're a half step above a thief or scammer and move on or stop and don't expect sympathy for not having video games.
It's not even something important dude,
It's games. Tragic.
You're a horrid person and I hope you change your ways before you grow up to take advantage of more people.
Also, 'boohoo, working with a scholarship. I managed to do my full four years with scholarships and work enough to support myself. Nobody paid for my university. Same with my best friend who went on to do her masters. Stop placing the fact you're lazy on why you have to steal money from someone who has given it to you in good faith.
Awful. Grow up.
i think that the anons shitting on you for this are probably jealous tbh.
lots of girls do this. lots of girls have BFs just for the perks.
it's not that big of a deal imo? if he knows you wont be together probably but still wants to throw money at you thats his prerogative.
As long as you're not stringing him along and giving him false hope, let him do as he pleases. Enjoy it while you can, anon.
It takes a special kind of autism to type this up.
>Anon going to school with a scholarship >Anon does work study>Anon says her mother can't help her/him.>Anon's Ex knows his place but still want to help her/him out.>You sperg out saying they plays video games all day when it clearly seems they trying to get a career
You don't know the situation, you don't know what they are studying or where they are living. Not everyone has mommy and daddy to give them money, not everyone can work while in college because it really depends on what they are even studying in the first place, and it's pretty obvious loans were out of the question since anon didn't go that route. I'll go on a hunch and say the scholarship is GPA related, keeping up that GPA while working isn't easy, and only gets worse
It's not selfish, nobody forced the guys to give her stuff of finance her school/living. What is sounds like, at least as far as the ex is concerned, they know what they are doing. They are all grown, if they feel bubbly for helping anon, or if the ex feels he still wants to help her than that their decision.
Like everyone above already said, if they know they aren't getting anything out of it than let the losers give her money. Anon will just laugh at this a few years later when they graduates debt free and able to use every cent they earn right off the bat to live comfortably.
It's a goddamn confession thread, anon clearly wasn't looking for a pat on the back, they came to confess christ.
You sound like those autist that coddle males who donate hundreds of dollars to grill gamerz about how they are being swindled.
Me neither, STEM girls act like special snowflakes and usually jerk each other's cocks about feminism and how everyone mistreats them, whereas STEM guys (especially CS majors) never shut up about their future '1 gorillion starting' paychecks and how all the women that rejected them are going to pay (because guys like that are an absolute prize, apparently).
I don't like finance majors because they're all annoying wannabe bros only there for the money and 'stock trading LOL', accountants are OK though. I don't mind other business majors except marketers, they should all collectively sudoku.
The money part is what annoys me the most, especially when they put down my degree (in the humanities) because it's 'useless', like they're going to make six figures with just their bachelors. I met a "premed" today who was acting like she had already made it in, and she was only in her first year. Most of them don't really seem to care about science either, they're in it for the money they think they'll make. I ask them why they want to do X and they almost never mention that they like their field. I can understand being pragmatic, but there has to be a way of finding something that doesn't destroy your soul and pays the bills.
Marketing majors are absolute cancer, I agree kek. Every accounting major I've met has been extremely boring.
I'm honestly jelly right now.>the guys in the discord group
How did you find them?
When I was interning one summer I got close with my coworker because we both found out we like to play games and other geeky things. She invited me into her boyfriends discord group so we could all play mobs together and pathfinder.
The best way to find groups like this would probably be forums or join groups when invited in multiplayer games. A lot of the new people who join the group were found by one of us playing something on console game or mmo and think they were chill enough to join.
I'm sick of being called a man just because I dont think it's okay to suck up someone's money for selfish kid shit.
I'm a dude who stumbled here from a link on another board
I'd say that I hope some maniac kicks down your door and cuts your head off with a machete but I'd probably do the same if I had some millionaire cougar gf. On another note, guys who do this shit are ultimate betas, walking doormats and are looked down by every guy who isn't a pussy.
I don't need to be asked you fat, dumbshit cow
Just for saying that, prepare to have your shit board spammed all over 4chan and being made aware of
Oh no! Not 4chan.
a weepy robot is gonna bring his personal army, and spam some more robot tears. Batten the hatches it's anonymous!
Good luck. They're going to laugh at your obviously triggered
Yes, I feel you.
It was a handful of factors that changed me, but I think one in particular was this "transgirl" I know that is one of the worst persons I've ever met, totally personal cow. She transitioned to get more attention for her narc ass and she lied about her Lattes, her name, where she's from… And talks everyday about the "struggles of being a trans woman but succeeding academically" when guess what - all her "success" was achivied when she was still a man. So groundbreaking, right? >muh hardships
Ah, also, she used to make fun of trans people before transitioning. And made fun about lesbians too. And she used to call me "man-face" all the time, yeah, much for "breaking gender stigma", right?
Also, I started thinking, isn't cotton ceiling totally against the thought that "woman like butch lesbians because they are women, not 'fake men'"? Did we regress? Why can't you be a dude that is super into dresses? Even if you want a pair of tits, why can't you still be a dude? Gender (and therefore gender-roles) abolitionism is the answer, I guess.
Sorry, I digressed a bit.
Worst part is that I can't even express any of that openly, many people I know would demonize me and shit. Sucks.
Samefag but, with that being said, I probably would never ""missgender"" someone because I still don't like making people uncomfortable and stuff, and I do care about real trans problems like high suicide rates and prostitution and stuff, but damn, I really wish they would stop. Kids are getting the most shit out of all this.
My grandmother died last August.
She used to beat me and turn my mother against me.
I'm happy she's dead and I'm scared I'm a sociopath or something.
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I'm simultaneously jealous of and frustrated with this jfashion blogger. Every since she wrote this post: https://emiiichan.blogspot.com/2016/12/thetruthis-7-assumptions-truths.html
I've been irritated about the part where she's says she's not rich and is just middle class.
What frustrates me is watching spend tons of money every month ordering somewhat expensive clothes(mostly liz lisa) from Japan on top taking 2 trips to Japan this year. It seems like she's spending a ridiculous amount of money despite only being middle class. I'm also annoyed that she mostly buys Liz Lisa when there are so many awesome brands she could spend it on. I also wish she had more variety in her blog posts, other then hauls and japan posts. She's got the money to post cool stuff but she focuses mostly on posting the same boring Liz Lisa coords(I do like Liz Lisa but their clothing can be repetitive).
I know it's her money to spend how she wants and I don't dislike her for it. I understand this jealously is irrational and stupid but for the past year I've been jealous of people I follow on social media since my financial situation has been shitty the past year and I've been regretting how much time I've wasted on school. Luckily I'm graduating this semester and can start working on my career and be satisfied with my life.
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I was already in love with my boyfriend, but now that I know how much is in one of his savings accounts, I want him to impregnate me ASAP. So now I'm worried I'm a gold digger.
Not necessarily a good digger but at least 80% likely to be an especially terrible parent if you want a baby to keep a man with money around.
Don't get knocked up anon. Like, ever. It's a human being not a tether to an income.
haha i knew someone would get pissy. to be fair, you don't know the whole story- he was horrible (he never hit me but he hit his mom), was a 'former' druggie (i believed in giving people second chances, when we met he swore he would quit, turned out he was stealing my money and he pawned my purse which was the ending point tbh). also we don't have cctv here, kek.
i never got caught and i'm moving states away for medical school so it doesn't matter anyway. maybe he should've thought before he pawned off my stuff :^)
Sounds like a complete cunt, but what you did kind of says that you guys suited each other honestly.
It's been a fucking year and instead of getting the fuck over it like an adult, you decided to go out of your way to spraypaint his car.
You both sound like shitty people, and I hope you realise how retarded it is to be looking for a new career in medicine and then go do stupid shit like that over a year old grudge.
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I'm 27 and I just cut again after a 3 year break. I am already thinking about buying an exacto knife so I can do it more.
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Don't. Better a momentary lapse than a full-on relapse.
Well, the night before I slept topless, with a fan on (So my nips were hard), spooning a pillow. The next day, I played a lot of sexy flash games, but never finished myself off, if you know what I'm saying. That night I was playing with my boobs as I was trying to sleep and felt a little wetness. I turned on the light and, low and behold, there were tiny droplets of milk coming from my nipple. To make sure it was a fluke or, I don't know cancer, I tried with the other side and succeeded getting milk from that one too. I wasn't stimulating the nipple exclusively, but kind of massaging the whole thing feom top to bottom. You know how deeper down, there are those harder spots in the tits? The ducts or whatever, well I was massaging those the same way I would rub a muscle cramp, trying to work out the knots. I made more progress with massaging on the lower half, below the nipples, in an upward motion, towards the areola. After rubbing them for a while, I squeezed around my nipple in, well, a milking motion. I'm not even busty, I'm only a large A-cup, but lacation has always been a fantasy of mine, so I'm pretty happy.
Go for the ducts underneath before you start squeezing your nips. As for meds, I am on a birth control patch, and I've recently started taking Biotin. Dunno if that has anything to do with it though.
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My boyfriend is perfect but there's just one thing
>His female best friend
I can't help but feel jealous over her
She's slightly pretty but other than that there's no red flags
They don't even hang out often & she has a bf
But I feel like maybe my boyfriend had a crush on her before or maybe there was even a thing between them. I don't know what makes me think that other than that she's not ugly.
I will never ask him about his past with her because I'm too scared but I do feel like I'm jealous over nothing.
I never dated a guy that had a female best friend so I just can't help but feel extremely jealous
She even wanted to hang out with me but I'm too autistic and don't want to :(
How do I cope with my jealousy?
Jealousy is a valid feeling, just like envy, despite both being the most taboo feelings in modern society. If they weren't serving an important purpose, they would never have evolved. Jealousy helps motivate you to keep something you consider valuable that you have, envy helps you obtain something you consider valuable that you don't have.
They're only bad if they spiral out of control. So be jealous. Just don't act on it irrationally, use it as your warning signal, that's what it's there for.
