I'm falling head over heels for my co-worker. No surprise since we spend 8+ hours alone in the same office every single day tho.
But it's pretty sad and shitty of me to feel this way because i have a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend as well.
My boyfriend however is only interested in videogames and often says i talk too much. I'm very passionate about my career while he doesn't really care about anything other than food, videogames and memes. Basically a manchild. We've been together for years but while i grew up and moved on in life he kinda stayed the same idiotic teenager. An endearing idiotic teenager tho.
This other guy however, we can spend hours on end talking about books, life, art and human emotions, i've learned a lot from him and even tho i've read a lot less than him he actually listens to me and reflects on what i say like it's important. He's very passionate, humble, sensitive, super smart, is 8 years older than me and his girlfriend is beautiful.
I feel so stupid writing this.
Sometimes i think he also has a bit of a crush on me, but it's probably just my emotions making it up, he's just gentleman-like. He drives me to the subway station every day and drives me home if it's dark outside (we often have to work overtime). One time he called me by his gf's name by accident but our names are similar to begin with.
I'd never act on it tho, and i know he'd never cheat on his girlfriend either. I tried forgetting about it and moving on but it's been almost a year since i started working there and i like him more than ever. I'm okay with it just being fantasy, but it'd just be amazing if it was his impossible guilty fantasy as well. Then it wouldn't just be this one sided platonic thing but rather a complicated painful feeling we shared.
Sorry for long post + bad english. I haven't had the courage to talk about this with anyone. I feel really really stupid writing all of this tbh. I'm just trying to enjoy human relationships for what they are. I think that unattainable crushes are a beautiful part of life and that platonic love is best love.