My best friend is male, but I would dump him if the relationship got really serious (engaged) and my significant other had a difficult time accepting him. It would take a very serious relationship though, and speaking for myself, we have fooled around, but aren't actually attracted to one another and wouldn't do anything if one or both of us were in a relationship.
Obviously I can't speak for everyone, but I'd just suggest speaking with your boyfriend. I can't imagine he would get angry over you sharing your feelings on this subject. It's OK to be jealous, but try to keep in mind the reason they are best friends and not lovers is because obviously they have no interest in taking the relationship to that level.
I'm still friendly with an ex of mine since he's a pretty chill dude. No desire to actually do anything with him other than by weed and share anime memes.
I don't think I'd care if my boyfriend had a friend like that since I've dated guys who still talk to an ex, but idk, maybe it's rude.
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Imo it's weird to have a female best friend when you have a girlfriend… Shouldn't your girlfriend be your female best friend?
it's called depression, anon.
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in my experience guys like that are either players or babies. their "girl friends" are just girls they want to hook up with, or girls that coddle them and act like their mom. but maybe the men around here just suck.>>191505
reading your post anon reminded me of myself a few months ago. hell i think i even posted something really similar in the venting thread. i've been depressed my whole life (well, since I was like 13/14 maybe) and it really affected how i turned out- also in my mid-20s, never had a serious relationship, don't have close friends anymore, don't talk to anyone besides my parents. On and off so many antidepressants and nothing worked. Honestly, it wasn't until very recently that I started taking antipsychotics that my depression went away. I was so scared to start them because i thought, i'm not psychotic, i don't have delusions or mania or anything like that, and the side effects scared me. but i was about ready to kill myself because my life was so dumb and pointless so i figured nothing could be worse. and for the first time in my life, i'm not depressed. im still sad and weird, and don't have friends. but i don't wake up every day wishing i was dead, or feeling like some combination of a ghost, and alien, and an infant completely unable to relate to anyone my age.
But its hard because I remember being in the place it sounds like you're at, and there's really nothing anyone could have said to make me feel like it would get better. it's hard when you have no proof of things ever changing to feel like they will. i don't even honestly know why i stuck it out long enough to get here. luck i guess. but its been almost a month now and i've had no suicidal thoughts, for the first time in my life i'm just not depressed. it sounds insincere but it really is possible there is something out there that could help you that you havent tried yet. even if you feel like you've tried everything, it might just be something that hasn't even been offered yet and you just have to find it.
it can go both ways I think. Like you can have a best opposite sex friend while dating someone because sometimes that's just how life is.
Just don't let them overstep any boundaries.
Why does everyone always assume that everything is just depression/mental illness? Why does everyone assume that the default is to have friends and people who like you and a partner and a good job?
Some people just lead shitty lives. Sometimes it's not the depression causing the lack of friends and motivation, it's that everything goes wrong and having no social outlet causes the depression.
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my (actually normie) bf plays dnd over skype with a bunch of robot-tier losers once a week, and i go out of my way to act like the perfect waifu in the background because i know they can hear me and it makes them jealous. i'll always cook a nice semi-fancy dinner with dessert so bf brags about what he's having to them - bf just thinks i'm bored hehe. one of them in particular is a salty little fuck who has openly stated how jealous he is of my bf and i low-key hate the guy (he creeps on me and my friends), so hearing him whine in jealousy is so satisfying. pleases me to hear them whinging about 'tfw no gf' while they eat frozen meals in their mom's houses.
did you even read either of the posts you're replying to? the anon said that they know they are depressed and have tried treatment.
>everything goes wrong and having no social outlet causes the depression.
that's literally exactly what I said
This is A+, anon.
>>191596>marriage doesn't equal babies
I'm married and childless, but you'd be surprised how many people think it does. I got married to my then-bf in my early 20s (to get away from my nutso mother, inb4 hurr Venus) and neither of us want kids ever, but every single time I tell people that I'm married I get bombarded with questions like>ooh, are you pregnant?>did you get married because you got pregnant?>when are you going to get pregnant?>ooh so you're planning on expanding the family, hee hee>when are you going to get kids?>it's good to be a young mum, your body will bounce back!>but you're still in college!>how are you going to study and take care of baby at the same time?
Ad nauseam, and I never even mention children.
For a lot of people marriage is just something you do when you get pregnant because you don't want a bastard in the family. Those vows about love in sickness and in health just don't count anymore, apparently.
I've been both with uncircumcised and circumcised and the circumcised guy was so much better tbh he seemed like he enjoyed sex more he would cum faster too (which I prefer) but other people may have had other experiences idk
…i honestly miss the sex we had with /vent
:3 that's cute
i remember i once hit a button to "fax my parents" about joining a forum or something when i was 12. it was like a choice "i'm over 18 let me register" / "fax my fucking parents why don't ya"
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I've been slowly distancing myself from people that I don't want to associate with anymore and I don't feel bad when they catch on. It's more of a relief than anything, knowing that I don't have to pretend that I genuinely enjoy their company and have to hang out with them.
Most suitable post for confessions thread, love it.
It would be even better if you confess it to him, lol
You need to be more in your body, exercise isn't a meme, but any movement helps.
Also try to get angry about being depressed (which is pretty hard to do but sometimes it works, express anger with your whole body)
I'm confused. You recently got a long distance boyfriend but wanted to fuck some guy in your class?
I'm not so sure about that, anon. I know long-term couples who met online at first, and their relationship only strengthened when they met in real life.
It's definitely not for everyone, but that doesn't make them completely invalid IMO. Plus, with the advent of Skype, FaceTime, etc, it's a lot easier for people to interact more closely (and harder for them to form inaccurate impressions of each other).
I'm not sure how or why you came to that conclusion (except based on your own personal experiences, which don't necessarily dictate the whole of reality), but alright, I guess. You're entitled to your opinion.>>192183
Eh, we're going to meet in September and possibly live together further down the line. We've also been together for almost a year now. I just think it's a bit silly to write off relationships that don't begin in the most traditional sense as "not real".
As someone who was in almost the exact same boat:
Depression never goes away. You have to just learn to live with it. It sucks but eventually with trial and error you learn ways to deal with it. Some days are worse than others.
Starting with making small goals and working your way up is the only thing that helps. Keep track of them, you will feel better about yourself.
A part time job would do you wonders and expect yourself to make mistakes, sperg, whatever. You can always quit and try a new place.
Not that anon nor do I share their opinion on the world (I'm cynical but I still see a lot of positivity in existence), but I genuinely think my presence is a leech on the world. I've been trying to make myself a better person (on a grant, getting good grades, trying to be more positive), but I still feel like everything good that happens to me is wasted and should go to another person.
I have a weird relationship with my depression and my sense of self. Sometimes I'm ridiculously adamant that my tastes or beliefs are superior, while in the next moment I'm lower than human garbage.
Wish I could just exist as an omniscient being who can watch tv and listen to conversations instead of having to participate, tbh.
Same fag but
youre probably allowing yourself to come to terms with how life actually is rather than having the comfort of hope around but anon, if it really is overwhelming and making you unable to be happy, you should seek help.
That sort of mindset will eventually break you down and your view of everything will become so warped, you'll feel like it's crystal clear when really it isn't and it will possibly make it so that you can't even leave your house and you'll be nothing more than a neet
Have you found anything else that enables you to experience the same view and understanding of the world just like when you're depressed?
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My boyfriend's brother is the most awful human being I have the displeasure the be forced into contact with. I hope I outlive him. I want to be at his funeral sometime in the future (hopefully soon) with a smile on my face.
Less introspection, more action. What you do should be a much bigger focus than who you think you are.
First, there is no such thing as an objective view of yourself. Other people will always perceive you through the lens of their own experiences, plus different people value different things, so you will be judged differently on the same thing.
How you will view yourself is hence just a matter of choice, and should be utilitarian - choose that view which helps you grow the most and hinders you the least, and change it up as needed to fit that goal. It should be fluid, not set in stone, so that you can change and grow.
And it should be secondary to your actions. Think of all those self-proclaimed geniuses who never amount to anything because they never put in any effort. As long as you do the best you can and strive to follow your own values
, that's enough. THAT'S what shapes who you are objectively, and that's what will make you into the person you want to be - the best version of yourself.
A mixture of both. I do have a problem but I rarely try to starve myself. I was out today and didn't realize the only thing I've had was coffee.
It was scary, I had to drop my clothes in the dressing room and go to the food court. I felt so stupid.
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For years I've had a crush on my brother, it probably happened because we didn't grow up together and I was always so happy when we finally got to see each other.
He's handsome and funny and thus has a gf, obviously I am not seriously hoping for anything. I'm fine with living through terrible fake incest-"sister found step-brother JERKING IT and SUCKS HIM OFF"-porn, and whenever I watch a new series/anime I immediately ship the pair of siblings.
To me he's the perfect guy but I'd never act on it in real life.
I can't tell this to anyone ever, feels good to finally get it off my chest
That sounds like an ok idea anon, but be prepared to find a few racist/homophobic/sexist zealots in there as well as a few nice people.
You could even just say that you're interesting in exploring 'believing' but still working it out yourself, and anyone who respects that without trying to save you is good friend material
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I'm in a shitty, abusive living situation and only three people including my therapist know. I tell all of them that I'm saving up money to move out on my own but in reality I am not at all. Every time my paycheck comes around, I spend it on stupid frivolous shit like clothing or makeup or hair products. Things that make me feel better for a brief moment. I keep it a secret because I know I should be saving my money and leaving is the most important thing but I also struggle with mental health and a lot of days I start to think…what's the point. If it ever gets so bad I could just kill myself and I end up going for whatever will make me the most instantly happy, instead of what will make me happy in the long run. I'm worried I'm too weak. I've never lived on my own before. Even though I know right now is not good, it's all I've known.
I just feel stuck, and embarrassed. All of my money should go into savings but I just waste it to feel brief happiness.
Even now, I'm sitting here trying to talk myself out of buying a $12 hairbrush after spending $50 on cosmetics this week. a HAIRBRUSH. I have like 3 hairbrushes already. You can get them at the dollar store. But I still feel like I /need/ this specific one to be happy. It's all so…stupid. Why am I this stupid.
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I had an ex best friend who treated me horribly in high school. She would force me to make costumes for her, transport her to cons, and pay for her hotel rooms (all for free, of course). She constantly guilt tripped me into doing things for her because we were "best friends" but really she was an emotionally abusive peice of shit towards me and her many romantic partners. She would make fun of my size (I had a really bad thyroid problem where no matter what I did I could never lose weight), say that the things I made her for free were shit, make fun of what shows I liked, and constantly told me that I would never get a good job because I wasn't in the same program as her in high school. Also, she once tried to physically hold me down and beat me when I tried to leave her house early to go buy snacks because she wanted me to watch some shitty old anime. She was a terrible person and she made me doubt myself and my therapist thinks she's the reason why I developed and eating disorder and ptsd.
She was (and still is) a social climber in the cosplay community. She's only into "old school anime" and she tries to make that a selling point. Every costume that I made for her, she tried to pass it off as her making it herself, and she became sort of popular because of it. She tries to be besties with every popular cosplayer in my country and she would oftentimes blow me off to hang with her more popular friends (despite them hating her lol). One super popular cosplayer endded up falling for her shit, and they two became best friends. We kind of drifted apart after high school, but she still tried to remain super close because I still agreed to make her things.
Flash forward to one year later. One day I found out that she (my friend) refused to pay a sewist for a costume and claimed that she made the outfit herself. I decided at that point to stop being friends with her because I did not want to be part of that nonsense anymore, so I soft blocked her on every social media. Seconds after I softlocker her, she texted me with a " :( " and demanded to know what was going on. I explained to her that I did not want to deal with her bullshit anymore. The problem with that is that she freaked out and convinced everyone in our com that I'm an asshole (despite never having problems with anyone before) and that I'm transphobic because I accidentally misgendered the sewist that she stole from (I did not know the gender of the person who made her outfit; I'm kinda of an sjw so I feel bad misgendering people and I never try to do that on purpose). I no longer cosplay because I just never want to see her again (my therapist said that it's for the best and that I should not expose myself to her for my safety and sanity).
So flash forward to another year later, I find a thread on anonib where both my ex friend and her famous cosplay bff's nudes and full names are posted. I feel like I'm obligated to tell them that their nudes and full names are online for all to see, but both my ex friend treated me horribly and her bff is also a shit so idk what I do. I kinda want her to suffer because she put me through a living hell but then again getting doxed is awful so I'm not sure what to do. I want to be a good person and do the right thing but I don't want this person back in my life.
Man that sounds horrible.
I'm sorry about that. Like damn wtf is wrong with her.
Do you have some mutual friends ?
You could tell them so they can tell them?
Or does your ex bestfriend have a tumblr or smth ? If you make a fake acc and tell them on there.
By doing that you want have them back.
Anyways I sincerely hope you feel better nowadays and gained some good friends.
Be strong! Look at all the things you have. Do you use them? Unbookmark all the shopping sites you frequent. Delete your browsing history. Put some money in your savings account right now, even a dollar a day will make a difference. You can do it, and then when you move out, you can buy all the stuff you want (after rent of course).
Next time you consider buying something unnecessary, ask yourself if you value independence more than that object. You need to get into the habit of assessing the worth of things. Good luck!
Don't deprive yourself completely anon.
The $50 purchase may have been inappropriate, but I feel bad that you can't order a $12 brush without financial conflict like that.
You could always lower the amount you're putting in your savings, and use it to give your frivolities budget a lil boost. At least that way you're not spending too recklessly, but you're not constantly miserable.
To be extremely honest with you anon, having come from an abusive family myself, I'm in my third year of not living with family and my budgeting is the strictest it's ever been. My wage is entry level and there's so many bills that at least when I lived in my family situation I didn't have to worry about as much.
Some of my superficial friends have stopped coming to me for clothing or other fashion discussions because I haven't bought anything j-fash related since…September?
I won't sugarcoat this. Or pretend that things will be great the first year. It sucks.
But if you train yourself to budget now you'll be happier and won't make mistakes that could land you back with the abuse again once you do move out.
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I'm 30 and I'm still a fangirl. I daydream about what are probably ridiculous cliché scenes and ofcourse a lot of hurt-comfort (actually mostly hurt-comfort)
Except it's not really fandom but it's the closest I can compare it to. It's just some characters I made up in a fantasy setting and a story I made up, I've been having these characters in my head for more than 10 years. (the characters and the story evolve and change as I get older)
I'm actually thinking about writing some stories and post them somewhere anonymously.
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I had a bad falling out with a roommate last year. I called her out for causing a ton of drama by sleeping with other girls' boyfriends, dumping them after a few months, and being a shit friend in general. Everything was always about her and I got tired her wounded princess act so I moved out. Lots of people in our circle got on my case for being a bitch to her. Prior to this we were really close and even shared Facebook, tumblr, and Instagram account info.
>mfw she never changed any of her passwords
>mfw I've been reading all her DM's
>mfw she's burning bridges with everyone in our circle
>mfw the only people who want to hang out with her are new guys she's fucking
>mfw even they're starting to get tired of her shit
Schadenfreude is a wonderful thing.
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>tfw no blood fetish gf
I have something called conversion disorder along with major depression with psychotic features. It popped up in freshmen year after our school suffered a spree of student suicides and general tragedy like a car crash. Four kids died in one year it was terrible and stress inducing, for months (as terrible as it sounds) most of the school was essentially waiting to see 'who was next' and bracing ourselves for another round of grief.
But thats another story.
In my case conversion disorder basically means instead of having panic attacks I used to have non-epileptic seizures, or odd twitching episodes or even hitting episodes. Think exorcism horror movie scenes or a particularly mentally disabled person who kinda giggles and fidgets to themselves. talking nonesense and essentially like an oversized toddler.
It was awful, not just for me but my family who witnessed me going from normal person to staring suspiciously and muttering at invisible shadow men with convulsing arms or having to help me when I collapsed on the floor contorting for an hour and then right back to a normal person who happened to be very very sore.
Medicine helped, time helped. Four years later I havent had an episode in eight months. The future is bright and I am happy for it. But now that I have my mind back I can recall the things that I didn't comprehend back then.
The school essentially kept me locked in a side room with only a small window on the door for the final three months of the year. They would peak in at me and whisper like I was an animal even if I was having a good day and didn't need to be hidden away from other students. I didn't do any school work, no one bothered reaching out to me to tell me what assignments I had. I just stared at the wall and the clock waiting to go home.
One day a teacher found me in the bathroom obsessively washing my hands. They brought me to the side room and I remember them getting the principal who called my mother and told her I was a liability. The next time I had an episode they took me to the ER where I mostly sat on the bed staring at the floor.
The principle sat next to me and asked what I was looking at. I told him there was a hand coming out of the floor. He didn't ask any more questions.
My extended family didn't treat me the same. Even on excellent days when I was myself, they avoided having the long conversation we'd always had. Politics religion science history… Hours and hours sometimes until dawn. When I tried to happily bring up our usual debate subjects they were brushed aside and they instead treated me as if I were near brain dead if they even spoke to me at all.
But the very worst was when I was actually hospitalized. There was this one nurse who disliked me and thought I was a hoax and tried convincing other nurses I was as well.
I'd had to go to homeschooling by that point, several ER visits, Brain scans, neurologists, shrinks, docs. Two years worth of proof by that point not to mention the series of videos my parents recorded to help doctors decide if I was epileptic or something else entirely. My parents tried to show the nurse in question these videos but she only watched a few seconds before getting annoyed and ushering them away.
She was always annoyed.
I remember having a convulsion/mild psychotic episode there in the hospital. I remember the nurse; chunky, mid twenties, blonde ponytail, shitty 'I want to talk to the manager' makeup, her arms were crossed as she looked down at me. I think I was on my bathrooms floor.
Her brows furrowed and she was scowling looking really annoyed because I had called for help. I vaguely remember her huffing at me and rolling her eyes before she turned and left me there by myself when I knew I needed someone to watch over for my own safety.
She came back later to see that I'd started scratching at imaginary dirt on my arms in her absence and was mildly bleeding. She was still annoyed and the next day had one of the doctors interrogate me and ask if I was doing it for attention.
I was too out of it to be annoyed back. I told them I appreciated the care the hospital offered me and the other kids there but that I really just wanted my hand sanitizer back because there was still 'dirt' on my arms.
I hope that nurse reevaluated her job.
Another girl had hurt themselves much more severely under her watch while I was there. A snapped tooth brush and the shards of an eyeshadow compact mirror that she'd shattered in the absence of the nurse. She looked like she'd been mauled by a tiger. And said girl was met with the same annoyance.
I hope that girl is doing better now like I am.
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I have a crush on some ugly (but hes ugly cute to me) tumblr guy who will never notice me and seems pretentious as fuck but I check his tumblr every day just to see what he posted. I don't even know why I'm attracted to him because we probably don't have anything in common and he seems like a dick.
I kind of want to hit him up just to see if he's cool or not but my soshul anusziety is holding me back. Sigh… tfw I'll never have an ugly-cute pretentious twink boyfriend.
Hunbun, you ain't supposed to weight 98 pounds at 5 foot 7. You're 20 pounds underweight.
>>193389>i'm getting older and i'm afraid
Here are the keywords.
It's normal to be scared shitless of time. Death. Strength and beauty waning. Goals and dreams unfulfilled.
But nothing will turn back the clock. You can strive to have the shape of a younger you all you want, it won't do shit.
You can't control it. Not time. And controlling your weight will not help you control time.
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If I was your brother and I knew about this I would file a restraining order asap would move to the the side of the world. How does it feel to wanna suck your brother's dick anon?
Why the fucking fuck would you want to stay close to people who'd burn you at the stake if you show your true self?!
Silent people like you cowering before intolerant people like them is what made Nazi's gassing Jews possible.
I can't offer you any real practical advice here or empathise with your individual situation, I just wanted to comment and say you're seriously awesome for surviving all of that and not allowing it to turn you into your parents.
As for your emotions spilling everywhere, I can empathise with that. I had a difficult childhood due to being mentally ill, a stepdad who constantly humiliated and isolated me from the family, being bullied at school, and loads of other traumashit. That culminated in being gang-raped aged 17 and finally becoming a homeless drug addict. When I finally diagnosed with bipolar aged 20 and put into therapy/given meds… the emotional overspill of facing my past was a huge shock. So I get where you're at.
Basically all I want to say is: feel it. Feel every last bit. Say what you need to say, cry when you need to, go to a field and scream, put pillows in a pile and punch the fuck out of them. Do it all. You'll make it out the other side one day and it'll all be worth it. Strength to you, farmer.
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i have a fantasy of becoming a neet in my own little dark studio apt… breaking up with my boyfriend, cutting off ties with everyone but a few friends, and just not giving a fuck anymore. in this fantasy, i still go to work as a normie, though…
sometimes when i'm stressing out, i envision my neet self doodling weeb shit on a tablet or eating instant ramen contentedly by myself, and it makes me feel better.
i think this is because i realized a little while ago that i probably have npd due to my parents, and sometimes the combination of being mad at everyone + knowing i need to change these thought patterns overwhelms me…
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I'm really really into nonsexual ageplay and have been for over a decade. Before tumblr it was so hard to find anything about it, I remember I knew exactly two people over the internet that were also interested and I found them through livejournal. Now it's all over the place, it's almost mainstream. But I think that people who are into it for sexual or fetish reasons are gross and perverted.
I know it's taboo to think that considering I am into it in a nonsexual way and so have no room to judge other people and yet I do. Shitting and diapers and pseudo-pedophilia (dd/lg or lolita/nymphette stuff) disgusts me if it's a woman and infuriates me if its a man. I wonder if there are more people who are the same, but just feel they can't talk about it.
It's already such an embarrassing and strange interest, and I hate that its kind of unsaid you have to just lump everyone together…the people who get off on pretending to fuck kids are somehow equal to the people who like to color and be cuddled/babied. It seems worlds apart to me but I'm sure to society its all just the same weird/gross baby stuff. I don't blame people for thinking that way, I mean if you aren't into it why would you even bother with the nuances. It would all just seem stupid and gross.
I don't know why it appeals to me when it's not even a fetish. I kind of hate myself for it and wish I didn't like it most of the time. I wish I could erase it from my brain.
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bikes arent usually cute and dont have to be. unless you want to look like a toddler riding a trike. just get on the fucking bike, anon.
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This is the one I want. It says it's a women's cruiser soooo. It's pretty damn cute. I'm not riding a men's bike that's too big for me.
yeah no, that looks cheap and tacky.
you'd look better cruising down the street in a random bxm or mountain bike honestly. now go have a good time and ride in what ur dad got u
Be mature about it and explain it to tour dad. I think it's really sweet of him to do that for you.>>194661
That bike is super cute but you might want to try learning on a different one because there will be a lot of falling and you don't want to risk damaging it.
Holy shit anon lol my dad bought me a bike too (I ask for it) and he bought me almost that exact
bike, color and all. I was gonna buy a secondhand plain beater for like 15 bucks, too.
You sound like a salty ungreateful 12 year old..Are you sure your old enough to use this website if you cant even ride a bike lol. Your dad bought you a gift fucking appreciate it you spoilt brat. That bike you want is ugly af anyway.
Having a parent force something onto you that you didn't want, even if it was a 'thoughtful' gift, is an annoying pain in the ass. It doesn't make you ungrateful just because you want something more specific.
I think >>194661
is a cute bike, but be cautious about those cruisers because they often don't come with gear switches and so riding up hills and steep inclines becomes a tough task. You can always save up for half and sell the bike your parent got you when you get close to the goal.
I plan to do the same with the washer and dryer my parents got me. I wanted to save up for a nice duo, but they decided to get me really cheap models. The washer doesn't agitate my clothes, and the lint catcher on the dryer basically catches nothing and so my clothes and laundry room are always super linty.
I've noticed this go-cheap behavior in many white baby boomers around my parent's age. Buying cheap worked back in their day because they could get something quality for low price, but that's not the case today. It's not that I'm not grateful for them thinking about me (probably why other anons with not-so-nice parents are lashing out at you), but I want to save for something specific and to my liking. Nothing wrong with that.
>>194702>I come from a poor family of four kids with a single mother
This doesn't disprove anything I've said.
Like I was saying, you're lashing out because you come from a not-so-nice and unfortunate living situation and so you cannot fathom having the opposite problem of parents forcing stuff onto you.
I'm sure you'd love it if your mom so much as gave you a $15 bike from the dump. So of course you'd think someone else is acting spoiled for complaining about something they don't want.
It's all relative, and I feel bad for you.
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Yes you are ungrateful bitch, take what you are given and shut up… You don't even know how to ride it anyways.
You seem like a person who needs a fucking good slap…Just saying
>>194705>If he's capable of getting a girlfriend his own age or preys on younger girls
DING! DING! DING!
Sorry you got used, anon. That blows. I bet he plays 'coy, broken professy' just so he can lure in caring students like you. There was a power dynamic situation there and he abused it.
I don't think he used me entirely. I got a copy of a past final exam for one of my classes from him that was about 90% the same as the one I ended up taking.
So it wasn't a total loss.
Anon you let him touch you in exchange for exam answers. He used his position as a prof to use you.
Hell, my professors didn't even let me shut the god damn door in their office. Your prof should be fired.
We didn't do a lot of 'touching'. We kissed maybe twice? No sex, no fondling.
But yeah, it was skeevy. What's bad is that the department head said that our relationship was okay (Yes, we actually went through the proper protocol in the handbook, which involves letting the dept. head know if it could be a conflict of interest).
That condescending feminist attitude is the opposite of adult/mature.
When females tell their side of a story, it's almost always very biased. When they imitate the other person's voice they make them sound "evil" or "nasty". They change the tone or story in a way that best reflects them, they drop lies or exaggerations everywhere.
Other females of course are too stupid to see this, they are swayed by the emotional rant of the other female, and they will almost always agree with them no matter what they actually say.
They don't critically analyze anything, they just respond to the tone of voice like an animal, their brains don't work based on logic.
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i wish i could thank my mom one more time and really mean it for being a drugged up asshole when i was younger. she died years go in my early twenties and now that im clean and older and wiser(?) i regret more and more the time i could have spent with her that could have been more meaningful.
i try to be strong about it and act like since it has been years that im over it, but honestly it eats me up so much. she tried so hard with a big family and little money with little things. crafts and hugs and special dinners when we could do it. anything to make her family feel loved. my step father was a physically abusive drunk idiot and no matter what shit he put her or us through, her children were always first.
i feel so weak admitting that i get so choked up but i loved her and miss her so much
Your mom sounds like a great lady, she'd be so happy to see you clean now
My mom recently died and I often find myself imagining her 'looking down on me from heaven' or talking to me as a ghost or something when I remember stuff she told me. It's pretty silly, and I have a logical atheism-influenced part of me that knows it's probably meaningless, but do it anyway since it brings me comfort.
i do the same thing though. i like to imagine that she could at least see the better parts of my life. she died pretty soon after my daughter was born and i hold on to the baby blanket she made for her and try to put my thoughts into it like she can get them.
im really sorry youre dealing with that loss too anon.
I haven't been hurt by any woman ever, basically because they can't hurt me.
I wish a female would hit me, their uncoordinated weak bodies can do no harm to me. Your punches are like hitting me with a wet noodle. It would give me an excuse to show them "equality".
Being an incel hurts but that's indirect.>>194950
Men do this when there's an actual reason to, like when they're being arrested. They also do it much better than women.
Females do this in a very specific way, and they do it all the time
. They do it for completely stupid reasons, sometimes reasons they imagined. For example, when a female is imitating something her enemy said, she will preform the voice in the most nasty, snippy, exaggerated way possible, even if the person did not sound like that.>>194953
You don't have the intelligence to properly read my post or understand what I'm talking about.(Domo arigato Mr Roboto)
>>194955>You don't have the intelligence to properly read my post or understand what I'm talking about.
You're going on a rant about feminism based on a reply telling the original anon to have a talk with her bf about having the responsibility to not put his belongings on the floor anymore.
Are you fucking stoned? Stupid? Just trying to hamfist a tirade against womminz this evening? Fuck off dumbshit.
Eh, I'm still pretty much a freak but at least I'm self-aware>>194079>I would file a restraining order asap would move to the the side of the world
Reasonable. And it's not really that sexual, a little like >>194123
said. I do not support incest marriage or reproduction in any way. Just want him for myself, be the only woman in his life I guess.
Fuck what your parents think. Get an order of protection and get his ass arrested when he inevitably breaks it. He sounds like a fucking sociopath.
I would absolutely beat his ass since he's abusing your dog. I hope you have someone who can keep your dog safe when you're gone from the house and if not see if you can find someplace to take it.
Let me preface this by saying I'm 25. Got a short list here of shit I need to say somewhere.
1. I've never come close to having an orgasm. When I masturbate, it just stops feeling good pretty quickly, and it doesn't really feel great in the first place. On this subject…
2. I've never had sex or even kissed anyone else romantically. I had internet relationships as a teen but never an in person relationship. Part of me doesn't want sex because masturbating is so dull and putting things in my vag kinda hurts, so I just say I'm asexual, but I really wish I was normal.
3. My only fetishes are dudes raping other dudes, related to that. Its really embarrassing and I don't know why it's pretty much JUST that. I usually fantasize about being a guy getting raped. I know rape is a common fetish, but I feel like the added gay sex part of it is something I can never tell anyone.
4. I sometimes wish I was like a twink pretty boy, mostly just a guy though. I'm not trans or anything, but I really hate my boobs and would jump at the chance to have them completely removed. They're way big too, which makes me hate them more. And I'd just prefer male anatomy in general, but I don't hate being female at all.
I'm sure I have more to say but that's enough of a dump for now.
This only speaks about how sad YOU are.
Go see, talk and be there for your mother, you piece of shit.
Agreed. My mum is retired and the woman is constantly busy with her many hobbies and friends to the point, she's just as occupied as the rest of the family who work, study etc.
I can't say I agree that being a SAHM would be boring, you just need to be able to entertain yourself if you have free time.
It's gratifying to know I'm not the only one whose experienced this
I've been in a similar situation with the needing attention but wanting to be faithful
I ended up telling my bf that I needed more attention and then tried to make female friends
Idk I hope that helps
Tldr; befriend females
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>tfw i broke up with boyfriend about a month ago
>tfw regret breaking up with him
>tfw never will be together with him again
You're going to be okay. I went through the same thing you did but I got the surgery because I could go back to work the next day. Honestly I still get sad about it sometimes. I just let it pass. You will be alright and if you decide to have it that's fine to. Your choice. You're really strong whatever decision you make just know that.
Your boyfriend doesn't understand fully and he never will but that's not his fault I guess.
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I'm so tired of being a friendless, shut in, shy loser.
>Became a shut-in insecure little shit because of very severe bullying
>Lost all my """friends""" around 10 years ago
>though i would have died before i entered my 20's (i did not) so did not try to reconnect with people
>still a friendless depressed anxious alone shut-in in my 20's and regretting all my life choices up to this point
If you saw me in real life you wouldn't think i am as miserable as i am, or that i have no friends, because i always look like i don't care about being alone and actually like it. I take very good care of my appearance, take my hygiene very seriously and don't act awkward or autistic around people, so i seem completely normal and not the what you consider a "loser".
Whenever someone asks me why i am alone i say "i like being alone", because i don't know how to say i don't like it but i am alone and can't do jack shit about it.
I look very confident with it and at peace with the fact that i go by myself most places. But it seriously eats me up inside every single time i remember i basically have no one in life to have fun with or confide and converse with, it is making my life a fucking never ending nightmare.
I don't even remember how to make friends anymore, every single time i try to make acquaintances it doesn't get past a few conversations, then the other person stops completely from talking to me suddenly and i wonder what did i do wrong to fuck up yet another conversation eventhough i was trying to keep the talk going.
I used to be very shy and awkward about interacting with people, but now i try to always be welcoming to people and open up a little more, but i don't know if i seem too over-eager to meet people or i over-share too much and it feels awkward, but it never gets past a few exchanges.
Since i am currently studying at-home and do not have a work, i don't know where i would be able to find strangers on a daily basis that starting a conversation with wouldn't be weird. Tried on-line games, but i always seem less passionate about them that the people i meet, so it never goes anywhere.
At this point i am seriously afraid i will die alone with no one who loves me because i seem to be unable to meet people no matter how hard i try to get over this slump.
It's fucking depressing and sad for a woman in her 20's to be this way, so i always keep it secret but it really sucks.
20 is a perfect age for women to have kids.
Girls start producing more retarded babies at only 25, yet somehow this degenerate society tells girls even that is too young.
Girls should be having kids around 14-24, white people aren't having kids anymore because white women have been encourage to pretend they're men and go to college and focus on a career. (Third-world cultures haven't been effected by feminism like this)
Guys are failing academically and financially, they aren't going to college or focusing on a career anymore because they have no motivation to since women are ruined. All the "good guys" disappeared because the only motivation for them to exist in the first place was the reward of a proper wife/mother.
99% of women have no purpose being in college, the most valuable thing they could do in society is be a good mother and wife.
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This happens to me too, except I find that it's usually white middle-aged women who don't like me. I guess they think I'm stuck-up? I'm just shy.
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I had this female coworker a couple years ago I developed a crush on. We both had boyfriends, and we were both in committed, long term relationships. I felt a little weird about it, since she's literally been the only woman I've ever had a crush on. I didn't let her know about my feelings, because what good would it do? We both had boyfriends, she's straight, and I'm mostly straight, I guess? I just chalked it up to being some dumb little crush. She ended up quitting and worked a string of dead end jobs, only to end up back at my workplace a few months ago. I was elated to have her back. I always look forward to when she is scheduled to work the same shifts as me. Recently her long term boyfriend broke up with her. I'm still in a happy relationship with my boyfriend, but I can't help feeling so fucking jealous every time I see some asshole guy trying to hit on her in her time of weakness/sadness. I just want to protect her from getting hurt again. Every time one of these guys bothers her I fantasize that I stand between them and tell the dude, "She's my girlfriend, go away" or something to that effect. I feel very annoyed with myself that these thoughts have been occupying my mind more often lately.
I'm crushing very hard, bordering on falling in love with a guy that is not only taken for 4 years now, I know his girlfriend, I'm fb friends with her cousin, and my bff who introduced me to the general friend group/circle also used to date this guy a bazillion years ago/introduced him to his current gf.
It's such a clusterfuck of connections and history and here I am pining over a guy who yes, is 11 years older than me, but he's witty, he's smart, he's funny. And I'm not blind to his faults; he's a motormouth, he can derail any conversation like it's no biggie, he is probably too good for me, and yet here I am wasting my time wishing he liked me in secret.
I'm in my late 20s so I'm not a teenager, I should know better. But he's very sweet to me, he's protective, he's kind, and honestly you don't get that a lot. And to top it off, his girlfriend is a good person. She's not the stereotypical toxic bitch that he could sooooo do without, nah they are apparently happy together. She's getting her phd abroad and they are LDRing atm and people make it seem like it's going so swimmingly and amazing and what a totes awesome couple 4 lyfe and marriage and kids and shit. And yeah, everyone always wants to show off their best behaviour, nobody really advertises the bad parts
but like, I keep trying to distance myself. I keep saying to myself don't do it, don't do it, and suddenly there I am, sitting next to him while I stroke his arm absent mindedly (he doesn't object, either), or he strokes my hair as I sit by his legs on the floor, or he pinches my cheeks/says I'm so adorable and cute he could just bite me, he calls me sweet, etc, and I'm just a puddle. Fuck my life.
Even if I get best case scenario aka he goes with me eventually, I'll still be "that person" to a whole community. Cliques are small, people talk, and my name will be mud to everyone.
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Honestly lately I've just been wanting a tall, beautiful gf to hang out and have great sex with
The search continues
I'm really glad demented schizoids like you no longer have the power to control and abuse women with impunity. Men can no longer force women to marry or have sex with them and this makes you mad because there is literally no other way anyone would ever touch your fucking busted ass.
You'll die alone, wanking your shriveled cock in your sad little hand.
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My confession is that I like licking these things clean
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Same, anon. Also, I've been taking shots of these since I was a kid. I dunno, shit tastes better in little cups.
thank you anon. i went through with the pill and after it passed the next day i felt immediately better. i think the pregnancy was giving me a depressive bout, but overall i'm glad i made the decision i did. >>196505
and the most valuable thing you could do for society do is to kill yourself. also in case anyone saw this retardation: 35 is when the rate of issues in children start spiking. the best biological/social age for women to have children is mid-twenties to early thirties. i'm staying in college and graduating, so is boyfriend :)
I still do this. As a kid I took them from diners etc. and got yelled at by my parents
They're so good
If you're so concerned about retarded babies, you should be concerned about men in their 20s, and against teen pregnancies/age gaps. >* Autism rates were 66 percent higher among children born to dads over 50 years of age than among those born to dads in their 20s. Autism rates were 28 percent higher when dads were in their 40s versus 20s.>* Autism rates were 18 percent higher among children born to teen moms than among those born to moms in their 20s.>* Autism rates also rose with widening gaps between two parents’ ages. These rates were highest when dads were between 35 and 44 years old and their partners were 10 or more years younger.>The higher risk associated with fathers over 50 is consistent with the idea that genetic mutations in sperm increase with a man’s age and that these mutations can contribute to the development of autism.
But you don't actually give a shit about healthy pregnancies, you just want to raise your chances of getting a hotter, younger wife by convincing women to waste their youth on kids they can have later.
>>196652>35 is when the rate of issues in children start spiking.
it's not actually "spiking". thats only what big pharma wants you to believe.
statistics is hard I know.
Ratios that are used in the US a lot are confusing I know. Let's look at it a little shall we? >Higher Risk of Chromosome Abnormalities>>Chromosome abnormalities, such as Downs Syndrome, are much more prevalently in women who become pregnant after 35. Most studies find that the likelihood of giving birth to a child with a chromosome abnormality after 35 is around 1 in 170. This number dramatically spikes by the time a woman reaches 40, when the chances are around 1 in 60.
the ratio 1 in 170 is the same as 0.59%.
That means it's 59 of 1000 women giving birth. Wow! The number doesnt look as big anymore does it?
with 25 years old the chance of having a baby with down syndrome is 1 in 1,200.
Whats that in percentage? It's 0.08%.
So from 8 women from 1000 women giving birth to 59 women of 1000 women giving birth to a child with down syndrome. That number is increasing, but it's still considerabely low.
Want to know what the risk of a stillbirth is? At 35-39 it's 0.5 to 0.6% Wow! That's exactly the same as for having a child with down syndrome! Weird isnt it?
But now the article goes on saying the number lowers voice for a horrifying tone dramatically spikes
when you reach 40. But what is 1 in 60 meaning? Again (1 divided through 60, multiplied by 100) it's only 1.67%. That's only a little over twice as much than with 35. It's 167 women in 1000 women giving birth or finally 1-2 Women of 100 Women giving birth. Too me that number sounds still fucking low.
Nothing "dramatically spikes". It's just bogus for more prenatal testing and that sorts.
from 19 until 35 the chances are 0.4-0.5% btw.
WOW THAT NUMBER SPIKED DIDNT IT … attention, it's irony
Agreed. I knew way too many teenage moms who didn't have hips wide enough to naturally deliver because they just haven't hormonally developed enough at that point. Most I knew got c-sections or had to do the weird vacuum thing.
So many teenage preggers would be dead if not for modern interventions.
i fell for this guy, it didn't work out, now i stalk him online daily. it extended to stalking a girl, whose pictures he keeps liking on instagram. i feel like an asshole because i want him to suffer (nothing serious, just… i want him to be a lonely loser) and i keep calling the girl names (irl to myself, i don't comment on her posts). i know they will never be together i just can't figure out how she's better… she's prettier, i guess. i looked at her twitter one time, she barely uses it anymore but her old tweets (2 years or so old) are still there - she sounds like a complete cunt. i find it hard to imagine that she's a better person now. i've never met her in real life, never spoken to her.
it's easier to hate on him (and her) than to admit to myself that i'm also a shitty person and that i need to change myself. i'm a poor excuse of an adult.
i should see a (psychiatrist? psychologist? therapist?) because i can't keep going like this. the whole thing started from me being lonely and depressed. this last year was shit, there was one time when i didn't drink water for two days because i couldn't find the strength to get out of bed and take a shower, so i could go out and buy water (tap wasn't drinkable at the place i lived at). i'm still alive and that's a fucking miracle about which i'm not sure if i'm grateful for. also now i do this thing where i just stop in the middle of the sentence when i'm speaking and then continue. the pause is long enough to be noticeable but to not be too awkward. it's like i blank on my thoughts.
Oh my god I did the same thing in college. Depression sucks. And it's crazier cuz once you get up and do it you're like, "This is so fucking easy why did it take being dehydrated for a day and a half to get here" and then it starts all over again
Also guys will choose the hotter girl the majority of the time. I think social media and porn wraps their ideals of beauty. And that's fine everyone has a preference. Just gotta wait till you find someone good
>>196813>i just can't figure out how she's better… she's prettier
This is why it's dangerous for women to be raised with so much importance placed on looks. It's not that this isn't what it's actually about (it probably is), but you don't realize that it doesn't exactly matter and being attractive is an arbitrary standard for guys despite their protest to the contrary.
I've seen some guys fuck some ugly women.
>i'm a poor excuse of an adult.
This, right here, is what actually matters. Anon, one day we will all be older and uglier. We're going to be adults looking for qualities like responsibility and career because looks generally don't pay bills or provide food. Looks don't guarantee a partner who is tolerable or responsible.
If you are a better person, you will attract better people who will see value in you beyond looks. And wouldn't that make you feel better, knowing that looks have an expiry date?
See a psychologist and set up little goals to better yourself. Just because one guy seems to have rejected you doesn't make you unsalvageable. You can do it. You are worthy of help and love.
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I've been devising ways of killing squirrels that would probably make me sound evil to most of my friends and strangers who would find out.
Squirrels never used to bother me until they turned out to be destructive dickbags. WORSE than mice or rats, imo.
They shit and piss all over my deck furniture, dig up my plants to bury seeds from my bird feeder, and eat my plants to boot. They knock over the cute shit I put out, like candles and ceramics, and break them.
I bought jalapeño plants over two months ago and haven't gotten a single motherfuckin' pepper because those little bitches gnaw off any pepper or flower that appears. Like, most times they're not even eating the peppers, just taking a bite and tossing it on the ground like it's fun for them to do. I've tried putting bird netting over the plants, but they do find ways to tear the netting off eventually, or just knock over the whole damn plot.
I've never hated an animal so much, if not because they're conscious of the fact that I am a threat and clearly don't want them on my deck, but they test me anyway.
I'm going out today, finding the biggest rat trap I can buy, and modifying it by adding a bunch of nails sticking up like pic related.
I will take so much pleasure from watching these smug bastards finally die. I thought about asking my hick friends for a pellet gun, but being that it's an apartment deck, not a good idea–even though I'd enjoy it.
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Sorry I triggered
If it makes you feel better, I ordered this instead.>muh humane death
Causes death in under 10 seconds. Get bent. It's a pest animal.
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Yeah. I was sexually abused when I was 5, and I honestly felt like it never bothered me up until now, almost 20 years later.
Looking back through my childhood though, I can see how it affected me. It also affected the way that my parents treated me, which added to much of the problem.
Don't ignore it if it's bothering you. Talk to someone, it really helps. Cry about it. Don't bottle it up anymore. It doesn't solve anything, and you'll never just forget about it.
I've been talking about it with a few people I feel close to for a couple of years, and I feel so much more free.
Good luck anon
I can, I've had problems with sexual abuse when I was very young with a pediatrician and a caregiver. I feel like I forgot the memories throughout the year until I was 14 or 15 ish, then it hit me and I finally realized what happened and what they did was wrong
I'm scared to tell anyone about it because the caregiver who did it was drunk when it happened and I believe they forgot, so if I did tell anyone I would come off as some big fat liar faking abuse for attention and the caregiver will find out and think I am just some crazy girl faking abuse for attention
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I have a severe crush on another girls boyfriend.
She happens to be a snowflake on this website and i have been trying to avoid posting anything relating to her even though i read every message posted in that thread.
Because i somehow convinced myself if i do not contribute or shit talk her then it's still ok for me to crush on him from a distance but if i join in on the shit talking i will be utter scum and i don't deserve the kind occasional talks i have with her boyfriend.
But it's so tempting to shit talk her because i hate her for being such a slutty attention whore and giving her boyfriend a bad reputation not to mention the fact he's rather unhappy with the shit she does but he's too sweet to tell her to behave because if he would she'd pull the ''THAT'S SEXIST I CAN DO WHUTEVER I WANT'' card
who is it? is it a legit crush or?
what is she a flake for?
She's a flake.>>198230
Both Twitch,Youtube,She's white.>>198269
I still like him, She's still a whore.
The thing is i don't want to steal him from her or anything i just wish she'd try to be a better girlfriend for him because he deserves it.
Instead he gets his reputation tarnished because she can't stop on getting off on other men's attention.
I meant pathetic as in he's a pathetic person but amazing as in the drama that came from that. It even made the news on tv
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anon what the fuck
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This is the type of shit that will get screencapped and posted in a "Best Of Lolcow" image set, or if you ever go full mystery.jpg and all your posts get linked back to you, this will be the one people constantly bring up.
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Holy shit anon.
0-10 in a few seconds.
You'll get a lot of shit for this, but we've all been there. Maybe not in the sense of cucumbers and that sort of weirdness, but in the sense of falling for men other than our boyfriends.
Every girl has had at least one "oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck" moment where a guy you adore asks you to go back home with him and you agree or something similar.
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Bitches at my job are getting greedy.
We all used to pick up each other's shifts for free, but ever since our company allowed shift trades for incentives they all wanna hustle.
I wouldn't mind paying someone $5 extra per hour (assuming they're being paid $15/hr + $5=$20/hr), but they often want minimum $10 extra per hour. If someone is really desperate to give away a shift, hustlers will purposefully wait for that person to raise the offer just so they can profit money.
Often times my company will let people leave on unpaid time off if we're overcount. So if greedymcgee picked up that hour for $10, that's $10 they get to pocket for the time the company offered off.
Another shady thing hustlers will do is that they will pick up shifts from the incentives group, pocket the incentive money, and then go give up the shifts on the FREE trades group to anyone picking up for no charge. Which is bullshit.
I managed to give up 7pm-10pm the other night for $15 as I advertised, but not before some bitch messaged me wanting to do it for $25.
I swear this is gonna get toxic.
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Ahh mini print description and huge adjectives descriptions. Cause you know, what we all really want to know is that it is neroli and ylang-ylang scented but not what it actually is. Much like adjective foods.
I feel you, lmao. Especially the dumbasses that subscribe to the group of tv show X when they're still at season 1 and whine and throw a tantrum when people discuss the latest episodes.
But in any case, people are allowed to discuss on their profiles. It pops up in your feed? Who cares. It's just a movie/show/book/whatever, at the end of the day. I've read JoJo knowing all the characters who would die and other things that were going to happen and I enjoyed it anyway, so it's not like knowing something is going to ruin it all.
I don't believe racism is a political belief, I guess I just spoke out of turn? I don't know. I don't care if someone gets fired from their job if they go to a Nazi rally or they can't keep themselves from being a /pol/ shiller on Facebook. I think their employer has every right to do that and I wouldn't want a Nazi to be working for me.
I guess I just feel like witch hunts can easily become something where people attack others just to avoid being attacked themselves. But I think that whatever my opinions are, I won't be talking about them anymore. I think I will just have to agree and go with the crowd about it and not pipe up with dissenting thoughts, lest I be eaten alive again.
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>>202316>I recently said that I don't agree with political witch hunts because they can spiral out of control. I was called a Nazi for this and many of my friends tell me they think I am racist now.
No, you're fucking right and anyone who says otherwise is a god damned retard.https://www.nytimes.com/2017/08/14/us/charlottesville-doxxing.html?mcubz=3
People with passing resemblances to some jackass from that march are being harassed. Mob justice is STUPID and incredibly inaccurate. Reminds me of that antifa that got unmasked and his brothers in arms smashed his skull in a while back because they have no idea what a nazi actually looks like.
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This might sound petty, but I just found this one ~alternative girl~ ho's Facebook profile from middle school who used to shit on me all the time in class, and she got so fat and really blew up. Like, she has cottage cheese legs now and at one point cut her hair to look like a fakeboi according to her old photos. It looks like she's doing terrible and she's still chasing after band guys from shitty emo bands who will never notice her. And there's another girl who looks just as ugly and trashy who did the same shit to me and is stuck doing nothing in that small town. I am fucking flourishing. The people I went to school with really fucked with me bad to the point I had to drop out and get my GED earlier than the legal dropout age in my state so this is such a good feeling. Total hick retards that deserve to stay miserable.
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Iktf. The rich daddy's girl SJW who used to be my best friend before turning around and talking shit about my anxiety and poor parents went to study sociology in the UK and is now back in our country, living in some down the country bogger town (can't afford rent in the capital), working at a call centre for peanuts, complaining about having no friends on twitter and dealing with severe mental issues. All things she used to take the piss out of me for. Loving Every Laugh.
Oh hell, I loooove being petty and relishing in the fact that I'm doing better than people who were mean to me in the past. I mean, I guess it's pretty immature but schadenfreude is one hell of a drug.
Without creeping on social media, I can think of three girls who were super bitchy who are now single moms (at 23-25) and working shitty sports bar jobs and have no life outside their sprogs. I moved abroad to the city of my dreams and have an awesome job, a loving SO, and a cute puppy instead of a baby.
My bestfriend and I had a rough period maybe two or three years ago because I was tired of her always judging everything that I did. I had a fling with a boy who she didn't like and things got worse because I didn't want to talk about it with her. I knew she was just jealous but she tried to play the victim card of ''I'm being forgotten! You don't care about me anymore!'' when actually I told her EVERYTHING and every freaking time she got petty and pissed about it.
One day, when all this was happening, I knew she got into my Facebook account because she told me she thought I was lying about something lol as if it was completely normal to do that. She apologized and I let it slip but I was so mad I got into her Twitter account.
Not only I knew she was lying to me (and pretty much everyone she knew in RL) about having a relationship with a boy (who she supposedly ''dumped'', but was still dating), I also knew about her secret account. And by secret account I can say the profile where she put SO much shit on me, I was appalled.
She ''exposed'' our conversations twisting my words to make me sound the bad one here (i.e. when I asked her to meet up three or four times, she quoted the screenshot saying something like ''lol you have no time for me now that you have a boyfriend, nope, I don't wanna meet'' and things like that). Not only she was calling my (still) boyfriend a ''fuck buddy'' when in RL she was asking me to introduce him to herself, but she was doing it in front of people - not a lot though - who we both know and it was…Crazy.
I almost discovered the account by accident (I didn't know she had a secret account in first place) and at first I was so, so hurt. I thought we almost fixed everything between us and then I found that.
So I kept checking her Twitter and her secret account for more than one year. I felt kind of bad but I thought: fuck it, if she can't tell me all those things to my face I can't be bothered with all her fake lies. For a year, I kept asking questions about some things that I read there in a nonchalant way. If she told me something I've already read, I knew just what to say to make her confess more or less. She NEVER noticed what I was doing, she doesn't know to this day.
It came to a point where I had to leave her account because I was becoming paranoid about everything she said to me in RL and what she was going to write in there, and things have become better between us after all. I just didn't want to be like her anymore. I live better now in my ignorance, maybe sometimes I'm a bit anxious about her telling me one thing and actually thinking another but hey, what can I do?
What hurt me the most is that I thought everything was fine with her. If I asked her if something was wrong (even before I entered in her account), she swore everything was fine. Having to found it like that really fucked up my mind and my trust, because nowadays I'm always afraid that people is still lying to me or in reality they think one thing and tell me another. I have to ask for validation that everything's okay almost three or hour times before I convince myself that nothing's wrong and sometimes I myself make it worse just because of my paranoia.
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my boyfriend of 2 years is lying to me about everything and i love him too much to leave him or even cheat on him or anything. i couldn't hurt him like that even though he's lying constantly now. (i have proof too)
Before you send anything, ask yourself if it is rational, helpful or true.
Being upper middle class, skinny or white aren't things that make her a bad person so if you're targeting that, then you just look like a butthurt stalker that needs to get a life. If you can critique actual things that she has done, then she can improve herself. Or she can just cry about it, whatever.
Nothing bad could possibly have happened to make her sad because she is middle class, thin, and white. She couldn't possibly have depression because she isn't brown or fat! She can't be grieving because she's middle class! She can't genuinely find experiences in her life upsetting because she has it a little bit easier than meeeee despite having no frame of reference for what it's like to be poor, not white, and never chose to be a fat slob!!
It must be so oppressive for you anon. She doesn't have a nuanced understanding of circumstances she's never experienced, it's an outrage.
The thing is, I was tested for ASD (Asperger is no longer an official diagnosis) when I was receiving testing for a diagnosis of ADHD, and I did even meet the upper standards of the disorder. The steel-toe boots are a matter of practicality, too.
Either way, looking like a country hick in [metropolis] really doesn't seem like a good flag for socializing in general, yet alone dating. Not that I've ever gotten anywhere close to that…
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When I once read years ago of the fear of blushing in public I remember laughing it off.
Now I have this problem that is blushing randomly in public, and believe me when I say randomly, and I can't control it or even feel it. So people just look at me and say "Anon why are you blushing?" or "Your face is all red, are you embarrassed?" and never believe me when I say that no, I'm not and it really just came out of nowhere.
Now I understand that fear. Let it stop please
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>>206313>I can act normal but I haven't grown up one bit.
Your teacher thinks this when instructing you. Your boss thinks this when managing you. Your 90 yo neighbour thinks this when greeting you. Your mom thinks this all her life and you are oblivious to it, just like your child will be one day.
Thank you. Exactly. I think the problem is people think that others really feel aligned and 100% competent with their societal roles, when they don't. They've just had enough experience to perform their daily tasks in a way that isn't overwhelming, but they still wonder if they should be doing something else and still have plenty of stress. I'm just sick of this "idk how to adult" trend among actual adults because "adulting" is just fucking doing the work you agreed to do. You don't need to fucking fully identify with whatever the task at hand is. You're not expected to be the best. Ain't nothing to it but to do it. I feel like the way our language is set up makes people think they need to identify with all the tasks they do or they're fakes, when really, you're you and you're just doing shit as a means to an end, and some tasks are more enjoyable than others. That's all.
Sorry for rambling I'm in a goddamn Mood.
Being in a relationship with a woman
I know we can use a strap on but I want physical flesh touch and him grabbing my thighs
It's been going great but I'm craving
lol yeah, better stfu about it. We're not like animals to act on our every sexual urge, if you can't hold it back for someone then stop wasting their time, you're not worth being with them. I hate that trend with being open and getting no strings, no emotions pussy/dick outside. People nowadays can't stand minimal effort.
Polyamory is just people with fear of commitment and egoists. And I hate their holier-than-thou attitude, acting like monogamy is something unnatural and how couples lie to each other etc. Good example is Gaby Dunn, who I like outside of her weird poly superiority.
(I guess it's a confession of my unpopular opinion more than an answer to OP.)
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>tfw you are so depressed that staring at photos of a 2D man makes you happier than dealing with anyone in real life
>even worse because you have a boyfriend
Should I just off myself?
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If you off yourself then I should probably too since I'm in the same boat.
Why can't my husbando just be real?
Suicide pact time?!
But for real, it's disgusting to me because I have feelings for something that doesn't even exist while I have an amazing boyfriend (who even kind of looks a bit like my husbando, pure coincidence), but I don't know what to do lol.
Maybe I should learn how to lucid dream.
That's disgusting. It's one thing to have a great boyfriend and also a imaginary husbando, but if you don't even like your boyfriend then you should let him go. Don't waste his time just because you're too pathetic to be single, you're standing in the way of another person's happiness without even making yourself happy. I'll bet you even use the excuse that you don't want to break his heart, as if leading him on with lies is somehow better for him than letting him find a genuine relationship.
My jimmies are so rustled.
Yeah, it's a pretty fucked situation. I mean, I've known since the start that I'm fucked-up mentally, but he always accepted it and made me feel normal for not being sane. I think I'd be happier without him just because I wouldn't have to suffer having a non-existent relationship anymore, but it would just be a release of the pain and I don't know how I'd cope with that. I feel like I could go in either extreme direction. Either killing myself because I legitimately don't care about life anymore since nothing matters and don't know who I am without him to define me, or living life without him and going crazy with excess just because I can and, again, nothing matters. I don't think I can find any sort of happy medium. I wanted to get mental help at one point, but he wouldn't let me and essentially said I'd be betraying him if I did, so I never did.
I really just want to be released from him. But even now when I think I hate him, I've still given up everything for him. My family, my old life, my morals, everything I was. When I think on our relationship, I wonder if he's been manipulating me from the start and just doesn't care enough to do it anymore. Sometimes I think he's basically Onion with more finesse and intelligence, less emotion, and better looks and then I feel guilty for thinking that way and I don't know if it's because I should
feel guilty or because that's how he's trained me to think.
Then there's just the fact that thinking about being with him disgusts me lately. It disgusts me when I remember he told me he'd talked to multiple very underage girls without any sort of feeling of wrongness, and would have dated them without doing anything sexual until they were legal, basically grooming them into his perfect wife in the meantime, and how that was his ideal girl. I was disgusted when he told me that and couldn't imagine a future with someone like that, but he made me feel guilty for being upset with him. "All guys want that. You should be grateful I'm being honest with you," and that sort of thing. Or admitting he would lie to me if he thought it was in my best interest because "daddy knows best", things like that which make me wonder if he's ever lied when he said he was faithful because he doesn't believe I need to know the truth.
I just don't know anymore.
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I don't care if I die bitter and alone and have no female friends. Perhaps I sound like the toxic " hurrdurr am unique gurl xd I dont have female friends because im different!!11!! " but honestly the situation I was in was so shitty and toxic.
I was best friends with this girl for like two years. We were both eerily alike in many things, had some similar interests and backgrounds. I really loved this girl and thought I had some hope that maybe this time I found a female best friend brodie I can rely on and for her to me.
It wasn't until now I realized how envious and resentful she was towards me. Her ex-boyfriend is the admin of a really popular weeb gun page on Facebook, and I liked his posts. It was confusing how she made him block me after they broke up, because I was in no way involved with it. I just tried my best to emotionally support her when he cheated on her with a 15 year old cocaine addict who used to be popular on /k/.
Anyways, it gets worse. The ex-boyfriend doesn't know that I know that towards the end of their relationship she made various fake Facebook accounts to stalk the " homewrecking chick" when she was actually talking to a lot of guys online and was infatuated with them. I stressed to her to just dump him, but she was so stubborn. She stalked the homewrecker girl obsessively for many months.
Anyways, after they finally broke up she met my old "friend" from highschool. They hit it off, and I was happy for them. Until he started to treat me like shit and she was being even more passive aggressive. I never understood why. One day I confronted her and she said nothing was wrong…okay.
The final straw was when she essentially hid that she stayed over at his place and had sex with him and shit two weeks after she broke up with her ex. She still talks with her ex and is with that other guy I used to call my friend, but the ex doesn't know much about the other guy and is under the assumption that they'll get back together. She's using him as a safety net. I warned her about this "friend" because he literally has a harem of women and has a history of being a cheater. Also his ex is eerily alike like her as well.
So she basically lied to her mom saying that shes staying at my place. And that got me angry. I could be liable if anything happened to her. Her mom doesn't even know that she broke up with her ex yet. It's just a toxic situation all around so I told her I was disappointed and blocked both of them.
I'm so tired. I just want an actual female brodie who won't leave me for dick man. I'm already cynical enough as it is… It hurts to lose a best friend but I won't be there for her if she comes crying back after he breaks her heart.
She's 23 turning 24 this November.
And I don't mean writing the entire female gender off. I'm just cynical.
You need to move past it anon, it's not cute when an adult gets caught shoptlifting dumb stuff. I once witnessed a reasonably well dressed middle aged woman crying as policemen cuffed her for stealing some ready meals from a middle class supermarket.
I still start shaking when I hear alarms go off or use a changing room, but I'm over it because I don't want to be that pathetic woman.
I'm not giving them any attention though, I don't go out of my way to cause them misfortune. I'm very passive about it
Not trying to get "revenge" either, as they haven't really done anything wrong to me.
I recognize hat it has turned into bulimia, but before I started purging I just ate all the bullshit and allowed myself to gain the weight from it, so I think there is still an underlying food addiction issue.
I want help to stop it and have been considering reaching out to others with the same problem online to help maybe, but I'm just very recently realizing that I have a problem.
alright I've been trying to find a place to talk about this for a long time so I'm so glad I found this thread.
first a little background: I was a heroin IV addict for 6 years. first I was working and stealing but then I started prostituting instead of stealing and soon after I lost my job. so I became a full time prostitute. I did not have a pimp, I did not go on the street. I made ads on Craigslist saying I was a sugar baby looking for a sugar daddy. I got hundreds of emails every time I made an ad. I barely showered, I didn't shave anything, yet I always made $100-200 per John, plus they often brought me beer to which was nice cause I also needed my keystone ice. I saw up to 5 Johns a day and spent every dollar on heroin, needles, beer, and snacks. the worst part about it is that I'm not attracted to men at all, so having sex with these ugly old guys REALLY fucked with my head and I felt violated hundreds of times. some of the Johns even enjoyed watching me shoot up. I've been to rehab before. tried cold turkey. nothing worked. I tried to commit suicide multiple times but it never worked, I was always found before I died. I got tired of it all and decided I needed help so i went through rehab and a hallway house and now I'm in supportive living. I'm almost 1 year sober and I'm doing pretty good. I sadly got hepatitis c but thankfully it's curable now.
alright here's the story I've wanted to tell for over a year:
so one night a John who I actually went to high school with came over. we had sex and once we got up from the bed I looked at the mattress and saw a brown wet mark. I thought he fucking shit on me!!! I started freaking out yelling at him and demanded he take me to the ATM to get more money. so he gave me $200 for 5 minutes of sex because we both believed he accidentally pooped on me. needless to say I got extremely high that night
so maybe about a week later, I had to pee, so I go to the toilet and after I piss I feel something in my vagina, I push a little and grab it. IT'S A FUCKING TAMPON. it was grey and breaking down and really fucking smelly. I hadn't had my period in almost a month, so it was shoved up in me for 20-30 days. I had mostly unprotected sex with dozens of men and none of them noticed!!! so I figured out that the night we thought that John pooped on me, it was actually old period blood coming out of the rancid tampon.
if you wanna know more about me just let me know
I'm misusing my pain medication because I don't want to admit to my neurologist, and my wife, that I'm getting worse and in more and more pain every day. I have a brain tumour (benign but at a really awkward place, slow growing but inoperable and will eventually kill me), and every day is a fucking agony only barely relieved by having some Actiqs. I should come clean, but I fear that it will mean another brain surgery (fuck no, I still have wonky speech from the last one!), worry my wife silly (as if she needs to be worried even more!) or eventually will lead to the words I know are coming - "there's nothing more we can do for you". I'm 30, I'm way too young to die, and while I probably face a long decline rather than a mercifully swift death, I feel increasingly like my time is approaching, and even though I've been trying to squeeze as much into my life as possible since the first time I saw that big ugly white spot on my MRI aged 9, I just know there's so much I'll never get to do. Most days, I'm thinking about suicide and if it weren't for my wife I would have killed myself. But I can't do that to her. I'm trying to protect her, but at the same time I need someone to get me through this. But nobody can, so the cute little cherry flavored lollipops will have to.
Heartless and unrelated question: on a scale of one to ten, how awkward is it, as a prostitute, to have someone you knew in what I presume was your pre-prostitution life as a client?
Maybe I'm seeing everything from my perspective - I dread meeting anyone I used to know as a child who would still think of me as young and promising. I'm scared they would laugh at my decline (mine is physical, but I guess ending up as a prostitute is similar? No judgment here, just trying to understand.). What does it feel like to relate to someone you used to know from school as a john?
I'll tell some more stories tomorrow. I lost my internet and I'm using public wifi right now and I wanna go home soon. I'll be back tomorrow>>208957
yeah it was VERY awkward. at first I didn't recognize him. usually I would not do it with someone I knew, so I always got photos beforehand via email to make sure I didn't know them. I had another former classmate email me too and he was all mad that I wouldn't see him or send him photos. anyway so this guy shows up at my place in a new mustang and was already there and knew the deal so it was too late and I just decided to do it because I needed money. REALLY sucks though because like you said I also hate seeing people from my childhood in public in a regular setting, let alone in a fucking sex for money setting. one time he even had the balls to not pay me. that really sucked.
thanks for not judging me. like I said I'll post more stories tomorrow
It's been over a month since a guy I was really liked stopped talking to me. I guess part of it was my fault. When I met him, I just got out of a relationship and wasn't too interested in anyone, even though he liked me. His new girlfriend is gross…pretty much a female neckbeard.
I guess he forgot that we were friends at one point, since he stopped replying to my texts. I keep wondering if he'll come back and contact me someday, or if he's gone. I really hate myself for thinking about it.>>208955
I'm really sorry. Does your wife know about the tumor? This is just my opinion - you should let her know. You need someone to help you through this, and it's not fair to keep it from your wife. I suggest you try to live life to it's fullest until you can't.
I call bs you would have gone septic. Finding a used condom is one thing but a tampon can put u in a coma
Also bs on not having a pimp. Girl you're getting high on china white you know you had a scrawny ass bf helping you get craigslist bucks
it's not a fucking joke. it was disgusting. seriously the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me. I wanted a place to talk about it anonymously and found this thread. why would I make any of this up? not everyone gets TSS. it was fucking disgusting and I really don't know how I didn't notice. I was probably high as shit and put another one in, pushing the other one up really far while it was very lubed up from blood. then I took the other one out without realizing there was another still inside. then it got so far up there I couldn't even feel it, seeing as I was high all the time. I could've been getting sick from it but I didn't even notice due to being high
and no I did not have anyone helping me. sorry to break it to you but it's easy as fuck to use Craigslist and find Johns without any help. i only had help the first time I got a sugar daddy, a dealer introduced me to him. after that I did everything on my own. obviously you can't read and grasp that I'm not attracted to men at all. if I had someone helping me I would just say that. I am using this to get shit off my chest and I'm not afraid to tell the truth.
it smelled TERRIBLE!!!!! seriously I was so disgusted. this is literally the first time I've ever told anyone about it due to shame.>>209039
it's a lot more common than it sounds and most women don't get any adverse effects which surprised me, but I'm very thankful I'm okay now!
I feel really bad about that because I'm just a disgusting waste of human life so…
also no offense but just dump that guy. you can do better I'm sure
I wrote out a response to the brain tumor anon but deleted it because I just couldn't get the right thing to say. It's hard enough to say the right thing to someone going through that in your personal life let alone an anonymous image board
I really do hope tumor anon is on an eat pray love journey and sees the world
BTAnon here. Thank you. I really only came here to get things off my chest, not to get advice. It helped.
Yesterday evening, I confessed everything to my wife. I'll be having an MRI first thing on Monday, then we'll see where we'll go for from there. My neurologist has agreed to talk the results through later same day, and if we really are all out of options, refer me onto palliative care.
It was good to be able to get it off my chest here first, and while we are hoping that we'll be able to win some more time to finish up what's on my bucket list, we both are agreed that I don't want to spend that additional time puking my guts out in a hospital bed, sick from the radiation (chemo doesn't work for benign tumours, but radiation usually does).
I wish all of you all the best, and thank you. Please hug your loved ones. Life is short.